I am the kind of person who doesn't like to miss out. If something is happening, I want an invite. And even though I tend to be an introvert, I love people and I want to be part of the fun. I also don't want to fall behind. But despite those desires, I often do. I joke about being the mom who forgets things at school and never knows when there's something going on. I am a mess! I am often out of the loop and struggling to catch up.
The last year has been emotional for me. I lost a dear friend to cancer and I really struggled with writing. I don't know if it was writer's block or grief or really what it was. But I was very hard on myself. I would think that person over there is ahead of you. They have more books out than you do. They write faster than you do. They must not be a big sloth like you are. And then I would sit back and listen to those thoughts. I knew they were lies from the enemy. I knew they were not the truth. Because this is the truth: God has always been in charge of my writing. What I thought would happen has almost never happened. At first I thought I would write non-fiction. I wrote fiction. Then I thought I would write fiction. I wrote non-fiction. But what he has had planned is what has worked. I often fight and kick and scream against whatever God asks of me. I'd love to say that I don't do that, but then I’d just be hiding something from you. But God always brings me around. I'll let you in on a little secret…he always ends up winning. Even when I think I'm going to sneak by with my own plans, he turns things around for his glory.
No matter what ways I feel attacked, deep in my soul, I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Over the past year, I have had to constantly remind myself that I am not in control. That I don't write for myself. I write because I think this is what God is asking me to do (and yes, I also love it). I'm thankful for this dream he's planted and cultivated. And then I have to trust. I get to trust that I am not in control. He is.
I watched this fabulous clip of Beth Moore the other day. She was talking about how we as Christians are so worried that we're not going to know the will of God. Like we're going to miss it—whatever it is. Whatever we're supposed to be doing. She said (I’m paraphrasing) you won't miss it if you are at all in line with God. If you love him and are seeking him, he is not going to let you miss it. He will direct you to do his will. Of course there's still a choice in that. But her words gave me so much comfort. There is someone greater than us at work here. My writing career is not dependent on me cranking out books at a certain speed or keeping up with the person next to me. My writing career is about doing what God has planned. I am exactly where I am supposed to be according to him. It's me who compares my journey to others. God is not worried about what anyone else is doing. Our plan is just that—our plan. His plan plus me obeying. And yes, sometimes I wonder what that plan is. I pray and I ask—and maybe he doesn't answer as quickly as I would like—but I choose to trust and believe he is with me and will guide me.
Perhaps this is your season to write. Perhaps this is your season to take a break no matter what anybody thinks about it. Perhaps you have little children and your writing time is squelched when you put them first. Other people's books are coming out faster than yours. Perhaps you are in a dry season and you have been waiting and waiting for God to answer and you don't hear him. You are waiting for the contract that doesn’t come, and it is breaking you. I don't claim to know why he asks us to walk certain paths. I only know he is with us in it. That even when we don't understand his plan, HE knows exactly what he's doing.
So today instead of wondering if I'm getting it right or where I'm going wrong, I'm going to say thanks. Thank you, God, for this day, this season, this exact step that you have your hand on. Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for the next step. Thank you that I'm not alone in this journey. And thanks for the beautiful gift of writing. For the love of words that stems in each of us. May we be at peace with exactly where we are.
Let's talk. Was there a time when you thought life was going to go one way and it went another--and you were surprised by how things turned out for the better?
Jill brought her May release with her, and one commenter will win a copy of Her Texas Family. Winner announced in the Weekend Edition.
Jill Lynn Buteyn is a co-author of Just Show Up with Kara Tippetts, and an author of inspirational romance (as Jill Lynn). Her latest release, Her Texas Family, is in stores now. Jill lives near the beautiful Rocky Mountains with her husband and two children. She’s a fan of laughter, thrift stores, boots and chocolate. Connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JillLynnAuthor, Twitter: https://twitter.com/JillLynnAuthor, Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jilllynnauthor/, Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/JillLynnAuthor/, and at Jill-Lynn.com.
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Falling for the Single Dad
Moving to a small Texas town, Lucy Grayson is looking to live life on her own terms. When she agrees to take a job in Doctor Graham Redmond's office, the two instantly clash. The same can't be said for the widower's daughter. They quickly form a bond when Lucy begins teaching the little girl to dance. Graham soon realizes how good Lucy is for his daughter—and for him. Yet his late wife's parents don't agree. Their ultimatum to choose between them or Lucy fills Graham with despair. He can't let his daughter lose her grandparents…but he also can't lose the woman who could complete their family.