If life were as easy as a Disney movie, all of us would’ve figured out how to “let it go” after Elsa’s stirring and emotional power ballad. It feels like something we ought to know how to do, especially once we reach a certain age, but letting go isn’t as easy as the song suggests.
When I began work on my upcoming novel Just Let Go, I prepared with that in mind—the fact that so many of us (myself
included) struggle to let go. I’m not sure why it’s human nature to hold on to
things, but whether it’s tickets from your very first concert (New Kids on the
Block) or a hurt that happened ages ago, we are collectors.
And some things we’re collecting are doing more
harm than good. Here are five things to let go of today.
1. Grudges
Okay, this one’s a bit
obvious. After all, it’s biblical to forgive and move on. But just because
something is obvious doesn’t mean it’s easy, and letting go of the way we felt
when someone hurt us is no small feat. We all have different methods for
dealing with our pain, and when someone hurts us—especially when they don’t
apologize—it can eat us up inside if we let it. We can’t let it. The hurt then
compounds and becomes something even more damaging. Forgiveness, though
sometimes hard to give, is always the best way to move forward.
2. Regrets
I think of regrets as grudges
we hold against ourselves. It’s so easy to replay our mistakes on a continuous
loop in our minds, but friends, this is a path to destruction. We all make
mistakes, but dwelling on them is no way to live. Your past doesn’t determine
your future unless you let it. Choose to forgive yourself, to ask for
forgiveness if necessary, and make amends—and then move on as best you can. If
God is love and love keeps no record of wrongs, then we shouldn’t either.
3. Unmet expectations
You know how it goes. You’re
expecting something really amazing to happen—a job or promotion you’ve been
waiting for, a proposal from a significant other, a pregnancy, a positive
report . . . the list goes on—and that thing that’s supposed to
change your life never comes. They hire someone else. He decides it’s time to
move on. You never see that purple “plus sign.” We all have disappointments. We
all have those things we were counting on or hoping for that don’t come
through. But if you stop and look back, it may be that the closed door was
actually there to guide you on your path. What if God has a different job, a
spouse more suited to you, better timing for a pregnancy? These unmet
expectations can turn into bitterness so easily if we cling to them with both
hands. This is when “letting go” becomes synonymous with “trusting God.”
Because even when it’s hard, he’s still got our very best interests at heart.
4. Control
Some of us struggle with this
one more than others do. Some of us want to be in control of every aspect of
our lives. The heroine in Just Let Go
is neat and orderly and likes everything in its place—but life doesn’t always allow
for that. Sometimes we have to let others take the lead. Sometimes we have to
lay our will down in front of Jesus and let him
take the lead. Life is about the give and take, and needing control in
every situation is a sure recipe for disappointment. Control freaks may not
find it very easy to give up their own will. Start small. Let someone else
choose the restaurant. Let your kids load the dishwasher and don’t rearrange
everything before starting it. Then move on to the bigger things one day at a
time.
5. Perfection
Our world is full of images and phrases and
people who will try to make us feel like we are not good enough, smart enough,
pretty enough, skinny enough. I thought this would go away after high school,
but I’m forty-two and I still battle these feelings. Perfection is unattainable.
It’s such a no-brainer, and yet it bears repeating—perfection is unattainable. Why, then, do we strive for the perfect
home, the perfect marriage, the perfect career, the perfect body? We have this
standard (set by whom?) that we think we need to attain. Friends, it’s time to
let go of that. We will never be perfect. Life will never be perfect. And you
know what? That’s okay. It’s not meant to be. Instead of striving for
perfection, strive for goodness. Strive for happiness. Strive to please your
heavenly Father instead of the strangers on the internet. And revel a little in
the messiness of life . . . after all, that’s what makes it fun!
Letting go, in all of its forms, is tricky and
challenging, and it takes practice. Day by day, little by little, if you find
ways to let go of these things, life will be fuller and more relaxed.
Can you think of one thing you’re holding on to
that you could let go of today? Maybe we could take baby steps together?
For Quinn Collins, buying the flower shop in
downtown Harbor Pointe, Michigan, fulfills a childhood dream but also gives her
the chance to follow in the footsteps of her mother, who owned the store before
leaving town twenty years ago and never looking back. Completing much-needed
renovations, however, while also preparing for a prestigious flower competition
with her mother as the head judge, soon has Quinn in over her head. Not that
she’d ever ask for help.Luckily, she may not need to. Quinn’s father and his meddling friends find the perfect solution in notorious Olympic skier Grady Benson, who had only planned on passing through the old-fashioned lakeside town. But when a heated confrontation leads to property damage, helping Quinn as a community service sentence seems like the quickest way out—and the best way to avoid more negative press.
Quinn finds Grady reckless and entitled; he thinks she’s way too uptight. Yet as the two begin working together, Quinn sees glimpses of the vulnerability behind the bravado, and Grady learns from her passion and determination, qualities he seems to have lost in his pursuit of Olympic gold. When a well-intentioned omission has devastating consequences, Grady finds himself cast out of town—and Quinn’s life—possibly forever. Forced to face the hurt holding her back, Quinn has to choose: let go or risk missing the adventure of a lifetime.
Includes discussion questions.
You can find out more and to purchase the book on Tyndale's website HERE.
Tyndale House Publishers is giving away one copy of Just Let Go to one reader. Just leave a comment for Courtney or whatever you'd like to share to enter. Winner will be announced in the Seekerville WE this Saturday. (Sorry, US mailing addresses only.)
