Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Skunk Marketing by Cheryl Wyatt & Giveaway!



Seth Godin has Tribes, Jay Conrad Levinson has Guerrilla Marketing, Randy Ingermanson has Tiger Marketing, Brian Halligan and Dharmesh Shah have Inbound Marketing and I have...

(Drum roll please)

Skunk Marketing.

Well, at least some of the time.



What is Skunk Marketing?

It is the most expedient way to repel industry professionals. LOL!

Most people suffer from blonde moments. I suffer from blonde months. Really, I live a blonde life. I’ve been blonde since I was born. ‘Nuff said. If you are offended by blonde jokes and behavior, read no further.

But if you suffer from Blonde Moments, read on! This post is bound make you feel better because you can’t possibly have pulled something as ditzy as the following Skunk marketing tricks.

• Walk into a Barnes and Noble store and ask the manager (who knows you are a local author) how their Kindle sales are going. OH yes, I did.

For extra credit, do this while standing inches away from their Nook table. Yes, I did that too! Pathetic, I know. FYI: I MEANT to say Nook. Talk about blank stares and confounded blinks.

• Respond to a Harlequin Higher-Up’s request for a publicity photo for your New York BEA signing with: “Don’t worry about it. In fact, don’t worry about anything but pray about everything. Make your requests known to God. He’s taking care of it. Hugs!” to which you will likely receive a firm response back, “Yes, while that’s a nice sentiment, we need your 300dbi publicity photo by the end of the work day today please.” Which made me realize I’d responded initially to the WRONG email. A friend’s prayer request sat right below the email from the Harlequin rep and something shifted in my e-mail list and I thought I was responding to my friend’s prayer request but the response went to the Harlequin rep who needed my publicity photo stat. LOL! Thankfully the folks at Harlequin have great (and gracious!) senses of humor.

• Type in a weird XOXOXO code mixed with funny random symbols on the eHarlequin message boards, thinking you’re loaning those letters to someone with broken Exes and Ohs on their keyboard. I shut the eHarlequin boards down for three days. They still bought my books! LOL. But one of the first things Joan Golan said to me when meeting me in person at an ACFW conference was, “Oh, yes! You’re known as Squirrel and you’re the one who shut our eHarlequin boards down for days!” LOLOL.

• Don’t accidentally (or, God forbid!, on purpose) hand a male editor your room key instead of your business card by mistake after a novel pitch. In my defense, I had my laminated business cards in the same neck badge slot as my key. Honest mistake. I still sweated bullets rushing around trying to find him to explain myself though!

• Don’t attempt to rush out an email response to an editorial assistant while being wheeled quickly into surgery. My phone’s autocorrect function changed “Editorial Assistant” to “Editorial Assassin” because of a mistype on my part due to rushing.

YES, unfortunately, I did every one of those things.



But, here are a few that others I know did:

• Be consistently one week late getting books returned to libraries and never bring chocolate to make up for the fact that your puppy chewed the corners off three in-demand hardbacks. ~ Anonymous Writer Pal

• This from our very own Mary Connealy: "I once was on a book tour with about nine signings in six days. Really intense, busy time. which was okay, I wanted to keep busy. It was me, MaryLu Tyndall, Kaye Dacus and Christine Lynxwilder.

I was driving the car and the other authors were passengers (okay, hostages, let's be honest).

I drove about twenty miles to the carefully mapped out location of a special non-booksigning get together with some area authors and we got to where my map led and it wasn't the restaurant we were supposed to meet at, it was a bookstore. And there was the poster in the window about our signing and ...someone said, "'This is where we had the signing last night.'"

My overloaded brain had to churn along for a while before I realized she was right. Then we had to drive FORTY miles in the opposite direction, okay maybe it only seemed like forty, I don't know, to get to the lovely ladies who wanted to meet us about a half hour late. Fortunately Christine had her own car and went herself, so she was there to be friendly while they waited as I and my crew wandered, Israeli-like in the wilderness for forty miles.

So embarrassing. I still cringe. It was my map. I was so sure I knew what I was doing. And I know BETTER to ever think I know what I'm doing.
The lesson learned? Never believe in myself. It's as if God is looking for a chance to keep me humble (heaven knows I make it easy for Him)."


"Also, I once had a signing during a Nebraska Cornhuskers football game, a Saturday afternoon. You could hear the crickets chirping in that book store. The manager and cashiers were even watching the game. Learned a lesson there. In a contest between me and the Cornhuskers....I am totally sacked." ~ Mary Connealy


• This from Janet Dean: "My agent, Karen Solem called this fall and said, “'This is Karen.'” I said something like “Which Karen?” Embarrassing when I knew she’d subbed my proposal to Tina James at LIH. But not funny. Just add me to the list of clueless." ~Janet Dean

WHEW, Mary and Janet, I'm glad I'm not alone on Skunk Island, here in the Seekerville Keys.



