Friday, October 19, 2012

The Nature of Deep Point of View with Guest Jill Elizabeth Nelson

Deep Point of View is one of many techniques writers may deploy from their arsenal of skills in order to craft a book to their highest capabilities. It’s a technique that I’ve become passionate about since my first editor for my debut novel set me straight about writing Deep and writing in the now. I’ve published a handbook on the subject called Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View....*UPDATE...IT IS FREE this Saturday and Sunday on Kindle. GET YOUR COPY WITHOUT FAIL!!!

In this blog post, we’ll take a peek at a few characteristics of Deep POV—what it is and what it isn’t—in order to gain a stronger understanding of the purpose and nature of this technique.

Following is a vital term that you’ll see a lot:  Narrative Distance. Writers create narrative distance when they consciously or unconsciously insert an invisible narrator between the POVC and the reader. This issue is also known as author intrusion and is not the same as purposefully choosing omniscient POV as best suited to tell an epic tale—but that’s another topic.

  • Deep POV eliminates narrative distance. 

When reading a book written in Deep POV readers will feel like there is nothing between them and what is happening to the Point of View Character (POVC). In Deep POV, we don't want thoughts or actions told or explained by a third party; we want to live the events inside the POVC's head. The narrative should read like the thoughts going through the character's mind but without the need to italicize as in direct thought quotations. 

Following are a few examples that demonstrate what a sentence might look like with that annoying, invisible narrator buzzing in the reader’s ear and then with the narrator removed.

With the narrator:
She wished she could whisk back in time and redo the last few minutes.
Without the narrator:
Too bad life didn’t come with an undo button like a computer.

With the narrator:
He had to think hard about what to do next.
Without the narrator:
What should he do next?

With the narrator: 
Jason’s scowl caused Meg to shudder.
Without the narrator:
If Jason’s scowl turned any blacker, lightning would strike her dead.

  • Deep POV is not a long string of internal monologue. 

Your narrative should not stall out with the POVC endlessly nattering to himself while nothing in particular happens around him. Action and contemplation alike should be Deep, with clear-cut comments from within the character’s psyche alternating and flowing with the external activity. In Deep POV, no gulf stretches between what the character feels internally and what is going on around him. They feed off each other in smooth and dynamic rhythm.

Here’s an example from Reluctant Runaway, Book Two in my To Catch a Thief series. The heroine, Desiree, has been abandoned in the desert, and now she’s run into double trouble—a notorious motorcycle gang. Notice how her inner monologue flows naturally with the external conversation and activity—all in Deep POV.

Desi stared into the flat gray eyes of the lead motorcyclist. He wore a black denim shirt with the sleeves ripped off and the seams hanging ragged. His bronzed arms were a rolling terrain of muscle and ink. A massive pewter cross dangled from his neck on a leather cord, and a sliver of tattoo peeked from his shirt neck.

Was she face-to-face with the infamous Snake Bonney? He wasn’t as big as she’d first thought, charging down on her like that. But he was no pip-squeak either. She’d be no match for him by himself, much less with the gang of hard-faced clones around him. She swallowed—or started to, but she couldn’t find a drop of saliva.

A hard grin split the leader’s reddish beard. “You lost?” His voice resembled his motorcycle’s rumble.

“Out for a walk.” Her words came out a croak. “Headed back to the road. The way you—” cough— “came.” She coughed again and then took a quick sip from the canteen. “See?” She held up the water container. “I’m prepared.”

He pointed at her headdress. “You’re far out.”

Desi blinked. Far out? This guy wasn’t old enough to be a seventies reject. Must be some kind of Sonny Barger hero emulation. Of course, the founder of the Hell’s Angels was decades older now, like the rest of the world, and probably didn’t talk that way anymore either. Not a good time to point that out, but—Okay, she was thinking goofy things to keep from panicking.

“I’ll be on my way now. Bye.” She stepped forward.
The cycles revved . . 


You can see that Desiree thinks many things in an internal voice that is clearly her own, but none of these thoughts require italics. This takes us to our next point.

  • Deep POV is not italicized. 

Increasing the amount of italicized direct thought quotations does not transform your narrative into Deep POV. The object of Deep POV is to anchor the reader inside the POVC’s head without continually quoting verbatim from her mind. 

Here’s an example of what I mean:

Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that sunshine and the dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d better go get my tools. She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now, where did I put my gloves and trowel?

