Saturday, April 21, 2012

Seekerville Weekend Edition

This week we're sharing some of our private photos collected from Seeker desks and walls!  

 We Have Winners

 Don't forget to claim your Speedbo prizes. We've listed them here. You have 8 weeks to claim your Speedbo prize as well as this week's prizes per our UPDATED rules here. If we forgot a mailing (remind us after 8 weeks please), give us a nudge or a kick in the pants at our Seekerville address here. 
Love Inspired author Missy Tippens was your Monday your hostess with Be Brave. The winner of a  print copy of her February release from Love Inspired, A House Full of Hope is Carol N.

Love Inspired Historical author Jessica Nelson returned on Tuesday with a chat about CHOCOLATE. Winner of  a chocolate giveaway is  Joanne Sher and the winner of a copy of her debut release, Love on the Range is Stephanie Queen Ludwig.

Wednesday Love Inspired Suspense author Debby Giusti shared: "What I learned from John C. Maxwell’s book, Leadership 101." Winner of (print or e-book) of Leadership 101 is Sally Bradley.

  Seekerville was delighted to feature Jane Myers Perrine and The Welcome Committee of Butternut Creek,  on Thursday with "Inspiration for the Oft Rejected." Winner of a copy of The Welcome Committee of Butternut Creek is Teacher Michelle.

Desert Breeze author K. Dawn Byrd was our guest on Friday with "Making It Real by Pushing Boundaries: Writing for Teens." Winners of  two downloads of Shattered Identity are Pam T and Helen W.

Next Week In Seekerville
 Monday: Tyndale House author Pam Hillman is our hostess today. We're smack dab in the middle between Valentine's Day and the romantic month of June, and Pam is going to talk about proposals: real ones, and those from Seeker books. So join in and let's propose!

Tuesday: Children's writer and Avalon author Sandra LeeSmith brings you "We All Have Different Tastes--So Do Editors and Agents".   Rejection letters are not our favorite items in the mail, but lets take a good look at them and what they could mean to our writing plan of action. She'll share how publishers' guidelines and editor interviews help you target your manuscript. Sandra will be offering a Seeker book to one commenter who discusses what they have learned from a rejection letter.

Wednesday: Seekerville welcomes back Love Inspired debut author Mia Ross. Mia is also giving away three copies of her release, Hometown Family. Thanks, Mia!

Thursday: Thomas Nelson author Cara Lynn James will bring us a post on Fairy Tales. She'll also be giving away a copy of Love By the Book!

Friday:  Welcome three-time Christy Award finalist and RITA Award winner Gayle Roper, author of more than 40 books!

Seeker Sightings 

As always we encourage our Friends of Seekerville to share YOUR sightings, milestones and links to YOUR events with us in the Weekend Edition.

 Check out this great interview with Mary Connealy, Audra Harders, Julie Lessman and Debby Giusti at the Christian Retailing website, as they share Three Books Everyone Should Read.

TODAY! Anyone in the Bowling Green, Kentucky, area, be sure to head to the Southern Kentucky Bookfest to meet up with Missy Tippens! She'd love to see you! And she'll be signing copies of A House Full of Hope from 9 am - 3 pm.

Click to Buy on Amazon

TODAY! A chance to win Janet Dean's newest release, Brides of the West and a copy of Wanted: A Family on Petticoats & Pistols. Janet is talking about Last Minute Bride, her contribution to this 3 in 1 novella collection.

April is National Poetry Month, so stop by our short reads area to read Sandra Leesmith poems.

Random News & Information

Congratulations to the Christy Award Finalists

Congratulations to the Genesis semi-finalists!

Check out this online workshop from Celtic Hearts. Show and Tell: An Interactive Workshop. June 1-29.
1.) Definitions -- what is showing, what is telling
2.) Telling: Use of the Narrative Voice
3.) Breaking it down part 1: Showing to Pull a Reader into Your Scenes
4.) Breaking it down part 2: Better Narrative (so a reader doesn't skip this)
5.) Going Deeper in Viewpoint to Better Show a Character's Inner World
6.) Transitions & Word Count--Where Telling Really Helps
7.) Showing and Telling--Mixing it up Again: These are not Absolutes
8.) Write to Your Strengths: When to Show, When to Tell

Getting By On a Writer's Income (Lawrence Block via Steve Laube Blog)

How Do You Know if an Agent is a Good Agent? (PubRants)

Send Yourself A Rejection Letter (GalleyCat)

Why Do Old Books Smell? (GalleyCat)

Choosing the Perfect Unpublished Client by Wendy Lawton (Books & Such Literary)

Five Groups of People You Want to Follow On Twitter (Harlequin Blog)

If you entered the 2012 RWA Golden Heart , whether you finaled or not, you are eligible for entry in the Jeanne Gray Golden Friendship Award. 