Soooo, Friends of Seekerville, it's YOUR TURN. Have you done, said, written, e-mailed, Skyped, Facebooked, Tweeted or typed anything embarrassing to industry professionals in a marketing or pitch attempt?

Let's hear it!

And your favorite Christmas ornament if you don't have an embarrassing moment. Since Jesus got three gifts on His birthday, I'm giving away three gifts today! All you have to do to be entered is leave a comment. Please leave your e-mail address too. Deadline will be tomorrow at noon, CST. Winners will be announced in Seekerville's next Weekend Edition.




I wanted to give away a cute little destinkered skunk too, but my Seeker Sisters dissuaded me. LOL! Instead, I'm giving away these three prizes to three commenters (one prize each):

--A Christmas ornament
--A copy of Steadfast Soldier (My June Love 2010 Inspired)
--three-in-one Steeple Hill Amish Christmas book collection

If you have a preference of one of the above three, number your preference or say that in the comments too.

PS..NO SKUNK MARKETING! LOL!

Comment away and Merry Marketing...errr Christmas!

Cheryl Wyatt

82 comments :

  1. Coffee. Tea. Hot chocolate. Milk. They're all ready.

    I've done and said a lot of 'skunky' things, but don't know what I've done that an industry professional might have found stinky. I'm not bold enough to do too much.

    Would prefer Steadfast Soldier.


    Hele

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  2. No skunky moments (at least not to speak of.) :))

    My favorite Christmas ornament is one of my son as a baby. His eyes were huge and he looked super serious.

    I'd love to win the ornament. So nice of you!

    Merry Christmas!

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  3. Hi Cheryl im still laughing with you at the editorial assassin, Its good to know how you got your nickname too.
    No skunky things with professionals. Oh and I have a cute skunk that sings How sweet it is to loved by you.

    My favourite ornament thats a hard one. I love a couple of ones we have had over 50 years that are glass balls. we had three till a few years a go and we have one glass bird left its red.

    I love my bear angel I got in Hawaii, and a coupole of bears for operation Santa that supports the american troops.
    Oh today mum got some from one of her angels and there were silver snowflakes they are so cool.

    I would love to be entered for the 3 in one amish book. I have your book and I dont need the ornament (even if it is pretty it may not travel here well)

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  4. Great blog post! I loved the room key/ business card! The only skunky thing I've done so far is actually mail off a requsted three chapters to Avalon books, in response to my query. THEN I saw the cover letter on my table! They sent a very nice letter asking for the whole MS and just called it my 'as yet untitled' work. (Oh, that was before I got my Seeker critique that said my contact info needed to be at the top of the first page also. That probably would have saved me some grief...) I still haven't heard anything but at least the cover letter went with it this time!

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  5. Oh Cheryl, she said, wiping tears... So funny... Laughing at blonde months.

    And your humble Seeker Sisters, still smilin'

    :)

    I'm not pubbed and haven't attended enough events to embarrass myself- yet! My time is coming tho!

    We do have skunks in the flesh here though, and one has a little part in my WIP...

    Ornament - we have collected memories through ornaments so there are many faves but since the Elf on a Shelf books are big right now, I do have an "original" from wayyyyyy back when.

    Would love to have a "Seeker" ornament! May at maythek9spy dot com

    Helen, I'll have a bit of the hot chocolate please. It smells SO delicious!

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  6. What a fun post!
    My favorite Christmas ornament is one my daughter made in kindergarten. The kids all made wreaths and the teacher took each child's picture, which was placed in the center of their wreath. My daughter is 32, but I still hang that on my fridge every year.

    I'd like a copy of Steadfast Soldier.

    edwina(dot)cowgill(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  7. Sigh -- I suppose that a spew alert was understood but I've never been the sharpest knife in the drawer so I blithely went on reading. Now I have to de-oatmeal the dog before I leave for work or he'll throw his back out trying to lick off all that cinnamonny brown sugar flavour off his back. If my boss asks why I'm late I'm holding this blog post hostage as exhibit A.

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  8. Cheryl, what a hoot! Blondes are not the only ones with *blonde* moments. Though I haven't been around long enough to have skunk marketing moments, I've had enough embarassing mis-speaks over the years to last a lifetime.

    I tend to hear comments just a click off. For example, a couple of our agents at work were talking about a recent meeting they'd had on campus. I came in on the tail end and heard them say there was a problem.

    "What's wrong with science and Islam?" I asked for clarification.

    Carol shook her head. "They won't let us put political SIGNS on our LAWNS."

    That, my friends, is one of the tamer mis-hears I've had.

    Needless to say, the office is probably pitching in get a Beltone Deluxe model for me, LOL!

    Do we think I'm a prime candidate for Skunk Marketing as time goes on?? Cheryl, let's revisit this post a year from now...

    Merry Christmas, everyone!

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  9. Morning Cheryl, How funny your skunk moments are. I'm sure many of us have had them and didn't even know it. That's the worst.