In the above example, we are certainly in Jane’s head—uncomfortably so—but the abundance of italics and the hip-hop between “she” and “I” will soon become tedious to the reader. 

Here is an example of the same narrative written in Deep POV.

Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow! Would there ever be a better day for gardening? Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?

Deep POV does use italics for brief direct thought quotations, but no more frequently than in shallow POV. The use of italicized verbatim thoughts should be limited to exclamations or colloquialisms that require the extra emphasis of italics.

  • Deep POV will eliminate most, if not all, problems with show/don’t tell. 

Is anyone ready to do the happy dance? It’s nearly impossible to “tell” in Deep POV, because that annoying, invisible narrator has been given the boot!

Following is the opening paragraph of Calculated Revenge, my spring 2010 release for Love Inspired Suspense. It is written in Deep POV.

The grimy backpack rested abandoned against the playground fence. Laney Thompson’s eyes riveted on the school bag, but her feet stuck to the gravel near the swings. What was the matter with her? The students had rushed less than a minute ago into the elementary school building after noon recess. One of them must have forgotten the bag. Simple explanation. Then why did her skin pebble as if she stood on this Minnesota playground in mid-January rather than the balmy end of May?

Here’s the same paragraph regressed into “telling” mode. Can you spot the flat, telling, narrator intrusion? 

Laney Thompson saw the grimy backpack resting abandoned against the playground fence. She tried to step toward it, but something kept her from moving her feet. She’d watched the students rush less than a minute ago into the elementary school building after noon recess. One of them must have forgotten the bag, she thought. She considered that a logical explanation. Yet she felt her skin pebble as if she stood on this Minnesota playground in mid-January rather than the balmy end of May.

  • The expert user of Deep POV will know that there are times to “tell.” 

Even stories written primarily in Deep POV will contain times when it is a favor to the story to condense and “tell” certain types of mundane and transitional events and then “go deep” when the real action commences once more. As in all things creative, the artist must be sensitive to rhythm and balance. 

The following is an example of how Deep POV can flow with the brief moments when it is time to go less deep in order to move the story along:

Mom turned the vehicle into the mall parking lot. In the back seat, I sat up stiff. What? We weren’t headed for the zoo? Here, I’d been practicing that Blue Macaw whistle, so high and sweet. Today was supposed to be the day the bright bird answered my call. A few minutes later, I was stuck indoors, shuffling along cold tiled floors while my sister hunted for the perfect dress. Yeah, right! Like that would ever happen.

Notice how closely we stay inside this young girl’s head throughout the passage, except for that transitional phrase when I go shallow in order to move the characters from the car to the interior of the mall. By saying “a few minutes later,” I eliminate paragraphs of mundane activity that could turn tedious and are unnecessary to the story. This is an example of when and how to pull back seamlessly then zoom in again. 

Now, we’ve covered some basics of what Deep POV will do for your manuscript, as well as what it should not look like. Have you read books that exhibited these characteristics and that you now realize were written in Deep POV? If so, I recommend that you begin finding more such books and studying the technique. One of the best ways to learn and reinforce a new craft skill is by observing how masters do it. 

If you’re scratching your head about what authors this might include, I have a few recommendations. Anything by Brandilyn Collins is written in excellent Deep POV. You should also check out books by Karen Ball. She is the former editor who yanked my skill level up by the bootstraps by imparting these techniques during the editorial process for my debut novel. Colleen Coble is another author who writes mostly Deep third person. Also, it probably goes without saying that my books are written in Deep POV. (Hah! I said it!)

Award-winning author and writing teacher, Jill Elizabeth Nelson, writes what she likes to read—tales of adventure seasoned with romance, humor, and faith. Jill is a popular speaker for conferences, writers groups, library associations, and civic and church groups. She delights to bring the “Ahah! Moment” to her students as they make new skills their own. Her handbook for writers, Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View, is now available at Amazon. 


Visit Jill on the web at: or look her up on Facebook or Twitter. Her next release is Betrayal on the Border, coming in December from Love Inspired Suspense.

Seekerville is DELIGHTED to have Jill with us today. I've downloaded her book and it's a classic for your writing tool bookshelf.

*UPDATE...Jill has just announced that, starting tomorrow and on Sunday, Rivet Your Reader with Deep POV is FREE FREE FREE. Because of that we will change our five copies giveaway to a ONE HUNDRED PERCENT GIVEAWAY, THANKS TO JILL'S GENEROSITY. Wait until tomorrow, then go get your copy FREE.

