Tuesday, April 20, 2010

She Said WHAT?



The other day at the zoo, I could NOT say the right word for anything. I had embarrassing slip-ups like this:

Man in primate line with wife beside him says to me: “So ones like this are pretty much extinct from what I gather. In fact, this might be the last actual one like it in the world.”

(Monkeys, people. The man was talking about some rare, exotic monkey.)

This will be important to note BECAUSE, the next (set of stupid) things I said was: “Wow. That’s kinda sad. You know that for certain?”

Man (laughing): “Yeah, sadly my mind is filled with all kinds of useless facts like that.”

Me: “Well, I guess it’s good that you’re well-endowed.”

The man's upper body jerked as this half-horrified, half-humored look crossed his face. Amused glee then his hand hurled to his mouth. A blast of snickers clutched and spiraled him sideways. His shoulders quaked like a rumbling volcano until he blew. Doubled over in a face-to-sidewalk maneuver, he kept laughing.

And laughing.

He alternated between chuckling and strangling and howling. Like, seriously, I have never heard sounds like that wheeze out of a person’s throat before.

People stared. Endangered monkeys stared.

All I could do was blink and wonder what the heck…

His (GORGEOUS!) wife turns slowly and gives first him, then me, The Stare of Death…which made him laugh harder which is when I performed mental word recall on the conversation and realized I said, “well-ENDOWED” when I meant “well-INFORMED.”

What could one do but walk away? Seriously, there was NO getting gracefully or tactfully out of that one.

Not for me.

And I’m sure not for that guy on the arctic ride home.

Stuff like that happened ALL DAY. I’m serious. Someone should have checked my blood sugar.

Problem is, I misspeak ALL the time but don’t mean to. Until recently, I was oblivious to how amused my friends are by it. Hey, I have purpose! LOL.

I think I have some valid hypoxia problem in my brain. A block or physical disability that won’t let me log the right word in or let the right word out. Wrong Word Usage afflicts my writing too. Thankfully for my readership and editors, I MOSTLY do it when speaking. Unfortunately, that’s sometimes when I’m PUBLIC speaking…like they have me come there ON PURPOSE to talk to their group. Imagine.

WWU-not a good hindrance to have when people look up to you as a wordsmith. Thankfully most extend grace and laugh about it.

Other Stupid Stuff I’ve said:

Pilfer instead of Filter
Pathetic for Prophetic
Altercation instead of Alteration (typed)
Hedonism instead of Heroism (typed)

Said “White SKIRT” rather than SHIRT (okay other than I said it in the context of not being able to wear a pink bra under it). My (sarcastic & snorting) friend replied, “Most can’t.”

Death instead of Debt. (Pathetically, I’ve done this twice. Once while saying to a friend, “All those credit cards, girl, you’re destined for death.” (Meant debt) Another time I said, “You should avoid death (meant debt) at all costs, it’s tough to get out of.”

Adultery rather than Infancy

Fish hackery rather than Hatchery (to a group of little kids)

Intoxicated rather than Sophisticated (at a job interview. No, I didn’t get it. LOL!)

Macadamic (no, it’s not a word) instead of Academia

Woodie instead of Wedgie (Trust me, you do NOT want to know)

Semi-conscious chocolate chips instead of semi-sweet (I don’t know how I did either)

Viagra instead of Allegro-as in steak sauce marinade. Store managers tore up shelves looking for it because I INSISTED I get it here all the time.

“They’re all very debilitating” (instead of “dependable”) in a public comment about our pastors.

Subscription rather than prescription-bad since I’m an RN. To my credit though, a physician dictated, “Patient is a twenty year old PRIMATE” rather than “Primip” on a patient’s chart dictation.

Said (leaving church), “I’m ravished.” Meant, “Famished.”

I accidentally titled Harlequin’s lovely, sweet and talented Sarah McDaniel an “Editorial Assassin” rather than an “Editorial Assistant” in an official correspondence. But that one was actually NOT my fault. My BlackBerry’s auto-correct changed the word without my permission or knowledge and the e-mail sent before I caught it. LOL! Thankfully Sarah has a sense of humor.

I do, say, type, think multitudes of these daily.

So what I NEED is for all of you to make me feel better by typing in the comment section a funny (or horrible! LOL) Wrong Word Usage you’ve read, heard, written or said.

Seven commenters get my seventh book, Steadfast Soldier, FREE. Talk away! Include your e-mail address.

Thanks for letting me be transparent about my greatest weakness (Or purpose! Oblivious Amusement, remember? LOL) as a writer.

What's yours?

149 comments :

  1. I was having dinner with my son and husband and talked about not being able to get around a barricuda rather than a barricade. Like where did that come from?

    Thanks for making ME feel better!

    jhsteele(at)bellsouth(dot)net

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  2. Hilarious post! I have a couple for you. As a college student, I was in a play. My character was supposed to remark to another that her husband must make quite a large salary to support such a large family. During the performance in front of many people I said that her husband must make quite a large family. The play stopped for several minutes. My mother once asked a visitor at our church if the baby she was holding was her grandbaby. She replied that it was her baby. As a teacher I taught drama for several years. Several bloopers happened, but the one I remember so well, and luckily it was during a practice and not a performance, a character was supposed to say that she was breathless with anticipation for an upcoming event. The actress said she was breastless. Practice promptly ended. I've gone on a bit, but I have one more which is my favorite. At the college I work at we have an annual jail day. This is an activity/fund-raiser sponsored by the student body. Students can pay so much money to put their professors in "jail" long enough to get out of class for a day. They also put each other in jail and it is just a fun day. The student government members take turns tending the "jail." A freshmen young lady was tending when a theology professor and the academic dean were both put in the jail. She watched the time and announced to the dean that his time was up and he could leave. He said he was visiting the professor for a few minutes. She asked promptly if it was a conjugal visit. After everyone laughed, which actually still continues with this now legendary event, she wondered what was wrong. When someone explained and asked why she had said that she said she didn't know what the word really meant. She just knew it had something to do with a jail. So, be careful sometimes of what you mean to say. That student now knows, by the way, to only use words she knows the full definitions to.

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  3. Oh my Cheryl maybe you have verbal dyslexia?
    I do say things wrong lots of times I type more so in a recent assignment I put bulb instead of blurb the lecture not knowing much about blogging and promoting book tours thought maybe it was a new thing.
    I have a problem of saying to a man your daughter wants you when its his wife. or visa a versa. I have said to the wife your father wants you its quite embarrassing and hard to cover and I have done it more than once or twice!

    I have the other issue too where as I dont pick the error or someone will say a joke and everyone is laughing and I have the blank look one they used the word impotent but I heard important and was not geting the joke till someone later said you didn't get it did you and said the word slower and I then got it I had heard wrong again.
    Cos I lisp on th and have been accussed of being a kiwi (new zealander) Im not but do sound a tiny bit like it sometimes my words sound wrong to. so you are not alone.
    The other thing I found is Aussies say things in a different way to Americans so I got quite a few funny looks and laughs when I was over there.
    I was trying to say where is Hallmark and they could not understand what I was saying finally they worked out what I was looking for.
    oh and any errors in this comment are for the readers pleasure.