    My favorite skunk moment to tell about is my first submission. This was before I'd joined RWA and years before ACFW existed. But after I wrote my first novel I wanted to submit it. So in the guidelines it said "No multiple submissions and send a sample chapter."

    Well I thought multiple submissions meant not more than one manuscript at a time to the publisher. So I took my novel and sent chapter one to one publisher, chapter two to another, chapter three to another, and so on. I was horrified when I joined RWA and found out what that guideline really meant.

    Thanks Cheryl, Have a great day all of you.

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  10. Cheryl,

    Cute post! Since, I don't really have a story about a faux paux with an editor or agent....yet I will share a story that happened to me last week. You all should know that I've been a brunette my entire life and my husband recently asked me if I was really a blond!

    In South Dakota you now need four official documents to renew your driver's license. Last week, I was trying to round up the documents but couldn't find my SS card. Now, one document was my passport, which I'd gotten out of the safe(this is important). I searched every drawer in my file cabinet, every wallet and purse I own-even though I haven't carried the card in years. I finally gave up and called the SS office to see if I could get a replacement card and what I had to do to get it. After two days of bemoaning how could I lose it, my husband opened the safe and said, "Are you sure it's not in there." SO, I look again and there it is out in the open on the shelf right above....my passport! How on earth did I miss it?????

    Merry Christmas!

    RRossZediker at yahoo dot com

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  11. Oh, wow. I haven't laughed so hard in a while. I don't think I've done anything humiliating in the writing world (yet), but in real life? All the time.

    For instance, one morning after church as people are streaming out the foyer, I'm introducing this guy (whom I'd been seeing for two weeks) to everyone --- by the wrong name. He finally leans over and, with a distinct lack of humor on his face, corrects me.

    Yap.

    Didn't get asked back out.

    Would love a copy of Steadfast Soldier! Thanks for the giveaway, and have a Merry Christmas!

    -Emily
    hendrickson_emily(at)hotmail(dot)com

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  12. Cheryl, I thought you were talking about the fact I need to get my roots covered. I always refer to myself as a skunk these last days before my hair appt!

    Thanks for the laugh this morning. I was up for the lunar eclipse and needed something to wake me up.

    Oh, Audra, your book kept me awake in between moon gazings. Consider that a MAJOR compliment.

    I don't have a marketing story. But I do remember calling someone on my cell and having this really indepth conversation up until the point I said, "what a minute, you're not X" and she said,"what? you aren't Y???" We totally thought we each were someone else but just had been chatting so happily...

    I have read the books and loved em so I am in for the ornament.

    Eggnog french toast this morning with homemade sausage!

    Peace to all, Julie

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  13. OMIGOSH, CHERYL, NO!!!! Three days??? You shut the E-HQ message board for three days??? WOW ... VERY Impressive!! But my favorite STILL has to be the Editorial Assassin, although the prayer advice sent to HQ instead of your picture is a close second -- priceless!!

    When you asked for samples of skunk marketing from each of us, I thought to myself -- mmmm, I'm pretty good because I can't think of anything really awful I ever did as an author, although I'm pretty darn sure my agent could write a book ...

    But I guess God doesn't want me to get too cocky, because in reading your post this morning, I suddenly remembered a tiny snafu I made as a travel writer in a printed Program of Events booklet where I was describing the shores of Kauai with the line: Kauai has some of the most beautiful whores in the world. Fortunately, the printer caught it in time ...

    Another time in a job where I was responsible for printing all the company stationery and embossing/printing logos on client stationery, instead of telling the printer I wanted the client logo gold-stamped in the lower left corner of a 9x12 envelope, I actually drew a picture of the logo (which was a picture of an open book, I believe) in the lower left-hand corner to show the printer where to place the logo. Yep, you guessed it -- the next day I received a beautiful box of envelopes gold-stamped with my hokey artwork in the corner instead of the client logo. Sigh.

    But I had to laugh at Mary's driving-related snafu because Mary's actually a little more dangerous in a car than she is even in her books. No, nobody gets shot, mind you, but if you find yourself visiting Omaha and Mary picks you for lunch, uh ... you may want to walk. Unless, that is, if you enjoy thrill rides such as traveling down a one-way street in downtown Omaha the wrong way ... twice. :)

    Fun, fun post today, Cheryl -- thanks for making me laugh.

    Hugs,
    Julie

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  14. Spew alert needed!

    I shot Helen's hot chocolate all over my keyboard.

    I can't think of any gaffs right now, but it's still early in the day. Maybe it's worse when everybody else knows about my Skunk Marketing while I'm still clueless! Ack!!!

    (Great chocolate, btw, Helen. The marshmallows added just the right touch!)

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  15. Morning Seekers and FoS.

    I've not had any skunky moments with those in the industry. Yet. I'm sure I will. And I can't think of any off the top...

    Oh. Wait. EEP.