More Birthday Presents Here!


  1. I have your book and HAVE READ IT. As a matter of fact, I won it on Seekerville!

    Thanks for the insightful post.

    The coffee pot is set to brew.


  2. Hi Jill! As I was reading the first part of this article I was thinking that this sounds like it could be related to show/don't tell and then I read the second half of the article! LOL I think I've learned something in my years following along with the Seekers. :-P Very interesting...I think I need to find Reluctant Runaway to see how that biker scene plays out. ;-)

  3. Thank you, Jill. I really enjoy reading deep POV, and I love the fact that writing in deep POV eliminates "telling." Yay!

    Now. To work on writing it as nicely as your examples. :-) Must. Go. Study.

    Don't enter me for the drawing. I already have a digital copy of RYRwDPV.

  4. Welcome, Jill!!! Let the POV games begin@@

    DEEP POV to the left and muffins to the right!!!

  5. I'm actually reading this one right now, so don't put me in the drawing. I'll not bother trying to explain Deep POV anymore, I'll just refer people to your book. :)

  6. That post was deep. ;-). Please me down for the drawing.
    Tina P.

  7. Hi, Jill! I'm a huge fan of Rivet Your Reader with Deep POV. I've recommended it often. Actually, I think you've spoiled me. I'm finding it bothers me to read books that aren't in deep pov. *g*

  8. Wow! I just updated my wish list on Amazon this morning at my daughter's request. (She starts her Christmas shopping early. =) When I saw this book as I was looking at others, I knew I had to have it and added it to my list pronto. And here it is, along with a great post from the author. As a huge fan of POV, I'm delighted.

  9. What a great post today Jull! I struggle in the POV area and could use some direction. Thank you for your post and the giveaway of your book on POV. I would love to be entered to win a copy.

    Smiles & Blessings,
    Cindy W.


  10. Good morning! I have your book, Jill. It was one of the first craft books I ordered this year.

    Peace and thanks, Julie

  11. I always get a lot out of reading posts about POV ... I particularly loved your examples! Best way to understand the technique :)

    Would love to be entered in the draw!

  12. Good morning, Jill.

    What a serendipitous post.

    I was just rereading a chapter opening and it hit me hard that I hadn't written deep. I was feeling frustrated so I decided to visit Seekerville before rewriting.

    I actually laughed out loud when the page opened and I saw your topic. Talk about perfect timing.

    Thanks for the reminders.

    No need to enter me either. I have your book too.

    Now off to find a way to rewrite that opening.

  13. I have the book too! I understand it... just wish I had you here Jill to circle all my shallow narrative. Once in awhile they slip by.

    One thing I do is look for all the filtering words like felt, saw, watched, heard, wondered, etc.

    Can you share a suggestion for helping us see that sneaky narrator? (besides buy the book! Because everyone should have it!)

    Excuse me while I shove people aside to get to those muffins. I really REALLY need a pumpkin muffin today.

  14. Great post, Jill. Very helpful! I think I may be halfway, but I may need to beef up my pages a little more. Your examples will help me out a lot.

    And, as always, I'd love to be included in the drawing.

  15. Welcome Jill!

    I bought your book this summer, and it's one of the best investments I'm made. I know my writing is better from reading your deep POV book. Thanks.

    I encourage anybody who doesn't have a copy to get one. Everybody needs a copy.

    Thanks for stopping by today!

    I hope you all have a great weekend!


  16. Goood morning, Jill. I write in deep 3rd POV and loved reading your insights and tips.

    Debra, here are some additional intrusion words: think, wished, looked, caused, thought.

    Please enter me in the contest.

  17. Nice informative post. Enter me in the drawing .
    Campbellamyd at Gmail dot com

  18. Excellent info about Deep POV! Thank you! So glad you could be with us in Seekerville today, Jill.

    When I see "felt" in a story, as in, "He felt sick," I know it's not Deep POV.

    I always try to edit any "felts" out of my own work.

    Filtering words are never Deep POV, IMHO.

  19. Jill
    EXCELLENT information.
    Can't wait to delve in further.

    This in particular resonated with me: When reading a book written in Deep POV readers will feel like there is nothing between them and what is happening to the Point of View Character (POVC).


    Debby, great point there too.

