Birthing Realistic Characters - The Role of Birth Order in Character Development

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Erica Here: It is my pleasure to host author Lorri Dudley here at Seekerville today! AND to mention that it's release day for her latest book!!! (More info on that, and a chance to win a copy of one of Lorri's books at the end of this post!)

Welcome, Lorri!

Birthing Realistic Characters - The Role of Birth Order in Character Development

We all desire to create authentic characters, whether they’re the girl-next-door or larger-than-life showman that jumps off the page. A great tool to add to our writer’s toolbox is how birth order plays a role in a character’s personality and love interests.

Hungarian psychologist, Alfred Adler, created the theory of birth order in shaping a person’s traits. However, Christian Psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman explains the concept with wit and humor in his Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are. Here’s a short synopsis to help better understand how and why your hero and heroine behave the way they do.

Firstborns tend to fall into three categories: the compliant people pleaser, the reliable, self-driven achiever that seems to feed off high-stress situations, or the exacting uptight rule follower that will spend the weekend re-organizing their kitchen cabinets. A firstborn’s parents tend to overdo it by taking more pictures, worrying about the best baby products, and monitoring their firstborn’s every move. Then a younger sibling (or siblings) comes along, usurping their attention and getting away with murder. Firstborns handle a larger share of the discipline and responsibilities because, let’s face it, if you want someone to unload the dishes from the dishwasher, are you going to ask the oldest or the baby?

Middies often look at the older sibling, decide that avenue has been taken, and branch off in a different or opposite direction. Dr. Leman states that the middle child “may be a pleaser or an antagonizer. He may become a victim or a martyr,” or “He may become a manipulator or a controller” (Leman 152) based on his perception of the older sibling. Middies tend to be diplomats or compromisers who mediate to avoid conflict but can also hold a secretive side. They often have a large friend group to which they are loyal and are great team players. Middle children are the most likely to travel away from home due to their independent, free spirit and tend to be mentally tough, well-adjusted adults.

Last borns are the entertainers, loving the limelight. They can be absentminded, but they’ll charm their way out of any repercussions with their natural sales skills and outgoing personalities. They’re born knowing they are the smallest, weakest, and youngest and desire to be recognized which sets them up to be a joy in the classroom as a sucker for praise or a constant disruption seeking attention. Their older siblings constantly correct them or remind them of their place in the pecking order, creating a rebellious attitude. However, they gain bold confidence, knowing their older siblings will bail them out of sticky situations.

Only children can lead a lonely life but often take on similar traits to the firstborns. Only children can be critical, selfish, and perfectionistic, but also confident, articulate, and independent. They tend to prefer the company of adults or older persons and lean toward being scholarly, high-achieving, free thinkers who can be cautious due to a fear of failure.

In writing books with a love interest, it’s advantageous to know the compatibility of a couple’s birth order (or the combatibility—to coin a new word—of those characteristics). For a peaceful, happier-ever-after, characters should marry outside of birth order. However, pairing same order birth characteristics can produce convincing story conflict. For instance, due to their high perfectionism, two firstborns (or worse, two only children) create a volatile environment as they nit-pick their relationship to death. The peace-at-all-cost perspective of two middies avoiding conflict over time builds a storm, threatening to unleash. And two matched last borns cause chaos due to their fun-loving nature. Someone needs to be the mature one, especially when it comes to spending. Otherwise, the go-for-broke attitude puts the couple into financial debt.

Knowing birth order dynamics is crucial if writing a family series and aids in plot development. For example, in my recent release, The Marquis’s Pursuit, the heroine, Evelyn, is the youngest of three sisters. She holds the daring audacity of a last born, knowing her sisters would rescue her, until she rebels and lands herself into a mess of her own making from which her sisters can’t save her. As a true firstborn, Max, the hero of The Marquis’s Pursuit, feels responsible for the well-being of his ailing friend, Charlie, and desires to protect Charlie’s secretive yet intriguing caretaker.

Don’t panic if you wrote a middle child hero to act like a firstborn or another rule-breaking scenario. There are exceptions to birth order characteristics where other variables come into play. For example, a last born son with three older sisters could behave like a firstborn because he would be the family’s first male. Or, if there is a significant age gap between siblings, the eldest of the younger set could take on the firstborn traits.

As a mother of three sons, I can attest to the validity of birth order. As a firstborn, I’m a self-reliant people pleaser. My firstborn is a driven perfectionist, whereas my middle son is an easy-going, diplomatic team player. My youngest is an outgoing charmer who talked his dad into allowing him to start a car detailing business at the age of eleven.

How do you (or your characters) fall in line (or deviate) with birth order personality traits?

If you’re interested in learning more about Birth Order, I highly recommend Dr. Leman’s Birth Order Book or pick up my recent release, The Marquis Pursuit, available here:

Isn't this a beauty???

 

Lorri Dudley has been a finalist in numerous writing contests and has a master’s degree in Psychology. She lives in Ashland, Massachusetts with her husband and three teenage sons, where writing romance allows her an escape from her testosterone filled household.   

Erica back...As I said, today is release day for Lorri Dudley's beautiful book, The Marquis's Pursuit. You can learn more about Lorri, and enter to win a copy of the first book in this series, The Duke's Refuge, over at the Inspirational Regency Reader's Group on FB. Lorri sat still for an interview with me, and we're giving away a copy of one of her books to celebrate! So leave a comment here on your thoughts about birth order characteristics, then jump over to the IRR, watch the video, and enter to win The Duke's Refuge!

Inspirational Regency Reader Group on FB