    Last December, we had a special guest in church on a Sunday morning. DH and I work in the nursery 2xs a month and this was one of those days. We usually had 4-6 babies [right now we have 1-2].

    This particular day though, the guest appealed to a young marrieds type group. We had 18. Yes. EIGHTEEN babies [6 weeks-walking]. By the time it was all said and done we had 10 workers in there with us [we try to keep a 2-1 ratio].

    So we have all these babies that none of us know and somehow, totally my fault but I'm still not sure how, I got two of the babies mixed up. I gave a bottle to Baby 1 that was supposed to go to the other. He ate about 5oz of an 8oz bottle and it wasn't until later that I realized the mistake - when we were looking for Baby 2's bag to feed him. Fortunately, there was more formula in the bag so we cleaned the bottle out and made a new one.

    But the biggest problem?

    Baby 1 didn't take bottles. He was solely breastfed. I sat in a corner [where I was holding babies anyway] and cried as I told the nursery director that I'd mixed the babies/bags up somehow and given a bottle to the wrong one.

    She stood next to me while I told the mom [she offered but it was my screw up]. The mom was like 'HE TOOK A BOTTLE?! PRAISE GOD!' She hadn't been able to get him to take one ever so she hadn't had a break from him at all since he was born about 6mos earlier. He was also her 3rd or 4th kiddo and, *in our experience*, moms tend to lighten up a bit with more kids - a first time mom might not have been so understanding.

    The other mom was very understanding as well. And we offered her a can of formula that someone had donated because I'd used the last of what she had in the bag to make the second bottle and if they weren't going straight home...

    Both of them were very kind and reassured me that they weren't upset and it really was okay.

    Of course, neither of them came back either ;).

    They were just there for the special guest so that's to be expected but still...

    Yeah. Skunky.

    Oh - and I sent the wrong file to the Hook Me contest and got counted off for having my contact info in it but ah well. The bottle thing was worse.

    I'd love either book but I'm in a 'lights only' phase right now so...

    carol at carolmoncado dot com

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  16. Okay, Emily, that takes the cake!!!

    ROFLOL!!

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  17. Oh, Cheryl, those are all so funny. I'm having another big laugh over them. Thanks for being willing to share you embarrassing moments. I now feel better over how I got diarrhea of the mouth the first time I pitched a book at a conference. That poor editor (who's now one of the higher ups at Harlequin) had to cut me off. Very nicely, of course. But I was so embarrassed!! I quickly learned that with my nerves, I needed to write down my pitch so I wouldn't sit there and tell the whole story in rambling fashion. LOL

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  18. What fun examples!! you're all cracking me up now.

    Virginia, you just reminded me that I sent in a completed book to my editor without page numbers!!! I didn't realize it until after I mailed. I just prayed and prayed that she never dropped those pages!! And I made sure the first thing I did was add the numbers when I was doing the revisions. :)

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  19. Yes, I went the wrong way on a one way street...twice...with Julie.

    But we were TALKING!!!!

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  20. Helen, thanks for doing the coffee up right!

    Appreciate you stopping by. Got you entered for SS.

    Cheryl

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  21. Cheryl, that ornament sounds adorable. Would love to see a picture of it!

    Thanks for coming by. Got you entered.

    Cheryl

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  22. Jenny, I think I know which bears you mean. My dad and mom got a set for each of my girls.

    Got you down as entered! Thanks for stopping by.

    Cheryl

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  23. Virginia, LOL on the submission boo-boo. It happens.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Got you as entered. Any preference?

    Thanks,
    Cheryl

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  24. KC, LOL! Glad to have given you the gift of giggles this morning.

    You're entered!
    Cheryl

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  26. This isn't exactly something I did wrong, HOWEVER, my very first book signing EVER I sort of 'threw in' with some guy I'd never heard of doing a signing in Sioux City, IA.

    I just went to the store and introduced myself to the manager and told him I was an area author and if he did signings at the store, I'd love to do one sometime.

    He said they were having a signing already and sometimes TWO authors are better than one. So would I like to do the signing WITH the guy?

    Uh...duh....I dunno. (Yes, i was as charming and scintillating as ever)

    So they called the guy, whose name is Bob Vander Plaats and he was the candidate for Iowa Lieutenant Governor in the election just finished, he lost. (I might have the details wrong, I don't follow Iowa politics)

    So I show up that day and just absolutely clueless.

    I've got nuthin' no book marks, no candy, no small talk ideas and just generally no clue.

    And here comes Bob. He's got this SIGN. like 3 x 4 feet, on an easel, he's got a CREW. TV cameras show up. They're selling books so fast the manager can hardly keep up, hauliing, hauling, hauling, running back and forth to get more armloads of books while Bob talks and talks and talks.

    I'm sitting at the same table, with my tidy stack of copies of Petticoat Ranch in front of me and people are all lined up to buy Bob's book.

    :(

    At one point someone said to me, "Are you Bob's wife?"

    For which I can only say, "I'm sorry Mrs. Vander Plaat."