    Thank you Seekerville, and guests. Y'all help to improve our writing!! (My binder is getting FAT from all this wonderful information!!! Hopefully I'm applying as I learn. Thank you all.)

  20. Good morning Seekerville! Welcome Jill! Count me among those who are fans and have your book. It is a struggle to write in a deep POV but it is worth it. There is a substantial difference in my writing when I do it, so thank you!

    I do have a question. Whenever the POVC is praying, I have the suggestion from some in my critique group change the words of the prayer to italics. I have to admit, I have not noticed this particular usage amongst the various Love Inspired titles that I have read; is this correct? Thanks!


  21. OOOH - and I have to share. :) Yesterday afternoon, everything was submitted to the book manufacturer. Will have it in hand before Thanksgiving! WAHOO!

  22. Welcome Jill, and thanks for sharing this much-needed (for MOI!) post. A definite keeper, because this is an area where I can always use extra help. ~ Congratulations on your upcoming book. Please enjoy the Georgia Peach muffins I baked this morning--they go great with Helen's coffee! ~ KC, CONGRATS on your news! ~ Blessings, Patti Jo

  23. Congratulations May and KC!!!! Nice holiday present!!

  24. I try to look for words that name an emotion. When I find them I change them to show the emotion which is much more intimate.

    I think it's difficult to name authors who do Deep POV well because when you do it well, it is seamless.

  25. I need a blog about every 2 weeks on deep pov before it will finally seek in.

    It sounds so easy, but my writing automatically jumps to shallow pov and I know the only way it become easier is to keep working on it.

    Great examples Jill and you make it sound so easy.

    Connie Queen

  26. Welcome to Seekerville Jill, You gave us some great examples of deep POV.

    I wish I"d known you years ago when editors/contest judges mentioned "deep POV" LOL

    Its so nice to know what these terms mean and to have examples that show us.

    I"ve been reading Julie's book A LOVE SURRENDERED and she does a marvelous job with deep POV.

  27. Wonderful post today! BTW, please don't enter me in the drawing because I already have a copy, compliments of Seekerville.

    I devoured this book over the summer, and it has helped my writing immensely. I need to re-read it soon. :)

    I appreciate the points and the examples you shared today. Thanks, Jill!

  28. I have the book already. :)

    Haven't read the whole thing yet. Need to as I work on edits.

    At the dentist with four kids. Pray for me. And their teeth.

  29. Hi Jill,

    I've read your book and it's a huge help in understanding Deep POV, especially because you include so many great examples!

    I love that you said: The expert user of Deep POV will know that there are times to “tell.”

    I agree - there are times you just have to tell some things. Figuring out when to do this is the challenge!

    And Sandra, you're so right! Julie's books are what first gave me the light bulb moment of what Deep POV was. Before that I was scratching my head! LOL.

    Thanks for coming!


  30. i DO NOT want to be entered in the drawing as i am a reader, not a writer, but am enjoying the posts, anyways.

  31. Great post on deep POV--my thoughts echo yours very well. I'd love to read your book, too. As well as finding out how the biker scene ends!

  32. Jill, thank you so much for such a thorough explanation of deep POV! While it didn't take me long to grasp the concept of single POV in my early writing days, deep POV has been more of an uphill climb.

    As Debra Marvin said, "One thing I do is look for all the filtering words like felt, saw, watched, heard, wondered, etc." That's something I'm paying lots more attention to as well. It's gotten to where it really bugs me in my pleasure reading to come upon a phrase something like:

    Where were his glasses, he wondered.

    Please. Just "Where were his glasses?" is plenty.

    Going now to check out your book, Jill!

  33. Please put me in the drawing. This is great stuff! The excerpts clearly illustrate the principles.

    Would you say Janet Evanovich writes her Stephanie Plum books in Deep POV?

  34. Thanks for the great tips on deep POV. I've been working on this lately, and it's transformed my writing. Would love a chance to win the book. It sounds fab! :)

  35. Super post! Deep Pov is always a fun challenge with each new story and you explain it so well here. Thanks for the post!

  36. Please put me in the drawing. Thanks for the instruction and examples. I've been reading some books with excellent Deep POV and it really makes a difference getting you into the story.

  37. What a practical post! I love learning by examples of what to do and what not to do.


  38. So happy to be here! Greetings to everyone. I'm delighted my post could be of help, and super-jazzed to see that many of you already have copies of my Deep POV book.

    Congrats to KC! Big step!