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  4. Cheryl, you are one brave woman. Thanks for sharing your little 'problem'. It's quite charming, actually, and someone would be wise to snap this up as a character trait for their next book.

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  5. Oh thank you for the best laugh I've had in weeks! Not only have you given me a laugh, you've given me inspiration. I am due to write a blog on the International Fiction Writers Blog (http://internationalchristianfictionwriters.blogspot.com/) in a few days and I've been struggling for inspiration. If my memory will co-operate, I will look at the same topic. I do exactly the same, although I admit you seem even more gifted than me. My kids may disagree. They refer to my interesting word choice as "another Motherism!"
    P.S. Sorry for the false posts. Looks like my fingers are doing odd things too now.

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  6. I'm so glad someone else admits to this problem. I embarrass myself ALL THE TIME.

    One truly embarrassing moment was when I went to my local Romance Writers Conference for the first time. A woman in the elevator (not a part of the conference) stated, "What's all these women doing here?"

    (There were a lot of us there. Probably about 200 or so.)

    My reply? "We're here for love."

    You can imagine what she thought, and I hurried to give a better explanation with a tomato-red face. At that moment I truly wished the floor would've opened up to let me RIP. My critique partners, whom I shared a room, laughed for a long time over that one.

    diannashuford(at)gmail(dot)com

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  7. I am very fortunate to have a drive thru Starbucks, minutes from my house.

    Last week I drove up for my usual coffee of the day, grande in a vente cup with room for extra cream.

    The mic crackled and did I wait for the barista to speak? No...I blurted out...

    This is Tina. How can I help you?

    I was so embarrassed. The lovely young lady at the window however was gracious and shared her blooper moment.

    CHERYL, Love the cute guy with the gorilla. Ewww on the finger.

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  8. It's amazing the wisdom one can learn from just observing others. Hah!! Nice post.

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  9. Oh, crap, I do this all the time and I thought it was JUST ME!!!!

    And as I watch my MIL age, I cringe because here are some of hers from last night's birthday celebration for 82 year old Grandpa...

    Colonostomy instead of colonoscopy

    Dysarrexia (her combination of dyslexia and anorexia, obviously someone who is very thin and educationally challenged)

    Enlarged prostrate

    "She's eleven weeks pregnant, but they're just tellin' regular folks now. I've known for months!"

    And this is how it rolls in my world....

    ;)

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  10. Just what I needed this morning~a HUGE dose of laughter! Not lauging at you but with you :-)

    My greatest weakness in writing - well at this point in my life actually sitting down to write!

    I know all the tips to make time and stimulate creativity - just unable to do so right now! Alas, when God is ready for me to write again, He'll give me the words - so I just spend time with Him instead.

    Another weakness - toning down sensuality in my work...I try, I pray, I cry - just hasn't clicked yet. Was told by an editor "you write sensuality very well, too well for the Christian market."

    Are there points for staying true to my nature/style/voice?

    I'd love to be in the drawing for your book! pthib07@yahoo.com

    Good luck and God's blessings!
    PamT

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  11. Ref: His (GORGEOUS!) wife turns slowly and gives first him, then me, The Stare of Death...

    I have nothing that comes close to being this funny, but if you ever come to Texas, I am taking you to the zoo.

    I spit up my Coke Zero while I was reading this story!

    Thanks for making my day.

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  12. I'm laughing too hard to think of any of my 'creative speaking,' but I know I've done my share! Great post!

    ~Susan

    jcsmlee (at) hotmail (dot) com

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  13. I often get things in the right context but mangle the pronunciation beyond words.

    Did have one life's most embarrassing moment...my poor, poor father...In fifth grade science we were studying organisms and I proudly announced (repeatedly) my vast knowledge of orgasms. He gently corrected me but it took awhile before I finally figured out the faux pas.

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  14. Oh, Cheryl, BLESS YOU for making the rest of us feel SO much better this morning AND for the best laugh I've had in a while!

    My favorite is "Editorial Assassin"!!! I bet you are a legend in the halls of Steeple Hill, girl ...

    I was a travel writer for many years and almost went to print with the following line in a Program of Events booklet about Kauai, except for the grace of God and a proofreader:

    Kauai has some of the most beautiful whores (should have been shores) in the world.

    But usually my bloopers are phrase-related rather than word-related, so I'm not sure which reflects more talent or stupidity. The worst one I ever did was when my favorite aunt who looked like a movie star lost her husband when she was 43. My sister and I walked up to the casket where my Aunt Julie was standing, and I (an innocent 13-year-old budding romance novelist)promptly hugged her and said. "Oh, Aunt Julie, I am so sorry, but you are so beautiful, you will have a million guys after you -- you'll knock 'em dead."

    My sister just turned and quickly walked to the back of the room and I think my aunt was in so much shock, she didn't even notice, thank God.

    I'm lovin' everybody's examples today -- WAY too much fun!!

    Hugs,
    Julie

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  15. An Oxford dean was so famous for a certain kind of slip of the tongue where you reverse the beginning sounds of words. One of his most famous: The Lord is a shoving leopard.

    I imagine chapel was pretty much over at that point!

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  16. Okay, Cheryl, this is one I've never lived down with my mother!

    I was telling my mom I wanted Laura Ingells Wilder's Diary, instead diary came out diarrhea. And like you, it took me forever to figure out what my mom was dying laughing over and the bewildered child that I was, said it again!

    I trip over my tongue all the time. Good thing I don't do that in my writing!

    Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in this world. LOL!

    iacuttergirl at gmail dot com

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  17. I bet that man is still bragging and his wife is still giving him the fish-eye! LOL

    One of my favorites...a man at our church told us he went to his doctor and the doctor told him he needed a scat can.

    (CAT scan)

    --seriously hard to keep a straight face, because the event was so big in the man's life that he told simply everyone about it, many times, and said it wrong every time.

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  18. Oh, you are most definitely not alone....I know I've slipped up, but the only thing I can think of is calling "Guitar Hero" (as in the game) "Guitar Band". Apparently, I mixed up Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Whatever. I didn't find it all that funny...but my friends (who are awesome at Guitar Hero, whereas, I stink) sure did!

    This post was hilarous!!

    clp1777(at)aol(dot)com

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  19. Too funny! This should keep me twittering for a couple of days. My problem isn't wrong word usage, but the fact the right word does not come at all. It's there, stuck with tape in my brain somewhere.
    Dawn Ford
    dawnford001 at msn dot com

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  20. Knowing Cheryl, I can just hear her saying/writing every one of these things! lol

    Got coffee on?

    Pass my sippy-cup!

    lol

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  21. Julie, ROFL! I LOVE the barricuda story. I am SO glad I'm not the only one who does this. Thanks for sharing! I laughed about your barricude for DAYS after you posted it on my Facebook page. I can just imagine the expressions on your guys' faces. LOL!