    I've got a sneaking suspicion I am possessed of a huge POTENTIAL for ego-mania. Because God is so diligent in humbling me.

    BTW, Bob wrote a book called "Light from Lucas" about what he'd learned from having a disabled child.

    It was a lovely book.

    And I was able to dust the foot prints off myself from being trampled by the hoards coming to see him, so no harm was done.

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  27. Cheryl, this is too funny. I had a dream last night with a skunk in it. It ran around the church building before someone grabbed it buy its tail and hauled it outside. Not sure who the idiot was who grabbed the skunk by the tail. Nor why the skunk didn't skunk him.

    All that matters is I survived my dream without being stinky, skunk-handling fool. Instead I was standing on a pew watching the whole escapade while everyone else ran from the building.

    Hmm.

    I was a bit proud of my dream-self for not being a coward like the rest, but not only was I a coward for not wrangling the skunk, I stuck around making myself a target for stinkage.

    I'd made a funny facial expression in horror of realizing my dream-stupidity, but doing so would cause my face to wrinkle. Gina's Beauty Tip #1: Stay looking young, don't smile, frown, scowl, or grimace. Rely on tone of voice to convey all emotions.

    One of my skunk marketing moments was when after I'd finaled in the Golden Heart, I e-mailed an agent who'd I sent my stuff to prior to finaling. Since I hadn't heard anythign, I figured I ought to see if there was any interest before querying other agents.

    Long story short: Terry Burns of Hartline Literary Agency is NOT a grandmother. Grandfather, yes.

    Which just goes to show a writer should always do her research to confirm the gender of the agent she's querying. Umm, purely platonic research, of course.

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  28. Edwina, those homemade ones are the best! Amazing how they hold up through the years.

    You're entered. Thanks for stopping by!

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  29. Kav, LOL! I've always wanted to be part of an evidence exibit somehow. Now's my chance! LOL.

    Thanks for stopping by.

    You're entered.
    Cheryl

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  30. Audra, ROFL! I can SO hear you saying that too.

    Still laughing,
    Cheryl

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  31. Sandra, LOL! Glad I'm not alone.

    Thanks for sharing,
    Cheryl

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  32. Rose, LOL! Sounds like my husband. Only he'd be the one looking and I'd be finding it right under his nose. LOL!

    He's awesome at nearly everything. Except keeping track of paperwork. LOL

    Thanks for coming by!

    Cheryl

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  33. Emily, that is hilarious!!!! I think yours is funnier than mine. LOLOL!

    Thanks for the laugh and for sharing.

    Hugs
    Cheryl

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  34. By the way, everyone commenting gets automatically entered. Just letting you all know in case I forget to mention it in response to your post.

    Hugs all!
    Cheryl

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  35. Julie, we couldn't see the eclipse because it was too cloudy. Bummer!

    ROFL on the cell faux paus. I have done that before on more than one occasion. Normally the other person is completely silent though. LOL! Probably working through confusion. Thanks for sharing! Too funny...

    THANKS for bringing breakfast! I forgot! LOLOL. Terrible host I am this morning...letting everyone go hungry!

    Thanks for bailing me out!

    GGG.

    Cheryl

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  36. Julie L, LOL on your agent being able to write a book. I can only imagine.

    Thanks for sharing!
    Cheryl

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  37. Pam, I can think of a phone incident at ACFW...but I will let you tell that one. LOLOL!

    Isn't Helen's cocoa sublime!


    MMMMM!
    C

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  38. Carol, ROFL on the "lights only" phase. Never heard it put like that. I like it!

    Oh man, eighteen babies! I'm surprised you had time to feed them AT ALL. LOL!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Cheryl

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  39. Missy, I forgot about yours! LOL. I should have included it in today's post.

    Thanks for reminding me! I really don't feel alone now with all these other intelligent Seekers having their skunky moments. LOL!

    C

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  40. Mary, ROFL! Remind me NEVER to ride anywhere with you. LOLOL.

    C

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  41. The great thing about these slip ups is that they can provide so much amusement later! lol

    I would love to be entered to win the three-in-one Steeple Hill Amish Christmas book collection. My Mother in Law and I both love to share books!

    julia(at)betweenthepage(dot)com

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  42. Mary, on second thought, let me ride somewhere with you. I bet it would be nothing but miles of laughter.

    C

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  43. Mary, ROFL on the book signing disaster. That's an entirely new post altogether. I'll bet lots of authors have stories they could tell if we did a post solely on that.

    LOL! Thanks for sharing. It couldn't have happened to a nicer (or funnier!) person. LOLOL!
    C

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  44. Cheryl, thanks for the hilarious blond moments! Ah, months. LOL I keep chuckling about that room key/business card switch.

    My favorite ornament is glass with a miniature Holy family inside that we've had all our married life. Whenever I see it on the tree, I zip back to the days of our first Christmases, first home, first baby--twice since no baby comes in second. :-) That ornament is a reminder of all those exciting new beginnings with God in the center.