    Just to let you know: Rivet Your Readers with Deep POV goes FREE on Kindle this Saturday and Sunday in honor of my birthday.

  39. I have your book and it has been really helpful. Thanks for writing it!

  40. PLEASE enter me in the drawing! I really want that book, and the examples were fabulous. I'm posting this to my FB author page.

    Karen Ball can do deep POV alright. She gave an example in her workshop with Tamela Hancock Murray at conference last month and when she was finished, I thanked God I don't have asthma and prayed to be able to write more LIKE THAT. =)

    Thanks for being in Seekerville and sharing this today, Jill.

    *HUGS to my Seekerville peeps*

  41. Jill, I had so much fun reading your post and book excerpts, and am dee-lighted to know that Deep POV solves the show/tell dilemma! Would love to be entered for a copy of your book!

    I agree with several other commenters that I have to find out how the biker scene ends! Love the imagery of the leader's reddish beard, rippling tattoos, and motor-like voice.

  42. Hi Jill. Sorry to be so slow stopping in this morning. Love this. I really love deep POV and it's so hard to explain to anyone. You did a great job and the book sounds like a terrific idea.

  43. I have this great book and I have to say its helped me to learn about POV, something I struggles with until I read this book.

    I have told everybody I know about the book because I love it so....I carry it with me.

    Thanks for sharing....


  44. I remember a judge in a contest unpubbed contest...commenting that I had a passage in the mule's POV.
    It went something like heroine Sophie's POV....
    Hector would save his own life by getting out of this creek and if he saved the rest of them along with himself, well, that was of no interest to him.

    I was very susceptible to a judge's comments and changed that line but even then I thought, "No way, that's in Sophie's POV, she just really knows how her stubborn, cantankerous old mule thinks."

    Anyway, I've already remembered it because I thought it was a funny line and I felt forced to change it.

    Clearly, I haven't exactly gotten over it yet!!!!!!!!

  45. Welcome to Seekerville, Jill. Thanks for your fabulous post on Deep POV and your excellent examples!! I don't use "she thought" but have used "she wondered" a few times for emphasis. I need to rethink that. The main difficulty is to find fresh ways to show feelings and totally eliminate that pesky telling. You have a lot of fans for your craft book. Will check it out.


  46. Jill is WONDERFUL. And I have this book in both the paper AND e-version. And NEED it.

  47. Hi Jill! I always love your posts on deep POV. Each time I learn something new or simply better understand.

    I'm reading Dee Henderson's Full Disclosure which is in deep POV but yet there's a bit of a detached feel. I think this is based on her word choices and sentence structure, but it's undergirds the story, about two people, both cops who investigate murder and thus have to be detached in order to be good at what they do. Feels like she put the reader in the character's mind as opposed to hearing someone talk about the character's mindset. That's what I think of when I think of deep POV.

  48. Jill and I once spent a long weekend in Minneapolis doing book signings together, along with several other authors, Susan May Warren, Judy Baer, Sharon Hinck, Cyndy Salzmann, Susie Larson. I met Erica Vetch on that trip and Bev Snyder and Brenda Anderson.
    A lot of it is lost in the mists of time (also swallowed up by my extreme NERVOUSNESS on my first ever book signing)
    But it was great getting to spend time with authors, Jill.

  49. LOVE this book! Jill does an outstanding job making a somewhat complex POV issue simpler and doable. I own this gem and am going to reread it again while doing edits. Am guilty of some things like Janet said, mainly for emphasis, and I need to stop that!!

    Pls don't enter me in the drawing as I already own this - am thrilled others will, too:)

  50. Great information! I'm printing this one out. Thanks, Jill.

  51. Hi Jill,
    Wanted to tell you that you've changed my writing. I own both the electronic version and a hard copy of your book and I've recommended it to a bunch of writer friends. It really changed the way I write. In fact, I read your book as I was mid-way in a WIP and when I finished that WIP and went back, I could see a definite delineation between the before and after of reading your book. Thanks for such a great craft book!

  52. I was just reading through a msc and stopped totally confused. WHOSE POV is this anyhow. I think reading out loud really helps with POV issues and clarity and deepening.

    How does everyone else review their own mscs when it's revision time?

  53. I usually think of Suz Brockman when I think of Deep POV, now revising that to think of Jill as well.

    I think of a camera on the head of the POV voice character. Or I think of Madame Zelda. Channel them Dahling! Channel them!!

