Raise your hand if you’re a Southerner, eat grits or like Jeff Foxworthy. The rest of you folks don’t know what you’re missing.
Foxworthy made his name by poking fun at Rednecks.
Some of my favorite lines in his routine, include:
You think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.
You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D. And you said, 'Bout What?'
You think Possum is "The Other White Meat."
You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
(Seekerville Weekend Edition, July 16)
Today, we’re going to add a little levity to Seekerville
so dust off your creativity and get ready to have fun.
A tube of crickets you received as a wedding gift.
(Crickets come in tubes? Who knew?)
SEEKERVILLE BAIT ?
A $10 gift card to Starbucks, plus a copy of one of my books—title of your choosing.
Post your own original “You know you’re a writer if…” one-liner and add your email to be included in the drawing.
HERE WE GO!
Your list of New Year’s Resolutions not only includes your goals but also your motivation and conflict.
You never read a dictionary you didn’t like.
You dream about your WIP and wake to write down a phrase that keeps running through your head.
“Doing lunch” means editing your work while you gobble down a sandwich.
You’d rather spend time in Seekerville than with your non-writer BFF.
You read the first lines of every new book in the bookstore and made note of any agents or editors mentioned in the acknowledgements.
You turn every real life situation into a “What if!”
You never leave home without a pen and paper tucked in your pocket, purse or man bag.
You’d rather sit at your computer than ________ (fill in the activity of your choice).
You can figure out who the villain is by the third chapter of any book you read.
Your Christmas Wish List includes the latest How-To Writing book.
You break down every movie you see into 3 Acts and Turning Points.
Your kids know eating pizza 5 nights in a row means mom’s on deadline.
Your kids get tired of pizza after ordering delivery 5 nights in a row.
You jot down snippets of conversations you overhear at Starbucks.
You openly talk in public about how you killed hubby.
You take notes when police chase scenes run on the nightly news.
You spell sassy SASE.
You check caller ID for a New York area code every time the phone rings.
You break down in tears when the kids bring in the mail and say you’ve got a big envelope from the editor who’s had your manuscript for over a year.
You ask your pharmacist the easiest way to poison someone.
(Not the editor, of course.)
The history listing on your laptop includes “How to Make a Bomb” and “Meth for Beginners.”
You’ve never met a cop you didn’t want to interview.
At writing conferences, you realize the women (age 23-27) wearing black and hiding their name tags are all New York editors.
The first section you look at in the Sunday newspaper is the bestsellers’ list.
Rejection means more than a boyfriend dumped you.
“Your baby” refers to 400 pages of Courier New.
Your family vacations each summer in the locale you’ve selected for your next book.
You know query means more than a question.
Along with the dust bunnies under the bed, you’ve also shoved five completed manuscripts rejected by a wide-range of editors, who you call names I won't mention.
You know you can’t judge a book by its cover.
Your flying body parts are never bloody.
You go to work in a T-shirt and sweat pants.
You know voice has nothing to do with singing.
You end everything with a HEA.
Wishing you abundant blessings,
Visit me online at firstname.lastname@example.org
Join my Cross My Heart Prayer Team and blog with me at http://www.crossmyheartprayerteam.blogspot.com/
THE OFFICER'S SECRET
Military Investigations Series Book One
Steeple Hill Love Inspired Suspense