And finally, from Mary Connealy's visit to Sac City, Iowa (home of the world's largest popcorn ball) and the Onawa, Iowa historical museum with authors Judy McCoy Miller and Lorna Seilstad to celebrate National Library Week, we bring you photos! The last photo is from the Parables Booksigning.

Lorna Seilstad on the historic train.
Mary & Judith at the outhouse (don't ask).
World's Largest Popcorn Ball.

Mary, hoping for Diet Pepsi.

Mary, Stephanie Queen Ludwig, Dawn Ford & Lorna Seilstad

 That's it! Have a wonderful week.


  1. Does anyone else hate it when a book starts to smell like Cheetos?

  2. LOL. I have never had a book smell like Cheetos. Any book in particular??

  3. Don't really old books smell like Cheetos to you? They do have to be really old.

  4. Or am I the only silly one that likes putting up books on her shelves from the 1800s to look at and never touch--especially if they could foul her fingers with the smell of hundred year old stale, potent, non-food Cheese puffs?

  5. I'm sure it has to do with mildew or damp and decay--the worse the old book looks the more likely it really stinks--sometimes I have to pass on a really cool old book because the stench is too overwhelming in that particular tome.

    But maybe that's the smell of books everyone likes??? But then, I'm probably the only person on the planet that doesn't like the smell of laundry hung on the clothesline (though that's how I dry all my laundry anyway).

    Ok, I'll stop clogging up the comments, and get back to work.

  6. Cheetos? I'm still mulling that one.

  7. I just went and smelled a book from 1931. Old. Musty. But alas. No Cheetos.

  8. It's not all of them--I should do a scientific study--try and figure out which ones are affected when I get some spare time.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, spare time, I crack myself up.

    Oh wait, I've commented on Seekerville past midnight how many times???? BACK TO WORK MELISSA!

  9. Okay I went and smelled one from 1897. Still no Cheetos.

  10. Next time I come across one, I'll send it to you, Tina. :)

  11. Cute pics!!! Congrats to the winners. :)

  12. Love the Weekend Edition, Tina! Photos are such fun, especially
    of Seekers and friends.

    Mary, were you able to get close enough to that popcorn ball to take a bite? Wonder how old it is? Old as Melissa's books? Did it smell like Cheetos?

    Melissa, I stuck my nose into a 1889 book. Smelled like cheetas. Is that close enough?


  13. I need coffee! Where is Helen? Does she take Saturdays off?


  14. Congratulations to the winners! Loved the pictures :)

  15. Melissa,
    I like to look at old books too..but Cheetos? LOL. They do have a unique smell.

    Congrats to all the finalists.
    And I loved the pics.
    You guys are so cute! :-)

    Wait...Melissa, did the book smell like a giant popcorn ball?

  16. I believe the contract negotiated with Helen allows her time off to attend to personal functions on occasion.

    I brought in a huge carafe of leaded and unleaded, Janet. Sorry, I slept in, was up all night debating Cheetos with Melissa.

  17. Pepper! How are you? Have you moved yet?

  18. LOL ... you guys are rollin' this mornin', Cheetos and all!! MELISSA ... get back to work!!

    LOVE the pics, Teenster, especially those of Mare, Judy and Lorna -- TOO cute!! But an outhouse??? A popcorn ball I can understand, but the outhouse stumps me. Now, a popcorn ball IN an outhouse ... maybe.


    OMIGOSH!!! How did you find those clips from Christian Retailing???? I barely remember doing that clip!! Soooo fun to see Audra, Deb and Mare, too!! And, WHOA BABY, remind me to take tranquilizers before I do a video interview next time, will you??? Sheesh ... and I'm not even Italian, giving true credence to my claim of being a CDQ (caffeinated drama queen).