    Of course if you are going to act it all out to get deep in the pov I reccomend being alone lest observers think you are nuts.

  54. Hi Jill! So nice to see you here in Seekerville! Wonderful post!! A great reminder! Writers are sure to benefit from reading your book :)

  55. oooh! Jill you have lots of fans here today. I would love to hear how your Amazon number moved after today's post. I am one of those people who love to jump on a craft book when someone in Seekerville tells us about it.

    If I didn't have it, I'd be buying it right now.

    Another often criticized POV 'error' is when the pov's face reddens. Sure they can't see it but we know they can feel it. Sigh.Yes, it can be done incorrectly but...

  56. wow. i understand deep POV so much better for having read this post. my reference library is very lacking, so i will toss my name into the ring.

    thank you so much for sharing with us today. i always feel much smarter after visiting Seekerville... well, after feeling dumb for not knowing about the subject matter, that is.

    i am so loving the birthday month posts. sort of Seekerville on steroids (all legally used with the Great Physician's guidance, of course *heh*).

  57. This book changed my writing in such a huge way. By far, it's absolutely the best book I have ever read on POV. Not only does she describe what POV is, she offers the best examples on how to to it. Yet another example of show not tell!!

    I highly recommend this book to every writer.

  58. Tina, I like to do read alouds into a recorder because I hear so much as I'm reading (and can make notes like tighten this,etc.) and I hear even more when I play it back.

    In the romance I'm writing, I want the hero and heroine POV to be immediately picked up in a few sentences. I want their characters to be so distinct that with a few lines of narrative, anywhere in the scene, the reader would know if it's him or her.

  59. Oh, I've missed Seekerville this week.

    Jill, thanks so much for being here! You've delved deeply (ahahahahahahahahah) into a very "DEEP" topic.


    Okay, sorry, a little punch drunk.

    I love that some folks (Jill) can describe this...

    I will admit to feeling just as out-of-my-element as I do when Grammar Queen stops in...

    Or someone randomly talks GMC...

    And I refuse to frown over the whole thing because frowning causes wrinkles and ANTI-WRINKLE CREAM IS PRICEY!!! USE IT SPARINGLY AND SMILE A LOT!!!

    Now that theory is clear as a bell on a Sunday church morning.

    It's mid-afternoon here, time for fresh coffee.... and tea.... and Cokes!

    And I'm making Jeanne T's Flourless Chocolate Cake to feature at the Yankee Belle Cafe tomorrow, so the house smells like delicious chocolatey goodness!

    And that's good in any POV, LOL!

  60. WELCOME TO SEEKERVILLE, JILL, AND WOW ... I'm embarrassed to say this, but this is the FIRST time I've really ever FULLY understood when Deep POV has been explained to me, so GREAT JOB!! This is definitely a printer-offer, girl.

    By the way, LOVE your excerpts!!



    Gosh, I'm sitting here reading Jill's post and thinking, "Uh-oh ... I don't do deep POV ... and here both of yo think I do!! Good to know ... I don't feel so bad right now ... ;)


  62. From one Jill to another...Fantastic! I believe I'm finally grasping the concept of Deep POV. The examples and your explanations made it much easier for me to understand. This will certainly go into my Seekerville notebook ~ Thanks!

  63. *UPDATE...Jill has just announced that, starting tomorrow and on Sunday, Rivet Your Reader with Deep POV is FREE FREE FREE. Because of that we will change our five copies giveaway to a ONE HUNDRED PERCENT GIVEAWAY, THANKS TO JILL'S GENEROSITY. Wait until tomorrow, then go get your copy FREE.

  64. Jill, I've had my paper copy of Rivet Your Readers for a while ... with quite a few yellow highlights. The worksheets at the end of chapters and the sample answers you provide were a great help ... I learn best by example :-)

    Thanks for sharing what you learned.

    Nancy C

  65. Tina -- about reviewing manuscripts ... One of the things I do is randomly pick a starting place and see if I understand who the POV character is. If I don't -- and I wrote the thing -- I figure the reader doesn't have a chance. For some reason I also tend to pick up author intrusion when I randomly pick a starting place.

    I also like to have the computer read it to me. Hearing the computer try to pronounce some names is giggle-worthy.

    Nancy C

  66. Ooo, I'm late to this party!!

    Thanks for coming here, Jill. This was such a good post on deep POV. And funny!