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  22. I told my hair dresser last week that my tooth crown had never fitted right. She looked at me kind of funny. Then on the way home I realized I should have said "never fit right." I thought, She will never want to read one of my books!

    I think it's funny when people flub up like you are talking about. It's when people mispronounce words that I want to shake them and say, "That's not the way you say that word!!!" We had a neighbor when I was child who did this all the time. She always, always, always said "hamburgler" instead of hamburger. And she mispronounced Tylenol so bad we could never repeat how she said it, it was so distorted. Sometimes I thought she was mispronouncing them on purpose just to annoy my mother! LOL

    I have a family member who shall remain anonymous who does this. She says "Walmark" for Walmart, Lowbes for Lowes, but I really think she can't help it!

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  23. Aaron, LOL about you saying he must make a large family and it stopping the play for several minutes. I wonder at which point YOU figured out what you said. LOL!

    OH MY on the grandbaby. Someone did that to ME the other day. Asked if my kids were my grandkids. I was fuming. Stinks to age. LOL!

    The funniest one is the breastless story though. Oh my, I will be laughing about this for days.

    Conjugal...too funny.

    LOL! My niece just said, "I'm glad I don't try to look real smart or at least smarter than I am."

    She said, "It always ends badly."

    So apparently that's my problem. LOL!

    Thanks for stopping by, Aaron, and sharing those hilarious stories.

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  24. So Funny! Your post was a great way to start the day!

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  25. Jenny, verbal dyslexia...LOVE IT!

    I'm totally claiming that! LOL. I feel better already, thanks.

    FUNNY about the bulb! Girl, you are in good company. LOL.

    I can totally hear you on the joke thing. Being a blonde, I sometimes "get" jokes days later.
    PS...your Peeps are comin' soon!
    Hugs
    C

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  26. Debra, go for it! You create that character and name her after me. LOL!

    Seriously, do it. LOL!

    Thanks for stopping by. I have a fresh fruit tray and yogurt dip with it. Fresh orange juice and hot mocha at the coffee bar.

    Yes, Seekerville has a barista.

    Hugs!
    Cheryl

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  27. I mix up prostrate and prostate constantly. It's comical when leading a study on prayer.

    Pheasant for peasant to explain a shirt

    as for typos with the advent of texting and Ipod units I've only gotten worse with my bloopers.

    When I was younger someone said iwas like a board that had never been nailed I thought they were calling me stupid. Later I learned it meant a flat chested virgin

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  28. Once in college someone was talking about the concept of Monads. Some famous mathematician had been the subject and (I just looked this up) he said:

    There is no way of explaining how a monad can be altered or changed in its inner being by any other created thing . . ..

    The Monads have no windows through which anything can come in or go out. . . .

    [N]either substance or attribute can enter from without into a monad.

    This 'monads have no windows' had for some reason struck the guy I was talking with as funny and he kept saying it in response to some odd question or other.

    So I'd heard it several times.

    I'll insert here that this was a Bible study pizza party.....

    So, me, trying to be funny back said in response to some question,

    Gonads have no windows.

    I think those people are still in the Pizza Hut laughing...all these years later.

    Truly, truly humiliating

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  29. The other one was a personell file on a pastor. I was on the pastoral search committee at my church.

    And this was in the day when computer technology was just learning to have a document scanned into it, then be converted to text so it could be altered. Not a photo copy.

    But this word program was notoriously BAD at this and it would mis-read the typed words and convert them improperly.

    At first we were a little .... um .... unimpressed. Thinking, well the LEAST the pastor wannabees could do would be to proof read their resumes.
    But we finally figured out it wasn't there fault.

    Which doesn't mean it wasn't funny when one pastor wrote in response to a question on the resume about the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, that, what he typed up to say, "I believe in the Triune God, got converted by Adobe Acrobat to say, "I believe in the Triune Bed."

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  30. Too funny and love the pictures. My hubby has WWU. He's a pastor and at a youth committee meeting, we were planning a hot dog roast. Thankfully, the youth weren't there because my hubby popped up and said, "Okay, who's bringing the condoms?" He meant condiments. Never lived it down and now he really won't.

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  31. Shirl, I'm glad to provide the free entertainment. LOL!

    Would you believe that my fingers typed "Shirk" instead of Shirl? Goodness. I'm a verbal catastrophy.

    I will definitely be visiting your blog the day you write it. Let us know!

    Thanks so much for spending time with us today!

    Grab some coffee!

    Hugs
    C

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  32. LOL...What a fun post!

    When I'm really tired, I've been known to mix up first letters in a phrase, like saying, "I'd like a boot rear please" instead of "I'd like a root beer". Don't even ask me what a boot rear is. Thankfully I was among friends when I said it! :-)

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  33. And Shirl...LOVE how you termed my "problem" as gifting.

    LOL! Thanks so much.
    Cheryl

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  34. Hilarious post; good way to start a day..with laughs! I once worked two part-time jobs and answered phone at both places. More than ONCE, I would answer the phone saying wrong company name!!
    Would love to read your book!
    jackie.smithATdishmailDOTnet

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  35. Diana, LOLOL! I bet the woman is still balking over all of you women there for love. Too funny!

    Thanks for making me feel better. LOL! Sure you want my advice on your stories now that you know I'm far from perfect?

    LOL!

    You all should meet Diana's kick-butt heroine. Very cool, just like her creator. ;-) In fact, we hope you'll all get to meet her in a published book someday soon!

    Diana, thanks for your readership and trust. LOL!

    Hugs
    Cheryl

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  36. Very funny post, and I'm loving the comments, too.
    I live at the other end of this problem: people say perfectly normal things but what I hear is not what they said. Pop songs are the worst, but it keeps my husband laughing. Anyone remember the Angel Asparagus? You might have heard of the Age of Aquarius, though. "I don't like spiders and snakes" came to me as "I don't like vitamin A."
    There's my accent. I once asked, over the store intercom, for the office to send me a roll of pennies. After gauging their reaction, I explained carefully that I needed a roll of one-cent pieces for the front cash register. Texting is sooo much easier to understand.

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  37. Ooookay, that was funny!!

    I have NO idea if someone would think this is embarresing, but it was for me, TRUST ME!!

    I was attending a bridal shower for the daughter of a friend. We are about 6 or so years apart, but I didn't know her that well. Enough to hold a conversation and nothing else, sort of thing.

    So, I am introducing myself and I go, "Hi, I'm Casey, I don't know (insert Bride's name) intimately..." and the room started laughing (well people in the room). I was mortified. I meant it in I don't know her really well sort of thing, but the sound out of my mouth did not come across that way. I still wonder if those people remember that, but my mom assures me they don't. Oh please let it be so....

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!

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  38. This reminds me of something we call "missionary howlers". We missionaries are notorious for saying the wrong word in another language.

    Deep in the mountains of Bolivia, I once placed my breakfast order for "scrambles bones". (Hey huevos and huesos sound alike in Spanish.)

    My beautiful cousin once told a group of astonished young men in Peru, "I have 17 fiances." (She mixed up the word for nephews.)

