Bringing Real Life Into Your Sto

Hello readers! Dana here. I am very pleased that Katy Lee is joining us today! Katy and I met several years ago at a retreat, and we've become great friends since. I always love picking her brain for great ideas. Welcome Katy!

Katy:

We may think our lives are mundane and ordinary, but if we captured all the little moments, whether sweet or heartbreaking, funny and even embarrassing and bottled them up, we would have enough fodder to fill a hundred books or more! And I’m talking about your fiction books.

 

Now, you may say, “Why would I include my personal experiences in my books about other people?” The answer to this question is because when a reader buys your book, they are unconsciously sitting down to connect with YOU. If your voice is distant or speaking from a different level, or if the characters are flat with no relatable substance, the reader will see right away that you as the author have no desire to connect with them. They will put the book down and never sit down with you again.

 

In many circles of life through thousands of years of time, there have always been storytellers. To be selected as the storyteller was an honor. It meant people willingly listened, and because they listened, information was shared and passed on through generations. It also meant the storyteller made the story personal.

 

Take One:

 

“Don’t eat the red berries,” said the leader of the tribe to the children.

 

The children’s curiosity is peaked. Some may sneak off and collect some berries. RIP.

 

Take Two:

 

“Gather around, children, and let me tell you a story. There once was a little girl who was mighty hungry, and she had a day’s walk before she would arrive home. Her mother had told her she was cooking her favorite stew, but the little girl’s tummy rumbled something fierce. She had no more food on her walk, but along the path, she found some red berries. She thought just this once would be all right. Just one berry would be okay, she thought. And so, she ate…one…berry. Soon, her belly hurt worse than before. She cried in pain…until she couldn’t breathe anymore. She choked as if a bone was stuck in her throat and then she fell flat on the ground…and died. When her mother heard that her little girl was dead, she couldn’t eat the stew because she was so sad. “If only my little girl hadn’t eaten the red berry. Then we could eat together and live happily forever.”

 

The storytellers knew how to personalize their message, and they did this by relating to their listeners. Warnings could be passed on, and we know those children went back to their huts and retold the story about the girl who ate only one red berry. And then they hugged their mamas and their mamas made them their favorite stew.

 

In our books, we can share our own experiences through our characters that will then be passed on to our readers. We can give advice without a lecture. We can provide encouragement without stepping foot into their lives. We can bring laughter to their day by adding in an embarrassing moment that happened to us—and most likely happened to the reader at some point too.

 

To give you an example of the power of story through these little experiences, I once read a book back in high school where there was an older woman who fooled people about her age. She looked so youthful until someone in the story said, “Look at her neck. The neck never lies.”

 

That was it. All the author had to say was, “The neck never lies” and from that day forward and to this very day, I moisturize my neck! That is the power of storytelling.

 

All because the author added some of herself into the book.

 

Now, I don’t know what happened to her for her to come to this realization. Or why she chose to share her knowledge, but I am grateful to her. Thank you, Barbara Delinsky!

 

So how can we put ourselves more in our books? I will share my technique, but first, there is a litmus test of sorts I ask myself before I slip in my personal experiences. They are as follows:

 

1.     Did the experience change me or my choices or my relationships for the better? Even those hard times I’ve been through.

 

2.     Is it my story to tell? What’s my part in it? If an experience happened to someone else, I should only share my part/side in it. (A good comic knows how to poke fun at themselves, not others.)

 

3.     Is there authenticity or vulnerability in sharing my experience through my characters? Characters should always be authentic, even static characters that never change. They never change because something holds them back. What are the personal experiences that hold me back? What experiences isolated me, embarrassed me, taught me, encouraged me, humored me, or lifted me up?

 

Now, I have nearly fifty years of experience, and new experiences happen daily. Unfortunately, our brains can’t retain every experience, so what I have done is committed to something called “Homework for Life.”

I once attended a seminar on teaching (I am a special education teacher when I’m not writing or coaching writers). A storyteller was invited to speak at the teacher seminar and shared this technique. I have taken his way and made it my own. His name is Matthew Dicks and has written about using stories for everyday life and work, such as grant writing.

But for me, I have taken this technique and used it to create characters and the situations I put them in. Depending on if you are tech-savvy or if you would rather write longhand each day, it should only take a few minutes to complete. Either make a spreadsheet, google docs, etc., or use a notebook.

1.     Add a date.

2.     Write one thing that occurred today. Can be an actual event, a thing you did, something someone said that made you laugh, cry, etc. It can also be a memory that came back today.

3.     My reaction or emotion to the event, words, or memory.

 

That’s it!

As I said, it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes. And if something happens during the day, and you think you will forget by nighttime, write it down right then.

 

Here’s an example from my log:

6/14/17: I put A on a plane to Paris for the summer. I’m excited for her, but I hope she comes back alive. (She’s only 16) I’m scared.

6/15/17: B and I fought again. I feel so insignificant. I feel like I don’t matter. But I know that comes from something else. I know he loves me. I must find my voice.

6/16/17: I bought chocolate today. A lot of it. I’m happy.

6/17/17: S came over for tea. We have such different views on life. But she makes me laugh.

6/18/17: Went to a cookout with people I didn’t know. Had more fun. I felt free to be me. Brought chili. Everyone loves my chili.

6/19/17: My favorite shirt was shrunk in the wash. B bought me another one. All good.

6/20/17: Made Strawberry Rhubarb pies for me and Mom. Too liquidy. I need a better recipe. Actually, I didn’t use a recipe. That could be why.

 

As you can see, these are everyday events that at the moment don’t seem to mean much. But as I am writing my stories, I can browse through my log for tidbits to bring into the book. I can also start whole stories with one entry, so if I’m struggling with building a character or premise, I can draw on my own experiences and build from there. Mark Twain said, “Write what you know.” All I have to do is remember that day and how I felt…and write what I know. Did I learn something about putting my daughter on a plane to Paris? Boy, did I! Perhaps, I’ll put it in a story someday.

Thank you, Seekerville, for having me on your blog today! Thank you, Readers, for stopping in and spending your time with me. Whether you write, or not, keeping track of your daily experiences will bring joy to you as you go back and read a few in later years. I encourage all to do it!

 

Katy is offering two chances to win Cavern Cover-Up. One commenter will win a copy. If you follow the link below, you can enter the rafflecopter drawing she has going on.

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Katy Lee

 

Publishers Weekly best-selling author Katy Lee has penned nearly thirty novels full of intrigue, romance, and inspiration. Romantic Times Book Reviews acclaimed, “The action is intense in Lee’s character-driven suspense.” She is a two-time RITA® Award nominee and a two-time Daphne du Maurier award nominee for her excellence in mystery and suspense. She also has multiple awards for the Inspirational Reader’s Choice Award and the Selah Award for her romantic suspense Blindsided. Katy is a native New Englander but presently lives in the majestic, rugged Utah mountains where she is involved in full-time missions for an international Christian school. Katy also offers writing courses online to novice and accomplished writers and coaching services. She has clients all over the world and hopes to open a writing retreat center in the mountains someday. Katy is a graduate student at the Rawlings School of Divinity at Liberty University where she studies Professional Writing and Global Studies. You can find information on her books and writing coaching services on her website: KatyLeeBooks.com.