    I needed this post about 5 years ago. :D

    I wrote a whole book with crazy, sloppy POV. It's such a mess its probably not even worth my time saving!

    Thanks for these great posts, Seekerville!

  67. Here I was thinking, aw, shucks, I'm not eligible to win, and then Jill says it's free tomorrow!


    I win after all!

    Actually, we've already won today with such a great post about Deep POV from Jill. Thanks!

  68. Wow! I'm overwhelmed by so much love! Thanks to you all. It's great being here. I'm honored. Many of you I know, and I'm glad to meet many new friends too. My hope and prayer always is to bless and help my fellow writers.

    Special wave to Mary Coneally. It was so much fun palling around and critting at the get-together in MN a few years ago. I think of that special retreat often.

  69. Also, special thanks to those of you who have read the book and are recommending it to others. I've taught this technique for years in workshops, but got frustrated by the narrow reach. Putting the lessons in booklet form seemed the best answer to the issue, but it takes all of you who have found the book helpful to let others know it's available. This weekend would be a good time for your writing buddies to snap it up FREE! To see copies going to good homes would be a great birthday present for me. ;-)

  70. Free is such a lovely word!!!!

    And this book is so valuable. Tell everyone!@!!!

  71. Hi Jill,
    I printed this up and found it very informative on POV. I am getting your book and looking forward to it.

  72. I brought cookies....

    I understand things better with cookies on hand.

    And how cool that Jill's book will be free tomorrow??????

    OH MY STARS!!!!!

    Free is my second favorite, well, third favorite word!


    Lovin' on this. So CONNEALY is this on Amazon?????

    And it's e-reader, right?


  73. Wow! Thanks for the great news Mary! I'm so excited!

  74. Hi, Jill! It's great to see you here! I have told several people about your Deep POV book! It really helps to see your examples. I still remember how you helped me to understand Deep POV and Show Don't Tell years ago when I entered my book in a contest and you were my judge. That was so awesome! I was so grateful you took the time to explain to me what Deep POV was and how to apply it to my book! Thanks a million!

  75. Free! That is so generous. I wish I had a Kindle at times like this. Arghhh! Well, at least I've already read the book. I had a copy, read it, loved it and passed it to a friend who was struggling with POV. Knowledge must be passed on.

    Thank you so much for the post!

  76. Hi, Jill! Thanks for all the information about deep POV. POV is one of the hardest things to learn, I think.

  77. If you don't have a Kindle you can download it to your computer!!!

  78. I have Deep POV on my Kindle. I started reading it for the second time this week. It is very helpful!

    I am going to be sure to get Betrayal on the Border. It will be a great example of deep POV, no doubt!

  79. Congratulations KC and May!!! Sounds like it will be available for Christmas!

  80. Fantastic post! And I don't have the book--well, I won't have it until tomorrow. Yay and thank you again, reading this got me totally jazzed for my evening writing session.

  81. Virginia, I re read the craft books that target my weak areas, over and over and over again.

  82. Again, thanks so much for hosting me here and for the warm and wonderful reception. I hope for many downloads over the weekend! Just a note to those of you who don't own a Kindle. I don't own a Kindle either, though my phone has the app. It's also FREE to download the Kindle app onto any PC. So no excuses for not grabbing a copy of RYRwDPOV! ;-)

  83. This was SO helpful to see the right/wrong ways side-by-side! Really appreciated these reminders as I'm working on another book. I generally write in first person POV, which should make it easier, but sometimes I do find myself using words that distance myself from the MC. Thanks for the great post!

  84. Jill, I'm late. But thanks so much for being with us and for your excellent post!

  85. It's Saturday morning and I'm already trying to download. :-)

  86. Fascinating & most insightful thank you.

  87. Very informative post. Thank you. I appreciate the free book too! I downloaded it. :)

  88. POV/Deep POV has been a challenge for me, so I'm headed to Kindle!

    Thanks for the great post and for the book!

  89. I would love to win, Enter me!!
    Thanks for the giveaway and God Bless!!
    Sarah Richmond

  90. Thanks again to the Seekers--Glynna, Julie, Missy, Ruth, cara, Mary, Janet, Tina, Pam, Myra, Debby, sandra, and Audra--for hosting me here. Delighted to read that some of you are already busy downloading the free Kindle copy this morning. :-)

    Blessings on your writing for Him!

    Have a great weekend!

  91. Fantastic incite on Deep POV! Thanks Jill!