    And another friend mixed up the word "pesos" with "besos". So when a questionable young lady on the street in Mexico asked him if he wanted a "beso" (kiss), he thought she meant peso (coin), and he replied, "No thanks, only one isn't worth much.

    Oh yeah. We're all good a missionary howlers.

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  39. So Cheryl,
    *his hand hurled to his mouth*

    Very creative, descriptive phrase.

    Or was he on spew alert and actually hurling??

    LOL, anyway you look at it : )

    For the life of me, I can't keep cataract and cardiac straight. I don't know how many times I've told people someone had a cataract attack!

    Fun, fun post Cheryl. Wordsmithing. It's not for the faint of heart : )

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  40. Talk about embarrassing...Dianna, I missed the second "n" in your name...TWICE! LOL! Sorry 'bout that.

    I *knew* in the back of my mind it was spelled unique too, and still typed it the boring way. LOL!

    Hugs
    C

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  41. TINA! ROFL on trying to take the drive-thru worker's order. I wonder how long it took them (and you!) to recover. LOL!

    Gyosh, I am feeling better and better by the second. I thought I was the only one who did these things. SO glad I'm not. LOL!

    Cheryl

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  42. Yes, Tina, fortunately that cute guy is my super-cute-N-funny rocker dude hubby. UNfortunately, that's also his finger. LOL!

    Hugs
    C

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  43. Thanks, Cheryl,
    Loving these comments today. I remembered another great one. At the college I teach at we begin each semester with a series of revival services. Once such time when I was a student, the song director wanted to teach us all a new song. In the days before using power point and screens, she wrote the words on poster board. So one of the lines to sing was supposed to be "Angels prostrate fall." I think you figure what happened...prostate lost its second "r." Quite a different type of song for a church service.

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  44. Hi Sheri, thanks! Now, let us in on what you learned here today. LOL!

    We do appreciate you stopping by. ;-)

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  45. Whoops, it lost it when I typed it, too. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecy!

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  46. Tina, I'm DYING to know that the Starbuck lady's blooper was. LOL!

    Aaron, you TOTALLY need to write an Author Bloopers book and include those things. Too funny.

    Thanks for sharing.

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  47. Cheryl, You gave me a good laugh this morning. Toooo funny. And I needed it. smile



    Have a bowl of my last oranges off the tree. Mixed with walnuts, they are yummy. Help yourselves.

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  48. I am laughing so hard, my sides are hurting! You just made my day. I thought that I was the only one to misspeak. Thank you for sharing! :o)

    Sheriberry (at) northriver (dot) coop

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  49. Hi Cheryl:

    For years I gave two three-hour seminars a day for my real estate school. So I had many opportunities to get words wrong. When I did make a whopper of a mistake, I’d always stop and say: “Please excuse me, I have dystalksia. I see words correctly but sometimes they come out jumbled up.”

    Many students would laugh at this. I wound then say in all seriousness: “Teddy Roosevelt was the most famous person to have this disease but it is so rare that there are not enough of us to have a foundation or even run PSAs.”

    At this point some of the students who laughed earlier started to look guilty because they believed I was serious. I would then go on about my teaching as if nothing were unusual.

    Some students would come up at the break and apologies for laughing and I’d say, “That’s OK, I just made the whole thing up.”

    Usually we would both laugh at this point except for one lady who, without thinking, just punched me on the arm. I don’t know who was more startled, me or her.

    Mary:

    When I was studying Leibniz in college, one theory about the monad was that it was like a seed in that each monad contained within it the entire universe. As a memory key for this concept I associate monad with gonad which has a similar biological function.

    I just think it is very odd that both these terms, ‘monad’ and ‘gonad’, would eventually appear in a Seeker blog. It’s almost like a verification of the monad. Great minds and all that. : )

    Vince

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  50. I was at an awards dinner. The president of the organization greeted the 'extinguished' guests---and couldn't figure out why people were laughing.

    I've heard my husband (from the pulput) refer to Christian martyrs as mortars.

    I'm more prone to the transposing of first letters of two words. I've been known to ask for pustard and mickles, and I hate chicks and tiggers in the summer.

    Helen

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  51. Helen

    You HATE Tiggers? Is that because they bounce? Ised to sing Hairysoda for the song Arizonia. Hubby sang modern dentistry for Islands in the Stream

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  52. Oh, my word...you all have me CACKLING with your stories.

    Now, I'm totally paranoid about what I type because the radar is ON. You all are probably LOOKING for my dyslexic moments. LOL!

    Cheryl

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  53. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  54. Okay, I must be REALLY paranoid because that posted twice. LOL.

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  55. Here's one that a friend (notice I didn't say fiend-LOL) posted on Facebook today:

    I went on a mission trip to Mexico City and I was attempting to witness to someone on the street without an interpreter (BIG MISTAKE). I proceeded to tell the man that we all have pescado and that Jesus came to save us from it. The only problem was that I told him we all have fish (pescado) instead of sin (pecado). After an awkward stare of ... See Moreabout 10 seconds I just walked away...I guess he may go through life living in fish. I could write a book on all of the dumb, stupid reeeeeally embarrassing stuff I've said. Cheryl, we have always had kindred spirits for a reason.

    I forgot to mention my husband's chuckle behind my back as he told me (during the 10 second stare) that I had used the words mistakenly...which is why I decided to walk away and leave the man living in fish.

    LOL!

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  56. Aaron, is it bad that I still have NO idea what is wrong with what you typed?

    LOLOL!

    Seriously, you need to do that Author Bloopers book. Or, you could call it Drama Bloopers...When the Curtain REALLY Drops.

    What a hoot.

    Keep 'em coming guys! Aaron needs material for the blooper book he's going to do. LOL.

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  57. Ruth, YOU do it? You have the best vocabulary of anyone I know, so I feel worlds better now. LOL!

    Oh how funny about your MIL. Gosh, if this stuff gets worse with age, I am in BIG trouble. LOL.

    Hugs and CONGRATS on your new sale!

    Cheryl

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  58. Very funny post, I am one of the worse people for saying the wrong things at the wrong time! Can't think of anything right now but will try to think later. I don't usually think before I speak and this is a bad thing!

    lead[at]hotsheet[dot]com

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  59. Pamela, I have no advice other than to make sure the characters respond real yet rightly to the temptation. Even God if He is a character in the book. Not that God would ever be tempted but you know what I mean. That He responds rightly and that the characters have Godly remorse over their screw ups and not just, "Oh, crap...I got caught or consequenced" kind of remorse.

    Maybe you're meant to be a crossover author too, ya know? Ask God to talk to you about the sensuality. God may be protecting you through the editors from having a book out there that you learn years later that you wish had been toned down.

    If you haven't read Julie Lessman's books...do it with an eye to studying how she goes about portaying REAL passion in a Godly context.

    God will let you know if you're on or off the right track. He's the best one to ask I think.

    Hugs and let me know how it turns out, okay?

