2 Questions to Ask to be Sure Your Scene Matters - Guest Blogger Stephanie Morrill

Erica Vetsch here...I am so thrilled to host my friend Stephanie Morrill here at Seekerville today. Stephanie was one of my very first writing friends. We met...fourteen or fifteen years ago (How can that be when she still looks 22?) at the Florida Christian Writer's Conference. We made some great memories and have been friends ever since. Stephanie is the co-creator of the wildly successful website/blog Go Teen Writer and while she made her mark in Christian Fiction with contemporary YA fiction, she's recently made the leap to historical fiction (Welcome to the dark side, Stephanie!)

She's a terrific writer and excellent communicator. Please help me welcome Stephanie Morrill to Seekerville today!

2 Questions To Ask To Be Sure Your Scene Matters

I’m the type of writer who typically loves the editing process, even though it’s also the part that I find most challenging. No longer can I say, “I don’t know what’s supposed to happen here, so I’ll just do my best and fix it later.” Nor can I put off finding the answer to my most elusive research questions. Basically, no more slacking off!

This is also when I have to be brutally honest about individual scenes in the book and ask the probing questions: Is it working? Is it not working? Does it move the story forward? Am I starting in the right place? Did I end in a way that will make readers turn the page?

A few times when editing Within These Lines, my recent WWII young adult release, I came across a scene that just wasn’t working like it should. The book is a love story between an Italian American teenage girl and a Japanese American teenage boy who are torn apart when the U.S. government sends the Japanese to concentration camps. So I had no shortage of good character and plot stuff to fill my scenes with, but even still sometimes a scene would just feel . . . off.

Finally, I had a breakthrough when I noticed a pattern about my character’s expectations and decisions. (Or, rather, their lack thereof.)

I learned to ask myself two simple questions to transform my Not Quite Right scenes into scenes that really mattered:

1.      What does my character expect?

2.     What decisions does my character make?

“What does my character expect to happen?”

This is the first question that I realized I wasn’t asking, thanks to a post from K.M. Weiland about … something. I scrolled back through her archives trying to figure out what lesson of hers prompted this discovery, and I can’t find it. So the credit goes to K.M. Weiland of Helping Writers Become Authors, but I can’t link to it. (Sorry, Katie!)

Her point was that there should be a gap in what the character expects to happen and what actually happens. Most of the time I do this instinctively, and you probably do too. Your point of view character will think a conversation is going to go one way, and it won’t. Or she will think it’s an ordinary day, and the unexpected happens.

I realized on my scenes in Within These Lines that weren’t landing like I wanted them to, often my character’s expectations were met. Evalina expected to have a tense conversation with her mother, and that’s what happened. Taichi expected to be treated poorly, and he was.

As I thought about this, I realized that this can work, and it certainly should sometimes. If your characters’ expectations are always wrong, we’ll stop trusting them and their judgment pretty quickly.

So it isn’t that your character needs to be wrong all the time. Instead, you can try applying the, “Yes, but” technique for creating an element of surprise.

Yes, her mom is upset, but it isn’t for the reason she thought it would be.

Yes, her friend has been lying to her, but the betrayal is even worse than she initially expected.

That can work if we want our character to be right about something. Frequently, however, our characters should be surprised. Here are a few examples from stories you are likely familiar with:

Lightning McQueen expects to win the race, but instead it’s a three-way tie. (Cars)

Elizabeth Bennett expects to have an enjoyable evening at the ball with Mr. Wickham, but Wickham doesn’t show up. (Pride and Prejudice)

Katniss expects Peeta to be on her side, but he’s teamed up with the Careers. (The Hunger Games)

In my scenes that didn’t work as well as they ought, it happened for one of these three reasons:

1.      I hadn’t given myself time to show my character’s expectations, so when they shattered, the impact wasn’t as strong.

2.     My character had no expectations.

3.     Things happened exactly as my character anticipated, so there was no element of surprise.

So that’s the first question you can start with. The next one I identified is this:

“What decision does my character make in this scene?”

Andy Stanley says, “Decision by decision, you are writing the story of your life.” Initially, I latched onto this as a tool for making better decisions in my personal life, but as I worked on a problematic scene, I realized, “In this scene, Evalina isn’t deciding anything that affects her life story.”

Sometimes we choose to zoom in on little decisions our character’s make. Like in the 2003 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice when Jane is delighted over her engagement to Mr. Bingley, and she expresses a longing for her sister to find true love too. Lizzy makes a small, beautiful decision to keep the focus on Jane and her happiness. Instead of spilling about Mr. Darcy, she teases, “Maybe Mr. Collins has a cousin.”

Purposefully making a small moment into something big can be very effective, but unless we’re very intentionally choosing that, then our character needs to make a noteworthy decision within each scene. Even if it’s just a renewed commitment to “stay the course.”

And a lot of times—I’m going to be so bold as to say almost all the time—this noteworthy decision should be based on whatever shift happened in their expectations.

Using the same examples from before, let’s take a look at the decisions that resulted:

In Cars, Lightning McQueen expected to win the race, but instead it’s a three-way tie. And so he decides to get to California as fast as he can for the tie-breaking race so he can rub shoulders with VIPs.

In Pride and Prejudice, Lizzy expected to have a nice evening at the ball with Mr. Wickham, but he doesn’t show up. And so when Mr. Darcy asks her to dance, she says yes.

In The Hunger Games, Katniss expects Peeta to be an ally, but instead he teams up with the Careers. And so Katniss gives up on loyalty to him, too.

That phrase, ”And so,” is the key to creating compelling character motivation. It’s also the way you make sure each scene matters.

If you’re writing a first draft, take a look at your next scene. What does your POV character expect to happen, and what will actually happen? What decision will your character make as a result?

If you’re currently editing a manuscript, try pulling out a random scene later in the novel (those early chapters tend to get the bulk of our attention!) and ask the same questions.

Stephanie Morrill writes books about girls who are on an adventure to discover their unique place in the world. She is the author of several contemporary young adult series, as well as the 1920s mystery, The Lost Girl of Astor Street, and the WWII era romance, Within These Lines. Since 2010, Stephanie has been encouraging the next generation of writers at her website, GoTeenWriters.com. She lives in the Kansas City area, where she loves plotting big and small adventures to enjoy with her husband and three children. You can connect with Stephanie and learn more about her books at StephanieMorrill.com, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

About Within These Lines: Evalina Cassano’s life in an Italian-American family living in San Francisco in 1941 is quiet and ordinary until she falls in love with Taichi Hamasaki, the son of Japanese immigrants. Despite the scandal it would cause and that inter-racial marriage is illegal in California, Evalina and Taichi vow they will find a way to be together. But anti-Japanese feelings erupt across the country after the attack on Pearl Harbor, and Taichi and his family are forced to give up their farm and move to an internment camp.

Degrading treatment makes life at Manzanar Relocation Center difficult. Taichi’s only connection to the outside world is treasured letters from Evalina. Feeling that the only action she can take to help Taichi is to speak out against injustice, Evalina becomes increasingly vocal at school and at home. Meanwhile, inside Manzanar, fighting between different Japanese-American factions arises. Taichi begins to doubt he will ever leave the camp alive.

With tensions running high and their freedom on the line, Evalina and Taichi must hold true to their ideals and believe in their love to make a way back to each other against unbelievable odds.

You can get your copy of Within These Lines on amazon.com, Christianbook.com, and wherever EXCELLENT fiction is sold!