Revealing Emotion Using Show vs Tell

 

Hello everyone, Winnie Griggs here. I’ve got a really busy schedule for the next week or so, mainly due to an upcoming release (yaaay!) so I will apologize for the brevity of this post.

What I thought I'd do today is give you a short refresher on how to reveal emotion using show vs tell techniques. Showing emotion rather than simply telling what your character is feeling allows readers to experience characters' feelings along with them, fostering a deeper connection to your characters and so your story..

Let's look at four techniques to help you accomplish this.

1. Use Physical Descriptions:
   Often, our bodies reflect our emotions. A character who is angry might clench their fists, while someone who is nervous could tap their foot incessantly. Instead of saying "Joan was sad," you could write, "Tears welled up in Joan's eyes as she stared at the empty room."
   
   
2.  Dialogue and Voice:
   The way characters speak can reveal their emotional state. A happy character may speak quickly or laugh a lot, while a worried character might stutter or trail off. Consider this example: instead of writing "Emma was worried about her exam," you could show her asking her friend, "Do you think...what if I don't pass?"
   
   
3.  Inner Thoughts and Feelings:
   Getting inside a character's head can be an effective way to show their emotions. Rather than telling the reader, "Jake was angry at his boss," you might write, "Jake replayed his boss's words over and over in his mind, each repetition fueling his simmering resentment."
   
   
4.  Actions and Reactions:
   How your character acts and reacts can say a lot about their emotional state. Instead of stating "Lisa was excited," write, "Lisa couldn't sit still. She kept checking the time, her heart pounding each time the minute hand jumped forward."

Remember, the key to showing emotion is subtlety. It's about painting a picture that allows the reader to infer the characters' feelings from their actions, dialogue, and internal monologues. Practice these techniques, and you'll find your characters coming alive with emotional depth and authenticity.

 What do you think of the above points - do you agree with them? Can you think of other techniques to show a character’s emotion without naming it?  Leave a comment to be entered in a drawing for one of my backlist books.

And speaking of new releases :) Disarming His Heart releases on the 20th! It's the 6th book in the really fun multi-author Pink Pistol Sisterhood series but it can definitely be read as a standalone. The series follows the journey of a one-of-a-kind pistol with supposed matchmaking properties. The first book opens in 1894 and the eleventh and final one takes place in the current day. Mine takes place in 1911. Here's a bit more about it.

DISARMING HIS HEART

A sharpshooter hiding her identity. A preacher with a guilty past. Will secrets ruin their shot at love?

Violet Taylor leads a double life. She performs in a traveling show as the mysterious Masked Marvel, a daring and commanding sharpshooter. But in real life, she holds back and allows others to lead the way. When an accident puts her arm in a sling, she has to scramble to protect the secret of her identity as the Masked Marvel. So she enlists the help of her identical twin sister, a “townie” dressmaker, to secretly swap places until her arm heals. But that means she must also take on her sister’s role as director of a children’s church program. There’s just one hitch. Her sister sweet on Pastor Carson, the program’s codirector, so Violet has to make sure not to mess anything up with him.

Pastor Carson Davis became guardian to an orphaned nine-year-old six months ago and has been struggling to build a relationship with the boy ever since. It’s to the point where he’s begun to wonder if he’s even fit to be a pastor. Could finding himself a wife who’d be a proper mother figure for his foster son be the solution?

As Violet and Carson work together on the children’s program the attraction between them grows. But awareness of her sister’s feelings and guilt over her deception hold Violet back.
Little does she know that Carson is harboring secrets of his own…

ORDER LINK

 

Eliciting Emotion in your Characters and Your Reader

Hello everyone, Winnie Griggs here.

Back in Jan 2018 I wrote a post here on Seekerville about a workshop I was developing on the subject of evoking Emotion. It was just a rough outline at that point with a few of the bullet points filled in. Well, last month, I along with two other authors, gave that workshop at RWA Nationals in New York so I thought I’d do a follow up post with the other elements I developed for the presentation.