    I hope you get some writing time in, too...once God releases you. You have NO idea how much I relate to that right now. God has me in a writing Time Out. It's HARD but disobedience is not an option for me. The result is not pretty when we try to push our own way or run ahead of God. Not that I know this from experience or anything....

    snicker...

    Glad to have shared a cup of laughter with you this morning.

    Hugs!
    Cheryl

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  60. ROFL! This post (and the comments!) made my day. Hysterical. I always jumble my words up and say the most embarrassing things.

    Terri Dawn Smith reminded me of all the missionary bloopers I've (and my friends and family) made in another language. I remember my dad (the pastor) once called someone a 'little girl'. Only he called her a slut instead.

    Or the time both my dad and another pastor I knew (both in the same country) used a swear word from the pulpit, because they thought it meant something else. The entire church lost it.

    And during our second week on the mission field, an American friend and I walked to this tiny store, and attempted to ask for 3 kilogram's of apples. But accidently, we asked for THIRTY kilo's (about 66 pounds) of HONEY instead. The lady's face was so comical... ah, the times you wish for a camera ;)

    I could go on and on... and I haven't even mentioned the bloopers I've made in English! ;)

    Oh, and leave me out of the giveaway, please!

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  61. Maria,

    I think we share a similar sense of humor. LOL! I would TOTALLY go to the zoo with you. LOL! Texas, here we come! What a riot that would be.

    Oh man, but just to warn you, they zookeepers MIGHT try to keep me there thinking I'm an escapee or something.

    Thanks for coming by! Visit us here in Seekerville often, okay?

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  62. Just finished a book that spellcheck didn't catch an error. The author wrote pubic instead of public. YIKES!!!

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  63. Okay, Aaron...after the third proofread, I FINALLY figured it out. LOL.

    DUDE, someone stole my glasses...

    No, I can't even use that excuse. LOL!

    So did you write the first chapter of that Blooper book yet?

    Get to it!

    ;-)

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  64. Susan! You can't get away that easily...GET BACK HERE and share your stuff! LOL.

    Thanks for coming by.

    Now be brave and type us your WWUs. LOL!

    Seriously, thanks for stoppin' by. Glad to make you laugh first thing in the morning.

    Cheryl

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  65. LISA...OHMYWORD! I can hardly catch my breath. That is HYSTERICAL!!!

    Organism is a TRICKY word, which is why I avoid saying or typing it at all costs because I would SO mess it up. Totally. LOL.

    Cheryl

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  66. Julie said: Kauai has some of the most beautiful whores (should have been shores) in the world.

    Ahhh! Hahahahahaa!!!! What a RIOT!

    I'll bet you were glad it got caught. LOLOL!

    Julie, I remember being at your house and hearing all of the mispoken phrases or impulsive actions you've done. YOU could write a book about those alone. Oh, honey I wish you would.

    It would be the funniest thing to hit the planet. Bless you for being you. I love it. Love you!

    Hugs
    Cheryl

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  67. Ar pastor friend, not my husband, once was preaching a sermon about Abraham. He started to say Abraham pitched his tent, but it came out Abraham pinched his teat. He had to dismiss the service.

    Helen

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  68. You know, this post started out to be like 2300 words, until I cut it down to around 800 by removing MOST of the recent bloopers I've said.

    So sadly, there are WAY more. I think I am the epitome of WWU. LOL.

    Hey, notice I didn't say "EPITAPH." LOL!

    Still skeered to type now...
    LOL
    Cheryl

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  69. I once said "Undulation" instead of "Adulation" which was bad considering it followed the phrase, "I encourage you to give Jesus your undying..." and I was speaking to a church's women's group at the time.

    You can always tell by dead silence and widening blinks that you've said the totally wrong thing. LOL!

    Okay...more, more more! Bring it on.

    C

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  70. Undying Undulation...That would get painful after a while. LOL!

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  71. I never expected this topic in Seekerville. I have many. I'll start with one that I heard.

    Someone I know who was working on quality control at a food company talked about some of the tests they do. They take food that's been. They take food, put it a test tube, and apply fire to it.

    The person meant to sy "test tube."

    The word they actually said did begin with "test..."

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  72. Okay, I've tried to post a reply about a hundred times today but I'm laughing too hard to even try to formulate a response...and more people keep on posting and by the time I catch up I'm howling again (which is worrying my co-worker). Phew!

    I just read this little tidbit this morning: Penguin Publishing (Australia) had to destroy 7,000 copies of 'The Pasta Bible' because of a word mixup. One recipe called for "salt and freshly ground black people" (instead of pepper.)

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  73. You know, I should buy every single one of you a copy of Write Tight by Bill Brohaugh.

    It's one of those books that one should read at least once a year.

    Imagine how bad my verbal dyslexia would be if I DIDN'T read that book. LOL.

    And yikes, I ALMOST typed Asphyxia instead of dyslexia. I'm doomed.

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  74. The other day I was reading Tosca Lee's Facebook (or Twitter) update and could have sworn I read: "In Israel, consumng tasty humans."

    I did a double take and sure enough...she'd actually typed "hummas" but my mind logged in "humans" for some reason which gave me a very funny (but gory) mental image of Tosca as a carnivore. LOL.

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  75. If you like these posts and comments, you might also enjoy Bill Brohaugh's book and Unfortunate English site: http://www.unfortunateenglish.com/

    It's unbelievable (and unbelievably funny) some of the stuff he finds. Check it out.

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  76. OK Cheryl, no offense, but I think you just gave me another chapter! :) I have another. A couple of students from the school were on a missions trip to the Mexican border area with others from the college. They thought they were telling people they were hungry, Yo tengo hambre. They said instead, Yo tengo hombre, which if you don't speak any Spanish means I have a man. Needless to say they got many, many strange looks.

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  77. Speaking of South of the Border, my husband bought a T-Shirt in Mexico one time. The guy selling it was out of Nuevo Progresso T-shirts and suggested he get that one.
    He was wearing it the next day, in South Texas in a Target and he asked the check-out girl, who was Hispanic, if she could read it?

    The girl looked at it and started snickering, then refused to translate it.

    We have no idea.
    We showed it to someone up north where we live who speaks Spanish and he had no idea what one word meant.

    So now he wears it to sleep. We figure it's some slangy thing with a double entendre meaning maybe???
    But he's afraid he might wear it in the wrong place and get ... you know ... beaten.

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  78. Lisa, I'm dying laughing over the shoving leopard.

    A youth pastor friend once kept saying, "We are clumps of lay in the master's hands." The text read "lumps of clay" and he kept saying it over and over. I finally had to get up and leave because I was about to burst with laughter which was annoying and distracting him to the point that he was glaring at me from the pulpit. I couldn't help it. He would NOT stop saying it the wrong way.

    I laugh at the more HORRIBLE times. For instance, the funeral of a close family member. The pastor kept saying, "she" when the baby that died was a "he." That was far from funny but the urge to laugh kept hitting me. Stress and grief maybe, I don't know. Or it could have been because the baby's mother was close to coming out of her seat and strangling the pastor. It should NOT have given me the uncontrollable urge to laugh but I could hardly shake it. Maybe God's way of getting me through one of the most difficult days of my life.