    P.S. Actually took the time to smell two old books, and they smell like attic to me, not Cheetos!! Obviously my relatives were not into snacking. :)

  19. Hey Tina,
    Yep - moved in
    Downstairs wallpaper is stripped, walls repaired, sanded, and painted.

    This morning, I'm repairing the walls in my youngest boys' bedroom with the hopes of sanding this afternoon and...maybe....putting on a coat of primer by evening. We'll see.

    It was a foreclosure with lots of cosmetic work needed, but boy, oh boy, I really like the results (sorry Ruthy... I know how you LOVE wallpaper) :-)

  20. Btw, Tina
    I started writing again last night. It was such a wonderful blessing! I've missed it.

    Been daydreaming a lot and filling up little bits of scrap paper during carline and lunch breaks, but no real writing time.

  21. Thanks for the weekend update, Tina.

    And as far as smelly books, I have a collection of those shelved in the garage. Don't dare bring them into the house. Have tried all sorts of tips, from freezing to fabreezing, and they still smell musty, or worse! I know that several were flood victims, but I can't part with them yet. Someday another person will have them in their house and they'll be moaning about how the book smell of oil and grease, haha.

    Have a blessed weekend everyone!

  22. I think my oldest book in the house is from around 1985 and it has actual Cheeto fingerprints on it.
    I don't think that counts.

  23. Seriously -- you people with old books -- haven't you ever heard of book lice?! :-)

    Loved this weekend edition. All the pictures. I wonder how stale the world's biggest popcorn ball is and when it will start smelling like Cheetos?

    My favourite link was to the interviews. Really fun since I'm at work and I don't have audio on my computer so I tried to read lips. And who knew Julie would be so animated?!

    Loved Sandra's poetry too. She really managed to evoke images with such a few well-chosen words. Sigh, I envy poets.

    Happy rainy weekend everybody!

  24. Booklice, also called psocids, are not true lice. While they resemble lice in size and shape, booklice feed only on fungi or mold. If you find them in grain or other stored food products, it is an indication of high humidity which encourages mold growth. In addition to food products, psocids may be found under wallpaper, in furniture, along the sides of windows or on window sills around potted plants. Booklice do not bite, transmit disease, or damage food or fabric, but they can be very annoying when present in large numbers

  25. I live in Denver. There is no humidity. I am safe from the dreaded book lice.

  26. Hi Melissa:

    I have quite a few old books that smell like Cheetos, too. I know exacally what you mean. In fact, I have a whole chest of books printed in the 1700’s that when you open the top it smells like cheetos are stored inside. What a disappointment to find that there are only few dozen antiquarian books inside and nary a Cheeto.


  27. Hi Tina:

    Mary has a picture on her website from her Iowa trip of a town memorial that says: “Future Birthplace of James T. Kirk” with the date he is going to be born. That is a town with a sense of humor. This is priceless to a Star Trek fan.

    Please show this picture sometime in the future!


    P.S. (The “T” stands for Tiberius.)

  28. Hi Tina:

    After all these years looking at WE Seeker pictures, I find myself in one! Did you notice the Yankee hat? I wore that just to make Ruth feel at home. Don’t I make those ladies look so petite?


    P.S. RUTH: Jeter’s NYC apartment is up for sale! If I were a Realtor there in NY, I’d show it to you.

  29. Tina:

    It’s National Poetry Month and no one told me? I tell you, without the Seekers I’d be lost.


  30. Hi All & Sandra:

    Don’t miss Sandra’s poems! ”Desert Hike” and ”Dream Song” are the next best thing to being there. I felt just like I did when I was back walking through the desert museums in Carlsbad and Tucson. I love the “Big Empty”. Without all the people and signs of civilization, it’s easier to see God.

    I’d like Sandra to write a romance about a heroine/poetess who lives as a free spirit in the desert and whose poetry actually appears in the book. Use your talent! You are a poet.

    The hero is a pro golfer who has lost his swing and is there to have a nine day Navajo sing performed to help him get his swing back.

    I’m in love with the heroine already!


  31. Hi Tina:

    Book lice are not like other lice. They are much better educated. And they are most annoying when they correct you.

    (I could be doing this or I could be out cutting two lawns!)

  32. Hi Tina:

    BTW: do you happen to know when National Doggerel Month is?

    OK: I”ll go cut the lawns.

  33. The oldest book I own is an 1880 Ginn & Company cloth hardback of Shakespeare's Macbeth. It doesn't smell like cheetos though. It does smell like a teenage boy's room though. But I don't care. I think that's part of its charm. =)

  34. I just checked out the Christian Retailer interviews...loved it!! It was so fun to hear some of your voices and see what books you'd recommend. Thanks for the link : ). Hope you all have a great weekend!