    Janet

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  45. Gina, ROFL on your skunk marketing moment! LOL! Terry got a good laugh out of that I'll bet. Too funny.

    Cheryl

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  46. Thou Art Jules (cute name!), that's how I look at it. I learned to laugh at myself long ago. It's a good thing considering all the times I embarrass myself being me. LOL!
    Cheryl

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  47. Janet, awww! Love the ornament story. I'd love to see a picture of it.

    Thanks for coming by,
    C

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  48. Laughing hysterically. That's all I have to say. Oh - and Steadfast Soldier sounds GOOD.
    joanne(at)joannesher(dot)com

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  49. Joanne, thanks for coming by. Glad you got a laugh out of it.

    Got you entered,
    C

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  50. Hey all, there's fresh food on the breakfast buffet!

    Grab some of Helen's hot cocoa too.

    Cheryl

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  51. Yep, Cheryl, Terry did get a good laugh out of it. Great guy! However he did pass my submission on to another agent. LOL.

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  52. Hi Cheryl:

    You didn’t say what the outcome was of the hotel key snafu. Let me guess:

    I can imagine that the editor’s wife finds the key without him knowing it. Being suspicious, she runs up to the hotel room to investigate. When she opens the door your husband is there and she is so upset, she thinks her husband is gay, she grabs his shoulders and they both fall on the bed. She screams in surprise! Just then you and the editor meet walking down the hall on the way to your respective hotel rooms. You both rush into your hotel room thinking some poor woman is being murdered. Everyone in the room is outraged!

    The story could be called: “The Key to a Blonde Misunderstanding”.

    Are you sure you don’t want to try romantic comedy? I think you’ve done enough research. : )

    Vince

    P.S. I have all your books so I’d like a chance to win the Christmas ornament. Did you notice my story was in the spirit of “Sunk Marketing” or as we call it, “Polecat Publicity”.

    vmres (at) swbell (dot) net

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  53. Okay, I have been blonde since birth... I am the only blonde in a family of seven, and I have never had a blonde moment... ever.

    HAHAHA

    Truth is I probably could be Skunk Publishings # 1 client.

    Why just now, I've been back and forth looking for the anonymous comment I did before this, and it's so anonymous I can't find it.
    I know I typed it, but it would seem in my zeal to get it posted and read it on the page, I forget to do the stupid verification and lost it completely.

    I remember my first conference and my first editor sit down. With Joan. I told her all the wonders of my stories and explained with one in particular, I'm sure I wowed her about why this book needed to be pubbed. Not only was it different, but God wanted me to write this and ... well, you get the drift.

    I was positive the bugged eyed look came merely from the excitement of finding such a new and promising author. She was gracious and even told me to send the story along, and I never did.

    I worked temp jobs and landed one answering the phone for a state senator, in the law section of the office. Someone called the law office lines, this someone had a well known name, but I figured they were full of it. Because I was only working the lawyer side of the senator's office. They wouldn't be calling me.

    I proceeded to say, "you're kidding me right."

    "No really" the man returned with touch of awe or something in his voice.

    Oh come on are you serious. I replied or something similar.

    He managed one of those half -laugh/ half are you kidding me things. "I'm serious."

    I still didn't believe him. I thought sure It was my son calling and playing a prank on me, It was something he'd done frequently because he was working on voices.
    Anyway, I thought I heard a touch of my son's voice behind the tone and said, "Come on, Nate, quit kidding around. What do you want?"

    The man patiently let me know that he indeed the governor of Colorado.
    and he wanted to talk to the senator.

    I don't even remember my response.

    I quickly put him on hold to transfer him to the senate lines and lost him.

    Needless to say, they didn't hire me on full time or anything.

    See... I have no blonde moments, so, my fav ornament is a wooden teddy bears (really about thirty of them) I made them one year, cu them out, wood burned and painted each one for family and friends. I kind of hated them after they were done, cause I was tired and they weren't as wonderful as I hoped, but they grew on me.

    I suppose I'll try for Steadfast Soldier if I'm called.

    Blessings
    and Merry Christmas

    Tina P.

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  54. One day when my children were young, we were driving down the highway and smelled a skunk.

    The middle kid, a boy, wrinkled up his nose and said, "Peeee-uuuu, I smell a catpole."

    I remember a really bad skunk thing that I unwittingly said to someone one time, but it's not something I can put out here. Yuk.

    Helen

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  55. Cheryl,
    Why did you XOX's shut down the site. Boy, you must have been popular!!
    I've done my share of skunk marketing but I'M NOT TELLIN'!

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  56. Vince, LOL! Thankfully, no. It didn't turn out like that. LOLAnd LOL on Polecat Publicity. That goes well with Skunk Marketing. LOL! Nerd Networking too.

    Thanks for coming by and embellishing the ending to my story...which was quite a bit more boring than your fictional ending. LOL.