So here it is:

One of the ingredients that will take your story from good to great is the infusion of organic, realistic, believable emotions. It’s what causes the readers to care about your protagonists and what draws them into the story and turning the pages.

Marion Bauer put it this way: "People read fiction in order to feel, to have strong feelings in a context of safety. The thrill of danger without the threat of harm. Cleansing tears, but without loss. Even laughter, dignity intact."

What I want to do today is give you a few tools to use to effectively evoke emotion

Before I start, though, I need to say that most of the examples I’ll be using here will be from my own work, not because I think I do it better by any means, but simply because I knew right where to go to pull specific examples.

The items I covered in the January 2018 post are:

• The Senses
• Internalization
• Body Language
• Tells

Though I expanded a bit on those for the workshop, I won’t repeat them here. Instead, let’s move on to WORD CHOICE.

Focusing in on specific key details with your Word Choices can indeed affect mood and emotion.

Consider this bit of description from my book A Matter Of Trust:

The heat of the day was softened by the dappled shade of the woods.  She and Toby were out to enjoy  an afternoon of picnicking and berry picking.  Lucy stepped over a knobby root and paused while Toby studied a shiny beetle lumbering up the side of a hickory tree. They’d been strolling along this leaf-carpeted trail for about thirty minutes now, and the creek crossing was just past the bit of leafy brush up ahead.  Some of the choicest blackberries in the county grew there. And Toby deserved to have a bit of fun today.

Now see what happens if I had made some different word choices

The hot summer sun slashed down through the spidery shadows of the too-quiet woods.  She and Toby hoped to spend the afternoon gathering the blood red berries that grew near the old creek.  Lucy stepped over a gnarled root and paused impatiently while Toby eyed a large beetle fleeing up the side of a dying tree. They’d been picking their way along this twisting, rocky trail for about thirty minutes now - thank goodness the creek crossing was just past the clump of thorn bushes up ahead.  Some of the best berries for making her potion grew there.

Though on the surface these are two views of the same scene, just by the word choices made I’ve set two very different moods, evoking different sets of emotions. 

In the first version, the reader will assume that the characters are enjoying themselves and that the outing is a pleasant one. In the second example, the reader sees this as a much more ominous experience for our characters and will feel some level of anxiety about what comes next.

Of course it doesn’t have to be this dramatic. Simply describing someone as crying as opposed to bawling with gut-wrenching sobs, or a sky as cloudy versus one that’s ominously overcast will elicit different depths of emotion from your reader.

Another way to heighten emotion, is to sharpen and focus it for the reader. You can do this by OBJECTIFYING and CONTRASTING the emotion.

To objectify an emotion, you either give it a physical manifestation, such as:

• His words brought the heat to her cheeks
• At the sight of his injury, the bile rose in her throat

Or you can use metaphors and similes

• The look she gave him made him feel like a low down skunk
• The little girl was like a kitten, all soft and playful

Comparing the emotion is just what it sounds like, you compare the emotion the character is feeling to other times when similar feelings arose

• This was more embarrassing than when she walked out of the dressing room with her skirt hem tucked in her waistband
• She was happier than the day her crush had asked her to the prom

You can also contrast the character’s emotion toward a particular person or situation at this point in time to their emotion to the same or similar situation earlier in the story. This would be a good way to show emotional growth.

The next thing I want to talk about today is CHARACTER EMOTION vs READER EMOTION

A well-crafted scene will evoke emotion of some sort, both in the characters on the page and in the reader. 

But, these won’t necessarily be the same, and that’s ok, as long as it’s deliberate.  

A good writer will choreograph her scene to tease the emotions she wants from both the characters and the readers.

This next example is pulled from The Unexpected Bride. The set-up is:  The heroine Elthia and her pet Yorkie have just arrived at her destination via stagecoach and is about to disembark.