  35. Congratulations to all the winners this week! Thanks for the links, Tina, to great articles and information. The pics were fun too. :) Have a great weekend everyone!

    PEPPER--you are amazing! Look at all the work you've done. I'm getting ready to start writing again, too. Can hardly wait!

    All right, getting back into preps for writing. Enjoy your day!

  36. PS--I wasn't brave enough to stick my nose into any old books. I have piano music books from my grandmother from around 1900. Don't want to see if it smells like Cheetos.

  37. Ah! I love all the pictures!!

  38. So, Vince...aren't we going to get a poem today? Nary a poem, sigh.

  39. I had to look up DOGGEREL at

    And found...

    "We're not sure why poor dogs always seem to get used to describe something really dreadful, but it's the case with doggerel — meaning irregularly rhyming, really bad poetry, usually comic in tone and fit only for dogs.

    Sometimes doggerel has a non-critical meaning: plenty of popular comic poets (like Lewis Carroll or any limerick inventor) had no aim to make great art, just great light verse, and they succeeded brilliantly. They were masters of doggerel. But pity the earnest highbrow poet like the immortal Scotsman William McGonagall whose doggerel was so bad his audience frequently pelted him with eggs and rotting vegetables. Now his poetry was only fit for the dogs."

  40. STACEY'S BACK!!! Welcome back and hi to baby boy!

  41. I'm a huge star trek fan, too, Vince.
    Have you watched that new Star Trek The Future Begins movie, it's probably two years old now, "How it all started."

    I loved that movie.

  42. And that picture with you, Vince. What a fun weekend that was. Thanks so much for hanging around with us.

  43. Without looking it up, I'd say doggerel is something like rules, or tradition in a sense of strict obedience to tradition.

    Now I'm going to go look it up.

    I believe I'm being very brave to post first.

  44. Okay forget that.

    the root word probably from dog, applied to bad poetry perhaps with a suggestion of puppyish clumsiness, or being only fit for dogs.

  45. I will now share with you a poem I wrote long ago.

    Probably best forgotten but then why would I let that stop me after my doggerel fiasco.

    A bartender I shall call Rick.
    Was a man all the ladies would pick.
    He could mix drinks with flair.
    He had fantastic hair.
    And he knew how to swizzle his stick.

  46. On the flooring laughing........he knew how to swizzle his stick.

    Are you kidding me? We deserved a spew alert for that!!!!

  47. VINCE! THANK YOU for sticking up for me!

    I knew I couldn't be the only one who'd smelled a Cheetofied book before!

    It was all a conspiracy, while Tina was "mulling" it over she was sending out a mass email--"don't admit to the Cheeto smell, make Melissa doubt her olfaction"--I was so on to you Tina!!!!

    And Lyndee I've tried freezing etc too -- doesn't work, I can still smell the Cheetos.

    I love that I've started a wave of book smelling makes me laugh.

  48. You guys are FUNNY, but that has still not distracted me from the fact that I WON CHOCOLATE!!!! That's ALMOST as good as getting an agent, right??? As long as it doesn't smell like Cheetos :)

    LOVED the WE, Tina - the pictures are GREAT, and I'm definitely looking forward to next week.


  49. Olfacation. OLFACTION??

    I have never used that word.

    I am loving it.

    This makes the mass emails all worth it. I stayed awake all night getting those out. Somehow I missed Vince.


  50. Congrats to the winners!!! YAY!!!

    Had a wonderful chat with Carol Moncado yesterday! Waving to Carol!!!

    Learned two new bits of info lice and doggerel.

    Book lice, really?

    Did you know tiny bugs infest in reams of printer paper. We had a problem in the lab where I worked some years ago. Not sure what the critters were called, other than a nuisance.

    Loved the pics, Tina, and the Christian retailing videos. I hadn't checked them out. You are such a cyber sleuth!

  51. Travelingstacy!!! Love your pic with baby. My mother's heart is sighing. So, so precious! Such a gift from God.

    Sending love to you and yours!

  52. I think I know what olfaction means too, but my spirit is broken. I won't venture to define it in public.

    I will however be glad to eat Cheetos so you can't say I'm not staying involved in the weekend edition.