    Laughter is a gift.

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  79. These are so funny.
    A friend showed me an application once (for a job as a sales clerk)where the young man filling it out had a literal (very literal and hilarious) interpretation of the questions.
    For example:
    Current Occupation: "That's why I'm applying. I need one."
    Graduate Education, if any: "If I had one do you think I'd apply here?"
    Sex: "Not now, I'm waiting for the right woman."

    I laughed so hard. The entire resume was full of stuff like that. Brilliantly funny - and he MUST have done it on purpose.
    He got the job too.

    I would try to use a personal example, but I block those embarrassing moments from my mind. I think I have a whole year of my life blocked out ;-)
    When you lecture three times a week, there are PLENTY of opportunities to look completely ridiculous in front of lots of people.

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  80. Have to share this latest, wasn't my blooper of words, but it was comical.

    Hubby and I just drove through Wendys and ordered a oreo frosty. We get to the window and the guy there looks at my husband with this questioning grin and asks "Does your shirt say Viagra, man?"

    Taken aback my husband holds out the patch so he can see it reads Omega. "Whoa," he says, "I wondered why you'd wear a shirt that says Viagra you don't look old enough to need it."

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  81. Dang! I did it again. See? I'm out of control. LOL.

    That last post should have read, "MOST" not "MORE."

    I just remembered an e-mail that I sent to one of the Harlequin Higher Ups about a BEA signing. I proofed the email, but not the signature. I figured out one send too late that I'd made duplicate errors. First, I (meant to) put "Hugs" before my name instead of a more appropriate business response such as "Regards."

    Then, worse, I mistyped "Hugs" and put "Jugs, Cheryl Wyatt."

    They still let me sign, thankfully. LOL!

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  82. Mr. McCarver double dogged dared me to leave a comment stating that I was the student who made the unfortunate statement about the conjugal visit....there you go....

    Hope you're happy Mr.Mac....

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  83. Winter, I want to know your secret. How you manage not to do it in your writing. LOL!

    Thanks for coming by! Grab a virtual afternoon snack.

    A little boy stood in front of a church to say his Bible memory verse but what came out was, "God sent His only Son to give us everlasting wife."

    I'm sure all the husbands in the room were cringing. LOL!

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  84. Erica, up until about five years ago, I had NO idea what scat was. My MIL and FIL brought back a book from Yellowstone that featured nothing other than animal scat. I think it was called, "Who Pooped in the Park" or something similar.

    Scat can...oh my. Too funny. Poor guy, if he only knew what he was saying. At least I HOPE it was the man and not the doctor who mixed up the letters. LOL.

    Thank you for sharing. This is one my husband will roar over when I read it to him. LOL.

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  85. Melanie, LOL! Or what about "warsh" for "wash." Living in the south, I hear that one a LOT!

    In fact, when I transferred to Illinois mid-school-year one of my HIGH SCHOOL teachers asked where I was from.

    I answered, "New Mexico" to which she responded, "Oh wow! How long have you been living in the U.S.?"

    I repeated, "NEW Mexico."

    She nodded, "Yeah, so when did you move to the U.S?"

    Not kidding. I felt REAL secure with my education in that class. LOL.

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  86. So fun to read others' experiences and "wrong word" happenings! I have had tons of those happen to me through the years, especially with my kids and do you think I can think of even ONE of them right now??? NO!!!! I hope that doesn't mean my brain is going...

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  87. Courtney, that IS funny. Because like, what rock band doesn't have a guitar in it? LOL!

    I feel your pain, girl. Totally something I would say. Glad you shared. :-)

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  88. Dawn, totally Twitter it. Then more people can come over and make fun of me. LOL!

    Seriously, laughter is good.

    Glad to be of service to you. LOL!

    Come back lots!

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  89. Blogger cut me off. LOL!

    As I was saying...

    Come back lots, I'm due to say something stupid very soon. It's been AT LEAST three sentences now...

    ;-)

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  90. Pam Hillman! SHHH! You're not supposed to share about the sippy cups! LOL!

    For those of you who wonder about Pam's cryptic comment, nooo...she's not regressing.

    I once had one of my big, bad Special Forces soldiers yank a sippy cup from the side pocket of his field pack and take a big swig.

    I MEANT to type "canteen" but one of my little ones must have ran past, asking for something to drink while I was typing or something.

    Funny thing is, that ms went through SIX people and NO ONE caught it.

    One of my editors wrote in the line edit, "Um...C, I'm pretty sure this isn't what you meant. Please clarify."

    LOL!

    Thank GOD for good editors. I mean it. Patient ones too. :-)

    Cheryl

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  91. OH man, between Melanie and her fitted crowns, Tina and her nail-less boards, which I'm sure are caused by an underactive prostrate gland (wink) and pheasant shirts that may be worn too tight, Mary C and her Monads...my face HURTS from laughing!

    I'm REALLY glad there are more people like me in this world than I thought. :-)

    I applaud you all for being brave! LOL.

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  92. Liz, we're glad you think so! DO come back and visit us often.

    I love my Seeker sisters. The entertainment is never ending.

    And of course they all still love me despite my verbal disability. LOL!

    Hope you had a great day. You made ours. :-)

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  93. Mary, that is a riot about Adobe. I remember this voice-to-text software I tried once would TOTALLY misinterpret what I said.

    I said into the voice recognition software microphone, "My To Do List for the Day."

    It typed, "Montana Invaded Germany Today."

    My sister and I would sit for HOURS and speak normal things into it then HOWL with laughter at the completely wrong interpretation that it would type.

    I mean, some of the words sounded NOTHING alike.

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  94. Shannon, the WORST ones always happen in church, huh? Or out of the mouths of pastors. LOL.

    A local, loved pastor of a church I used to attend has a speech impairment and can't say "concubines" so he calls them "cucumbers."

    It was always fun to see the expressions on faces of newcomers the first time they heard it. We all knew what he meant, but newcomers hadn't learned his word substitutions yet.

    I wish I could remember his others.

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  95. Love the teacher who thought New Mexico was a foreign country! LOL!

    Oh, I hate "warsh." I've only known a couple of people who say it that way. We had a preacher who would say "chilren" without the "d". That was so annoying, but I remember having a sick fascination with watching him say that and wondering how he could not hear himself!!! Aargh! I was always a stickler for correct pronunciation. Which is why it is so embarrassing when I pronounce something wrong! Those memories are burned in my memory. And no, I don't want to share them! LOL

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  96. On that comment about Tosca Lee, I think you meant to say cannibal instead of carnivore. LOL ;-)

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  97. Tina, I hear you on the texting and smart phoones. I CANNOT get the auto-correct function to shut off on my phone and it ALWAYS changes words to something else AS it's sending the e-mail. So frustrating, yet funny.

    The people on the receiving ends of those e-mails are hopefully reading this post so they don't think I'm a total nincompoop.

    Or should I say scat can?

    Being an RN, I will forever laugh at that one.