    Cheryl

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  57. Tina, ROFL on the bug-eyed look. I'll bet editors have heard it all. LOLOLOL!

    Thanks for sharing! We must be twins separated at birth.

    C

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  58. Helen, ROFL on the catpole. LOLOL! Kids say the funniest things.

    Thanks for sharing.

    C

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  59. Lyn, I don't think it was merely the XOs, but a random mixture of a bunch of random symbols that I accidentally typed. It ended up being an unknown ominous code, which is what I titled the book that eventually sold to Steeple Hill. LOLOL!

    They retitled it A Soldier's Promise though. LOLOL.

    OH, poooh! Wish you'd tell your stories. I'll bet we'd get a kick out of them.

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Hugs
    Cheryl

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  60. As far as literal blonde moments...

    About five or six years ago, I decided to have a few highlights added to my hair. Only my beautician and I clearly had two different definitions of "few." My hair was more like blonde with brown lowlights.

    I went home and made lunch for the family. My 7-yr-old daughter (at that time) looked at me in awe and said: "Mommy, you look like Barbie."

    I chose to take that as a compliment.

    The worst part about being blonde was the number of men who thought I was incompetent. Thus I didn't have to carry my groceries to the car or open any doors or put gass in my car or wait long to be seated in a restaurant or find things that I wasn't looking for in whatever store I was shopping in.

    Three months later I went back to my naturally color-enhanced brunette self.

    It's rather nice not to be noticed.

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  61. Gina -- rather nice not to be noticed.
    Tina -- And rather nice to have people think you have a brain I bet.

    Everyone sent me blonde joke so I've heard every one imaginable. I even laughed at some of them.

    My blonde hair always got attention when out with the family. But I still have doubts people pay attention to my brain.

    I was a straight A student who felt like she had to fight her way to prove she wasn't a ditz.

    Why is it... blonde equals bimbo and gray which is lighter than blonde equals wisdom?

    And now that I have gray hair, you can barely see it because I'm blonde.

    lol

    blessings
    Tina P.

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  62. Loves 2 Read Romance - LauraDecember 21, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    Okay I love my Phantom of the Opera ornament. I don't care what prize I get. Okay so I worked for a doctor's office and one of the girls did something silly. When the doctor asked her what happened she told him she had a blond moment. The doctor was Indian and didn't quite understand what she had said. He went to the office manager and the office manager asked what the girl told him and he told her she said she was blonded. It was funny. Every time after that when one of us would claim to be having a blond moment someone would reply you mean you were blonded.

    fantum2004 AT sbcglobal DOT net

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  63. Oh, Cheryl, bless your heart. I understand. I do stupid things all the time. Right now I have a fever and I can't think of one specific one. Plus, I need to start getting ready to leave for the doctors appointment that I don't need to be late for! But on any other day, I'm sure I'd come up with several.

    Thanks for making me feel normal, Cheryl and Mary!!!!!!!!!!!

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  64. Cheryl -- I first heard you share your editorial assassin story a couple of years ago, and it STILL makes me laugh! Would have loved to have been a little mouse in the Steeple Hill office that day!

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  65. Melanie, I hope you feel better!! You can't be sick before Christmas!

    Gina, I'm am so having trouble seeing you as a blonde!! LOL

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  66. Cheryl,
    *BIG hugs*

    This was such a cute post, lady : ) It put a smile on my face after a very long day. I can definitely say that I've had it lol.

    I definitely haven't had any skunky moments with professionals lol! I just don't talk with them....

    Favvorite Christmas ornament? Hmmmmm....we have ornaments from every place we've travelled plus some other ones that just mean a lot too. I don't know if I could pick just one! I love my Irish step dancing shoes one from Ireland, the wooden cow from the Von Trapp family lodge, my ruby red slippers from The Wizard of Oz. I could go on and on, but I'll stop lol!

    I love that they're your Seeker Sisters, that is so special :)

    I don't know if you got my text, Aunt C *wink* butttt if not, I put more details up on my blog post today kind of. Just so you know. Sometime I wanna chat again because that was tons of fun and I need to hear some kind voices lol...

    Today there's a giveaway for a Cindy Woodsmall bookonmy blog, folks. Just saying. There's a few giveaways going on and another tomorrow, so pop by if you want.

    Sorry for the shamless plug :)
    Hannah

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  67. Did a skunk thing today. I went out to deliver some christmas goodies only to find out my top was on inside out! the lady said dont you do up the buttons. No i put it one with the buttons done up! then I had to walk home so glad I didn't go shopping!

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  68. Hi again! I was laughing so much at the post that I forgot to say I'd prefer a book, if given the chance! :D
    And loved the 'book without page numbers' story! ISn't the internet and this site great, with helping us format our submissions. Hail, Seekerville!