  53. Also, Joanne, I totally respect your focus. Good girl. WISE girl.

  54. Tina, now I can rest easy about book lice. Thank you!

    Vince, why two lawns? Or do you count front and back?


  55. Stacey, love the picture of the precious baby boy on your shoulder!


  56. Just reading the words book lice makes my head itch.

  57. Stacey what a precious baby. Thanks for using that picture!

  58. Janet and Tina:

    Helen took more than Saturday off.
    After writing THE END she went to see kids and ATTEND A WRITERS' MEETING!!

    Hung around with Carol Moncado and the MOzarks gang in Springfield this afternoon. Left daughter's house. Now at youngest son's.

    Thanks for taking care of the coffee for me.


  59. You hung out with Carol??? Well, aren't you a social butterfly! I am jealous!!!

  60. Yep. Helen hung out with me and Kathleen Y'Barbo Turner and Tracey Bateman and the rest our local group [except Andrea Strong :( She had a sick kiddo :(].

    And I got to talk to Debby yesterday!

    Great weekend. Except that I got my nose lasered. And now it hurts and is all red. Need to find someone who can photoshop my nose.

    Plus it's my youngest daughter's bday. She's 7. We had cake. And will have more tomorrow at her party.


  61. Okay I botched that comment and had to resend. Carol, isn't Jessica Keller your critique partner? She finaled as well in the Genesis.

  62. Duh, yes she is. I checked. Jess is the one with really cool website.


  63. So this is what happens when I wait until Saturday evening to come to the party - you guys eat all the Cheetos!

    Or you fed them to the book lice, who eat mold. Hmmm.

    I'm with you Tina. No humidity = no unwelcome critters. That's a big win in my book.

    Congrats to the winners, and the mention of chocolate reminds me. Someone said they were sending me Godiva. I think it was back in February. Do you think my mailman ate it?

    Stacey - beautiful baby!

    I'm off to get some reading in!!!

  64. No, I'm behind schedule as usual.

    But the good news is that I am just about two or maybe three weeks over 8 weeks so I'm only barely late-ish.

    Thank you for your patience.

  65. Yes Tina, I'm patient. And I'll stop staring suspiciously at the mailman when he delivers packages. :)

  66. Hi ladies (and gents)! It's so fun to start getting back into the swing of things : ). Thanks for the kind words about my newest little one...I have to say he is the sweetest little thing! Your comments really made me feel good! I hope in the next week or so I can pick up the writing again. My brain isn't quite back to normal yet...I'm sure it's the sleep deprivation : ). Blessings to all of you! ~Stacey

  67. Hi Janet:

    The lawns are cut. One lawn was ours and the other was my mil and fil’s. They are in their 90’s and live only ¼ mile away.


  68. For Tina by Request

    Subatomic doggerel
    barks and quarks

    Ebooks now have
    electronic lice
    they aren’t virtual
    and they aren’t nice

    They eat electrons
    and that isn’t pretty
    they eat right down
    to the real nitty-gritty

    They prefer quarks
    but bosons will do
    and if they
    could find one
    they’d eat
    the God
    particle, too.

    But you can’t
    destroy matter
    it become energy
    and given time
    the electronic lice
    will be eaten
    by the battery.

  69. Hi Mary:

    I got into the Caltech student Star Trek cancellation protests in 1968. I went to PCC at the time but I walked through the Caltech campus each day on my way home. I remember one sign that read, “It’s Not Logical to Cancel Star Trek”. (These were little protests. I did not go to the big one in Burbank.)

    So, you like: Louis L’Amour, Tony Hillerman, and Star Trek. If we were dating, I’d be shopping for a ring. : )

    Mary: Your picture at the pump brought back memories of the Kingston Trio and Desert Pete. See the clip at:

    This is a very good Sunday sermon song.


    P.S. I have not seen “The Future Begins” but I will now. I’m really into the first three years of the show.

  70. Vince,
    I loved Tony Hillerman. Started reading him when I lived in the Mojave. Loved his characters and his voice.

    Your poem is too cute!!!

    But flirting with Mary has the rest of us jealous! :)

  71. It's turned cold in Georgia. Must don a coat for church. Brrrr!

    Actually the coolness feels refreshing, especially for this time of year.

  72. I think it's the moldy cheese smell you're smelling, Melissa... They do get old-sock funky.

    Nora Roberts described it (I think) in the MacGregor Grooms... How he loved the smell of old books and dank basements, and so was MEANT for Boston...