    Boy, do I have stories from when I worked at the hospital. Most I can't tell due to patient confidentiality. Way funny stuff patients said while under the duress of labor pain or Demerol. LOL.
    LOL.

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  98. I love the stories my problem is I tend to misread words so some I got the correct word instead of the error.
    I tend to mix up words my self.
    but I was thinking and call it the Aussie connection but

    When I was in Canada I was with my friend on the bus to Pemberton near Whistler. We were in the front as we pass the place they play Ice Hockey in vancouver home of the Canucks. I was saying so thats where the Canucks play and they burst out laughing. I was saying can nucs Well every time I tried to get it right Ca naks, I was saying it like it was written They stirred me about it the whole trip and then would try to get me to say other canadian words. Must say it was a fun trip. I have a Canucks flag now too.
    But I can say Melbourne!

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  99. ps thanks for the peeps looking forward to tasting them.

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  100. Hi Cheryl

    What a fab post! I chuckled reading your slip up (and those of all the other brave posters) – but let’s face it, without funny things like this, life would be pretty dull!

    Here’s my story (actually, it’s a friend’s, but I have her permission to share it):

    My friend had been queuing up for hours to meet a famous author she really admired. She had a copy of his book and was eager to speak to him and get it signed. Eventually, the queue whittled down, it was her turn to meet him and she stepped up to the desk…only to go completely blank! She couldn’t think of a word to say to the guy!

    Desperately searching for inspiration she glanced down at his desk and then mumbled … “Um, haven’t you got a lot of pens…” Doh! She was so embarrassed! The author gave her a funny look, signed her book and she was on her way. Although the author was pretty nice about it, it was hardly the impression she’d hoped to make. But it’s given us a great giggle over the years! :-)

    Love and blessings,
    Nicola

    nicolak3(at)gmail(dot)com

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  101. Cheryl, if you ever give a speech let me know and I'll fly half way across the country to hear it! Great post. I can't stop laughing.

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  102. I'm chimin' in late this evening, but had to join the others in telling you how HILARIOUS this post was!! LOVE that you shared this "trait" so openly...and I must confess I also experience this quite a bit myself (but thought it was just MOI !!). Something else we have in common (besides our love of squirrels, LOL!!). ~ Hugs, Patti Jo ;)

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  103. Sarah, LOL! I bet you're great fun when you're slap happy in the evenings. Come to Seekerville and comment before bedtime! LOL.

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  104. Jackie, THANK YOU! I am the world's worst multitasker, so I would totally have myself in a mess if I tried to answer phones like that. LOL!

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  105. Lyn, ROFLOLOL! I have never in my life heard of someone with your unique problem. I'm totally fashioning a character trait after you. LOL! Thanks for coming by and sharing.

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  106. Casey, too funny! I'll bet the bride remembers that still to this day. Thanks for the laugh! I'm glad I'm not alone. I had no idea there'd be so many of you like me.
    WhEEEEEEEEEE! LOL.

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  107. Teri, OH, don't even get me started about the things I've messed up in other languages and in other countries. LOL!

    I had not a clue how vastly different common gestures can be from country to country. I got my hand SLAPPED once in an orphanage in South India because I waved a child over...and apparently that's akin to giving someone the finger here in America. LOL!

    I could go on for days! Blogger would crash. LOL!

    I was starting an emergent IV on a migrant worker who could not speak English and who was VERY close to having a baby...without the doctor and without her husband present.

    I grew up speaking fluent conversational Spanish, but medical Spanish is more formal and the phrasing is sometimes different.

    Apparently I kept telling her that she would feel beans go up her arm as I started the infusion.

    I thought I was saying "cold." LOL!

    Frijo and Frijoles...too close for comfort.

    LOL.

    I have so many other stories, it makes me miss working with the migrant women. I can't imagine how absolutely frightening it would be to be in a foreign country, unable to speak one word of their language and go into premature labor or some other medical emergency.

    I guess it's good that smiles, hand-holding and hugs are the same in any language.

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  108. Audra, LOL! Hopefully there will be no cataract arrests here today from an overdoes of laughing. Too funny.

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  109. Sandra, how sweet that you offered us your last oranges!

    I'm glad we brought laughter to your day. Praying!

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  110. Sheri, my sides and face are hurting too. I love laughing though and making others laugh. So it's probably a good thing that God gave me this verbal disability. LOL!

    Yeesh, I almost typed my self-diagnosed disorder in initials only but decided against it the second I figured out it would read VD. LOL! Yikes.

    Thanks for coming by!

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  111. Vince, that is a riot! I'll bet you were a hilarious teacher. Never a dull moment in that class, I bet.

    Glad you stopped by!

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  112. Helen, those are so funny! So glad you shared as much as you did. They were all great! Thank you for the stream of chuckles.

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  113. Tina, like you, I LOLd at Helen's chicks and tiggers. LOLOLOL!

    So cute, the phrasing. Helen, what an endearing quirk! I'll bet there are others just as funny...so fess up. LOL!

    Thanks gals for being real and sharing. I don't know when I've laughed so long and so hard in one day.

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  114. Virginia, DO come back and tell us your goof-ups. Make us all feel better. LOL!

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  115. Mia, I'm LOVING the missionary bloopers. That could be a book by itself. LOL!

    Thanks for sharing. I'm certain that between you and Walt and Virginia and Valri and all the others and the mispeaks they're probably thinking of but have yet to mention, we could go on laughing for another hundred comments. LOL!

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  116. Denise, PLEASE tell me it wasn't mine. LOLOL!

    I have had two wrong word usages that I'm aware of, make it into print. LOL! I do it SO much, my editors & critters can't possibly catch them all. LOL.

    Yes, unforunately, Spell Check does NOT flag wrong word usage most of the time because I'm so good at spelling the misused word correctly. LOL!

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  117. Walt, THAT was funny!

    Get back here and share the others! LOL.

    The only word that's coming to mind with what you said is one word rather than two though...you would not believe the words my mind went through before landing on what I think is the right one.

    Too funny.

    Thanks for stepping up to the challenge today. Nice job!

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  118. Kav, that's horrible about Penquin. Now I don't feel nearly as bad. LOL!

    Did your office mate ever figure out why you were laughing? LOL.

    Thanks for coming by!

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  119. Aaron, did you get that Blooper Book proposal finished yet? You have at least three chapters of material here so far. LOL!

    Get to work on it or I'll have to sick the mean Mary C on you...

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  120. Mary C, you are positively a riot. I'm serious when I say that you are THE funniest woman on the face of the planet. NO ONE is funnier than you.

    EVERYTHING you say makes me laugh. Everything. I love you and love having you in my life. Love it!

    Your humor and quick wit is a gift. Go use it to torment Aaron until he finishes the Big Book of Seekervillain Bloopers.

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  121. Pepper, that sounds like something I would do! LOL. Love the sense of humor the applicant displayed... and the courage to use it. LOL!

    Thanks for sharing! Very funny.

    Good to see you!