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  69. I am so glad I got here late, better than never. I laughed so hard about your Kindle question in B&N, that was too funny!! And the room key?? I am surprised you can even bear to admit to that, I would never be able to live such a thing down. Kudos to you! :) I'm not in the industry, so I can't say I have done something embarressing- yet!, I just know I appreciate your sense of humor. I'm a blonde too, so I get those moments. ;)


    I would love to win your book, thanks!

    caseymh18(@)Gmail.com

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  70. Well, I went out for supper, wearing a very spiffy new jacket, twice, and toward the end of the second night, I found the price tag hanging from the arm pit.

    sigh

    I don't get much new stuff, so I'm out of practice.

    Also a dork and the closest I come to BLONDE is gray. And that ain't close

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  71. Craziest thing I ever did was something I was embarassed into. I was at my first writer's conference and I saw an agent that I wanted to talk to. However, I was too afraid to approach her.

    One of the authors in my writer's group told me to either go say "hi" or she would spread a rumor saying I chased an agent to one of those places where we all cringe when we hear stories about writers who did.

    I knew the woman would never spread the rumor, but I did go up and introduce myself.

    Special note to Mary. When I was driving cross-country a few years ago, I stopped to sightsee in Lincoln. I got a complete tour of the stadium, etc. They even opened up some of the Nebraska football historical exhibits. (It was closed the day I was there.) The people could not have been nicer.

    Cheryl, as I have your book, I would like the Amish Christmas.

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  72. Cheryl, you are SOOO FUNNY!! Loved reading about all the skunk moments, LOL! I guess I could write a book on all the goofy things I've done over the years (just ask my kiddos). ~ An embarrassing moment happened when I was meeting with an editor at an ACFW conference. Besides the fact that I felt I was rambling with my pitch, one of my earrings fell off and I had to lean down to the floor (in the middle of my pitch) to retreive it. Then an ink pen I was holding (who knows WHY I was holding a pen during my pitch--maybe for security?!) flew out of my hand but thankfully didn't hit the editor in her face (or poke her eye). After that appointment I was ready to just go back to my hotel room and hibernate, LOL. ~ Thanks for sharing this post! Hugs, Patti Jo :)
    pattijomoore(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  73. Oh yeah, the phone incident! I had forgotten about that.

    ACFW 3 or 4 years ago.

    Robin Miller, aka Robin Caroll, and I were running around trying to manage the conference staffing issues, etc.

    We were trying to get in touch with someone, and Robin gave me her cell phone to call the person because I didn't have their number, then she hurried off to teach a class.

    An hour and a half later, I'm standing there talking to Cheryl and some others, and I reach in my pocket and pull out Robin's phone.

    Being a blonde's cousin, I whip out MY phone to call Robin to remind her that I still have HER phone.

    Duh

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  74. One of my favorite ornaments looks like a gingerbread cookie cutter and was given to me by a writer friend.

    I'd like to win one of the prizes. :) I would prefer the book.

    cathy underscore shouse at yahoo

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  75. Wow! I went offline to finish wrapping presents and come back to all these comments. Sorry for not individually answering each of you. I do appreciate you stopping by and have each of you down as entered. I also have your preferences listed. Thanks for taking my Skunk Marketing post good-naturedly. You all have a Merry Christmas!

    Hugs


    Cheryl

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  76. So funny, cheryl. I havn't had the opportunity to skunk market yet. But, given the chance, I'm sure I'll find myself in one of those situations...or worse.

    Rita

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  77. Lovely post. Your site comes to my in-box and I love it. Until we moved to our current place I was blonde, but now, thanks to the minerals in the water, I am a light auburn, except for the first couple of inches which are the same old blonde with whiffs of white. I wear hats a lot.

    Not being published, I don't have a blonde moment like you guys, but there was that time when I worked for a small radio station in west Texas. Once I answered the phone with the call letters of the station I actually listened to, and not the one that employed me. I got lucky, though, because the caller wasn't one of our listeners, it was the station manager. Ahem.

    Now that I've got grandkids who make ornaments every year, I couldn't choose a favorite.

    That Steadfast Soldier book sounds appealing. :)TX

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  78. The day is cold and gloomy and this post made me laugh and giggle so much. It is a very good start for the day.

    No skunky moments come to mind immediately.

    Steadfast soldier please and thank you very much for sharing.

    A very Happy Christmas to you and yours.

    Mystica

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  79. Cheryl, You are just too funny! I have done too many squirrelly things (I refuse to call them skunk moments) to even count. Loved this post! Thanks for sharing the foibles and pitfalls of publishing!

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  80. OK...I am a blonde as well. When I first met my publisher at a conference. (I didn't know he was publisher at the time)I say to him

    "Are you the guy in the promotional video?"

    "Yeah...that's me"

    "Wow tv really does ad weight. You look 10 lbs lighter."

    LOL luckily he had a sense of humor and was on a diet at the time. Totally opened the door.

    Bri

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  81. a good post and good replies.

    I would love the Amish collection.
    I blonde and have been forever.
    yourstrulee(at)sasktel(dot)net

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