    I loved that description.

    I'm so late. Gone yesterday, meeting my long-lost cousin Helen. What a wonderful reunion!

    But holy, moly, old books, musty smell and food...

    Sounds delicious! On popcorn, no less? Near Mary's outhouse????

    Could life possibly get better than THAT??????

    I submit that it cannot!

  73. Oh my stars....

    He knew how to swizzle his stick....

    Dying here.

    Need Cheetos!!!!

  74. I am kissing Stacey's baby right now.

    I love me some babies!!!!!!

  75. Carol, honey, use the ten-year-old I was younger then picture.... Like the rest of the writing world does, LOL!!!

    Pre-laser, pre palsy-, pre-basal...

    Amazing what old pics hide, darlin' girl!

    Vince, I'm waiting for a poem too. Although I loved Mary's.

    Was that a limerick????

  76. Oh, it was probably me... I keep writing myself sticky notes to get mailings out.

    I blame God.

    Easter and all that.

    He's got big shoulders.

  77. I'm with Deb. Flirting with Mary is just....


    Which makes it wrong, wrong, wrong!!!

    BUT.... I love Star Trek.... The Tribbles???? Captain Kirk's romance with Zarabeth?????

    Oh be still my heart.

    Didn't see the movie.

    I blame Mary.

  78. Wow Thanks! Looking forward to receiving the K Dawn's book!

    Congrats to all the other winners.


  79. By Special Request:
    A true Limerick
    (five lines: a, a, b, b, a)
    Just For Ruth

    There was a young author from Allegany county
    Who fell in love with a Canadian Mountie
    He took her to dances
    And read her romances
    And gave a new meaning for deep POV

  80. It wouldn't have to be a fancy ring, neither, Vince. I have a firm rule about jewelry. I don't want to ever own a piece of jewelry expensive enough that it's a disaster when I inevitably LOSE IT.

    My first wedding ring came off with my second child in a scary swollen finger incidence in which we barely got it off and were considering medical intervention and power saws.

    I never saw it away.

    My husband got me a new gold band for our twenty fifth anniversary. It was an extremely romantic moment, brought about by my going to my oldest daughter and saying, "I want a new wedding band, size whatever, buy it, hand it to your dad, make him fork over money to you and tell him to say something romantic when he gives it to me, along the lines of, 'if I had it to do over again, I'd still marry you.'"
    And whatever you do, don't let him know this was my idea.
    (he's figured it out since!)
    Having adult daughters is GREAT!
    She bought the ring, when i saw her a while before the anniversary, for which we took our children out for supper, no other celebration, she had me try it on, it was a little tight, she returned it for the next size larger."

    Yes, very romantic when he gave it to me. I don't remember if he said anything to me or not.

  81. Ha, ha, ha!!! Vince!!!!

    There was writer named Vince
    Of pantsing we couldn't convince.
    He plotted and planned.
    And wrote his romance.
    Till he hit the NYT list.

  82. When poems invade us today
    It's surprising the rhymes that hold sway
    We're empty inside
    Since Frost and Browning died
    If poetry only would pay.

  83. Mary, Mary quite arbitrary.
    How does your manuscript grow?
    With deep pov, and show not tell,
    And dead husbands all in a row.

  84. You all have too much free time on your hands... :)

  85. Au contrair, Debby. This is called a break in writing.

    I am editing right now.

    There was a suspense writer named Debby.

    Okay, I need help here.

  86. What Tina Began...

    There was a suspense writer named Debby
    who for deadlines was always unsuspensefully ready.
    She worked real hard and said her prayers
    but when you think about this was quite unfair.
    Who wrote “The Writer’s Prayer” -– It was Debby.

  87. Am I the only one who used the rejection letter generator?? Okay, so I'm easily entertained.

    Can one of you poets come up with a poetic rejection letter? That would make my day ...and give you something to do besides sniff old books.

    Oops,need to get the tell-tale 'Cheeto-orange' off the keyboard ...

    Oh and congrats to all the winners!

    Nancy C(heeto)

  88. A Sunday Lesson

    The man told his priest, “My wife is driving me insane. She wants me to give her things but she won’t tell me what they are.”

    “Ah,” said the Priest, “then they most be things that can’t be asked for.”

    “What can’t be asked for?”

    “All the little things you would do or say if you were still truly in love with her.”

    “That’s all she wants?”