She picked up the basket that served as Poppy’s carrier, tightened her hold on her parasol, and shifted forward.  Moving to the door as if it were heaven’s gate itself, she barely avoided a tumble when the coach lurched and then stilled again.

“Ooof!”

She turned to apologize to the passenger she’d inadvertently jabbed with her parasol.  “Mr. Jenkins, I’m so–-”

“Watch out!”

Elthia pivoted, this time carefully pointing her parasol toward the floor.  “Oh dear, Miss Simms, I didn’t mean–-”

The matronly woman gave her a tight smile as she straightened her tipsily-angled hat.  “That’s all right, dear.  This is your stop, isn’t it?  You just go on now.  Don’t want to keep whoever’s meeting you waiting.”

“But–-”

“No, really, just go on.”

Elthia looked around.  Several other passengers were enthusiastically nodding agreement.  Really, this was just the nicest group of people.  Especially considering the fuss Poppy had made with his yipping eagerness to get to know the other passengers this past hour.

She gave them all a big smile, then stepped through the coach door, ready to begin her new life. 

Now we have quite a range of emotions here:

• Elthia is eager to start her new life, is apologetic to the passengers and thinks everyone around her is feeling friendly towards her. 
• The other passengers, if you pick up the subtext here, are irritated and glad to see the last of her and her troublesome dog.
• The reader, if I did my job right, is feeling a bit amused and sympathetic toward our clueless, rose-colored-glasses-wearing heroine

The key here, is to make certain you are aware of these dual perspectives and that you are deliberate in how you nurture them.

What you DON’T want to have happen is to inadvertently craft a scene that you intended to be dramatic but that causes your reader to roll their eyes or snicker, or to craft one you intend to be comical but that falls flat or outrages your reader.

A few final things to consider:

• Deep emotion comes from Character rather than plot. You need to dig deep into your character’s backstory and fully explore their goals, motivations and pain points to find their emotional triggers and to really draw out emotions that feel organic and realistic.
• Authentic emotion also comes from the writer. You need to draw on the emotional landscape of your own life. Remember your first crush, your last big breakup, the birth of a child, the death of a loved one, that time you were alone and the lights went out. Try to remember what your physical reactions were as well as your emotional ones.
• Keep in mind that no emotion is singular. Instead they are a complex blend of several reactions, feelings and perceptions. For example, a student going off to college for the first time might feel eager, anxious, excited, adrift and adventurous all at the same time. 
• And of course, it is always better to show rather than tell. Don’t just say he’s scared, show me the tremble of his hands, the widening of his eyes, the nervous glances he casts over his shoulder
• Make sure there is an appropriate balance of light and dark emotions. Even in a heavy gothic, horror or thriller, there should be some light moments to provide relief and contrast to the heavy grimness that the story requires. And just so, a romantic comedy should have at least a few serious or somber moments.
• Take a look at your story stakes – the higher the stakes, the deeper and more profound the emotions will (or rather should) be
• Ultimately, your reader can forgive many craft and plot issues if you can tap into their emotions with your story. And conversely, you can have a perfectly constructed story from a craft and plot perspective, but if you don’t make your reader feel, if your story is emotionally barren, you will leave them dissatisfied.

There you have it – my take on how to effectively evoke emotion in your writing. Did any of this resonate with you? Do you have some insights or tips that I missed - please share!

Leave a comment to be entered into a drawing for winner's choice of any book from my backlist.

Award winning author Winnie Griggs has written both single title and category romances. She has published with three different houses since her debut in 2001 and has 25 books (and counting) in print.  Her work has won a number of regional and national awards, including an RT Reviewers’ Choice Award. 

Winnie is the wife of a rancher and the mother of four exceptional children.She has a BS in Mathematics with a minor in Computer Science, as well as an advanced degree in the art of procrastination. Winnie is also a list maker, a tea drinker and lover of dragonflies.