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  122. Jeanette!!! YOU GO GIRL! LOL. Totally dig you for coming here today and owning up to that WWU. LOL! That one was beyond funny. I can easily imagine your mortification when they told you what the word meant. LOL!

    Now that you did the dare, BUG the daylights out of your instructor until he finishes the WWU blooper book that I have assigned to him. ;-)

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  123. Valri! I knew you'd make it by. Thank you!

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  124. BTW Valri, you can't recall them probably because we block traumatic events from our mind. LOL! I WISH I could block them from mine but I do it nearly as often as I breathe. So forgetting is not possible. LOL!

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  125. Melanie, LOL! No, carnivore was actually my deliberate word choice because I hate writing in cliche's and everyone would expect me to use the other word. LOL!

    Plus, Tosca would get a kick out of it. LOL!

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  126. Jenny, LOL on Canucks. I had NO idea they were pronounced that way either.

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  127. Nicola, I agree that everyone has been SO brave in posting. I'm glad because I about laughed my head off today. It's good to laugh. Especially at someone else's expense. LOL! Kidding.

    LOL on your friend's experience. Being VERY shy, I do the same thing. I wonder if it ever occurs to fans that authors struggle with clamming up at booksignings sometimes too. LOL! There's nothing like an awkward silence or impulsively fumbled words...totally like me to do it.

    I felt that way when I met Francine Rivers one year at ACFW. I opened my mouth to speak and NOTHING would come out. Not one word. The poor thing was so gracious and I just stood there like a guppy out of water. LOL!

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  128. Cara, sure thing! LOL! THAT would be a fun trip for me, too. I'd get to be with you! And torment you with HOURS of WWUs. LOL.

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  129. Patti, I KNEW we were friends for more than rodent-ary reasons.

    Yes, I just made that word up...but look at the time. LOL!

    I'd LOVE to hear some of yours, I'll bet they are a hoot.

    Cheryl

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  130. Everyone, THANK YOU for making this such a fun day. I think my stomach muscles got a good work-out today.

    To anyone I might have missed addressing directly, I'm so sorry! We love your readership and support of our blog.

    We hope you enjoy our books just as well.

    Thanks everyone, for participating!

    I will give this a couple more days and then draw the seven winners' names Thursday night. They will be announced in our upcoming Weekend Edition.

    Night all!

    Sleep dreams and don't let the WWUs bite. LOL!

    C

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  131. OH MY WORD! I did NOT just type that.

    Oh dear, I thought I would get by without a WWU typo but NOOOO...

    At the last second I had to type SLEEP instead of SWEET!

    Yes, duh, Cheryl. MOST people have to sleep in order to dream. LOL!

    YEEEESH!

    There HAS to be some kind of pill I can take to combat this. LOL!

    Night all.

    SWEET dreams.

    {Penelope Paranoid double checks to be sure she didn't type "SWEAT")

    Adiose!

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  132. Laughed until I cried! Then laughed some more!

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  133. ROFL, Tina. Thanks. What would I do without you?

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  134. Carrie, glad I could be of service to you. LOL!

    Everyone, check out Debby's GREAT post today.

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  135. O My Word! This is sooo funny! I read it to my mom.

    The word slip-ups I've had aren't very funny, but I have a friend who CANNOT remember words. Such as...

    Geography for Geometry
    Bahama or Osama for Obama
    Kaboozie for Gazebo
    Camelot for Kamla

    Thats all I can remember, but she really does this all the time!

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  136. LOL! Thanks, Carman. LOVE your name. :-)

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  137. Late to the party... but, Cheryl, that was hilarious. It has been a long week for me and we are just halfway through. Anyways, I needed that post. And...

    I can so relate to it. My problem seems to be spoonerisms.

    A couple of years ago, during Decoration, my husband and I had just left my mother's and brother's graves, when I saw my SIL's parents walking through the cemetery and I told my husband, "Look. There's Jug and Dane." He paused, gave me a peculiar look and then said "Honey, don't you mean Doug and Jane."

    Other people's names I have flubbed:

    My neighbors, Steve and Sheila, but I said Sheve and Steila.

    My sis and BIL, Pat and Ricky, I said...yep....Rat and Picky.

    There is no help for me.

    Tracy

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  138. My hubby is good at wrong word usage when he is in the pulpit. Most of the time it is in the verb area. Gets the wrong verb or helping verb. Hard for me to keep straight face when he does this.

    ABreading4fu [at] gmail [dot] com

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  139. Cheryl,
    I remember growing up that I used to say the word lingerie wrong I would pronounce it just like its spelled. We need to spell the words they way they are pronounced and then we wouldnt have this issue. We still talk about it every once in a while, at least now I know how to say it.

    Karen
    gods_princess3(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  140. Oh Lord help me. Margaret Daley posted on Facebook that she found a snake in her kitchen.

    So I *thought* I was posting back on HER Facebook a comment, "Billy says you'd have to bury him if he found one of those in his kitchen. He hates them."

    SO a few minutes later I get this notification on Facebook that I posted on a Carol someone's wall. I knew I hadn't so I went to see if someone hacked my Facebook account and posted something.

    Nope.

    Apparently, I had typed my statement in the wrong comment section. Carol had posted pics of her new grandbaby, so a comment showed up that said, "Billy says you'd have to bury him if he found one of those in his kitchen. He hates them."

    Heavens, there is NO help for me. None. LOL.

    I deleted the comment and SO hope she didn't see it.

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  141. ROFL! A couple seconds ago, my husband stands up and heads for the door announcing, "I'll be right back, I'm going to get a stripper."

    I was like, "Excuuuuse me?"

    He LOLd and lifted up a sound cable. "A stripping tool...to wire these cables."

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  142. Cheryl I would say something like your husband when it comes to tools or diy stuff i have made many errors that way.

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  143. Tracy, I forgot about spoonerisms. LOL! And hey, better late than never! Glad you stopped by.

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  144. Abi, that's funny. I bet his sermons are entertaining. LOL!

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  145. Karen, that's funny! Those kinds of words are tricky. I always stumble over "Genre." LOL! I want to say it, "Johnner" rather than JSHAWN-RA...or however it's supposed to be pronounced. LOL.

    I totally get ya. Thanks for stoppin' by!

    Hey all, check out today's post if you haven't already!

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  146. Jenny, my husband is an absolutel genious when it comes to some things...but he really does have dyslexia and is a TERRIBLE speller.

    He once had 1000 business cards made for his asphalt business.

    It read something like: "Parking Lot Stripping--30% discount for churches."

    I laughed SO hard as he toted the box to the trash to throw them away. I sneaked one out to keep it because it was so funny. He meant STRIPING...as in paint.

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  147. Oh thats funny Cheryl either way it would still read funny.
    needed that. I should be in bed asleep but its not happening but im headed back now.
    But I know recently I was stripping the floor here and I know sometimes what I said got funny looks or laughs.
    The worse is when some of the people around are not christians and there mind goes straight to the gutter when you make a slip like this.

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  148. LOL!
    Hope you enjoyed your Peeps...now don't take that the wrong way. LOLOLOL!

    Cheryl

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