    “Yes, that’s all, just constant unsolicited evidence that you are still deeply in love with her and would marry her all over again today.”

    “I can sure do that. That doesn't even cost anything. But tell me Father, how do you know all this?”

    “I hear confessions. You’d be surprised how many husbands are driving their wives insane.”

  89. From the Short Order Poet

    The Reject Letter Poem

    Roses are Red
    Violets are Blue
    If you think this is writing
    There’s no hope for you.

  90. LOL, Vince! I love it. Enough to try my hand.

    Dear Author, it said.
    And filled me with dread.
    At this time we find,
    No place for your kind.
    Don't darken our door
    With this dismal amore,
    Until pigs fly west
    We believe would be best.

  91. Thank you, Vince, for the poem...

  92. Ohmygoodness You Guys! I always miss the good stuff!
    Met the new girlfriend last night. Prom was safe and successful,we have a happy tired boy.

    I just skimmed stuff today but I think I want some Cheetos.
    Oh, and I know what the 'T' stands for too.
    Love you all.

  93. I try never to meet the new girlfriends. Except in passing. It never fails, the second I grow attached to them the new flavor of the month appears.

  94. A new girlfriend was brought in the door...

    Could this one be forever-more?

    He piddled and paddled

    And diddled and daddled

    Until wiser, she figured the score!


    He thought she might just be the one...

    His mother had wedding bells rung...

    But then one summer's day

    She went far, far away

    And a sad ol' boy song was then sung.

  95. We have a firm rule in our household of all girls.

    Don't bother telling me his name unless it's serious.
    And even then don't bother telling me his last name.

  96. This book does not meet our needs at this time, dear.
    We hope you can place it. Good luck.
    But we do thank you dearly for sending it here.
    It provided the break room a yuk.

  97. Rejection is good for the soul.
    Though we know that they take quite a toll.
    I don't like your plot.
    You're hero's not hot.
    And my boredom is out of control.


  98. Please don’t take it to heart
    But we knew from the start
    This book of yours stunk
    The hero was no hunk
    And the plot a bit tart

  99. I really wrote that first one before reading Mary's last one. I'm not a poet but here's another:

    Dear writer, please note this letter.
    We strive to print much better
    To consider the work you’ve submitted
    We’d have to be committed
    Please go buy yourself a shredder.

  100. You guys are totally cracking me up.

  101. I don't think it's my books that smell like cheetoes.... It's my fingers. I just had some. ha

  102. I'm finally home from my visit to KY. Miss my parents already but am glad to be home to my kids and hubby!

    Missed y'all too!!

    Tina, thanks for these great links! And congrats to all the finalists and winners!!

  103. Oh I just read these poems. You guys are amazing. Seriously. I especially love Tina's "dead husbands all in a row" about Mary, hehe.

  104. Oh, my goodness! You've all been poets today!! LOL I love it. :)

  105. Oh Vince! I broke out laughing. That is a keeper.

    Nancy C

  106. Hi Mary:

    My expensive $500 Artcarved gold nugget type wedding ring lasted all of five days! But it was my wife’s fault that it was lost.

    We were taking a honeymoon canoe ride down the Illinois River which was fifty feet wide and four inches deep until the river narrowed to ten feet, got deep and picked up speed. Sitting up front she flipped the canoe and the ring was lost in the rapids. She had engraved in my ring the Italian word “Sempre” which means forever.

    She said, “That was one short forever.” As soon as we got back to Tulsa, I bought a replacement ring – the exact copy which also matched hers. However, she did not put “Sempre” in it again until twenty years later. Also I bought a size smaller and only the people at the hospital have been able to get it off my finger.

    The ring was expensive for a gold band but we’ve loved all the compliments we’ve had over the years.


  107. Tina -- not just "until pigs fly" but "until pigs fly west" LOL LOL

    Nancy C

  108. Hi Jamie:

    Your poem really made me laugh. Your last line was so unexpected. It’s my favorite line of all the poems.

    "Please go buy yourself a shredder".

    I never saw this line coming. You may be more of a poet than you know.


  109. And another funny poetic rejection letter from Mary ... Maybe there should be an anthology!

    Nancy C

  110. I really should have read all the comments before commenting on the poetic rejection letters. Now I'm not only sure we have the makings of an anthology here, we have proof positive of what a talented group this is ...

    ....and why some of us should stick to fiction :-)

    Nancy C