Thursday, October 20, 2022

The Value of Family Reunions

 


Hello everyone, Winnie Griggs here.
Earlier this month my hubby’s family had their annual family reunion. It was the first time we were able to hold it since 2019 and it was soooooo good to see everyone again. We always look forward to this gathering -  it’s an opportunity for him and all his siblings, cousins, everyone’s extended families, including in-laws and out-laws, to come together and get reacquainted or acquainted for the first time.

There is table set up at the front of the room where photos of loved ones we’ve lost hold a place of honor. There’s also a place to set out other family photos, family tree info and other memorabilia. There are always groups clustered around these, enjoying the look at times past and adding the names of new family members to the genealogy.


Then of course there’s the meal. Oh. My. Goodness! Everyone tries to outdo themselves by cooking up everything from repeats of family favorites to new experiments in food decadence. There’s always much more than our group can possibly eat, though we all do our best to try!

In the afternoon, once the meal is cleared everyone has to pose for pictures. Of course the cameras have been snapping all day but these are the posed groupings in every combination imaginable - born Griggs, siblings, individual families, etc.

When the cleanup is done and folks have started drifting away, my hubby and his siblings, along with their own families, have another reunion of sorts. They make a trip to the cemetery where his parents are buried and then take a trip out to the old home place, which is still very much in the family, though no one lives there currently. One of my daughters has bought a large chunk of it and runs cattle on the place and has gradually been making improvements. So here as well there are lots of opportunities to reminisce and talk about what’s changed and what has remained the same.  

It was fun to hear my kids and their cousins share memories about the old tree swing (the chain is still there since the tree branch has absorbed it), about digging in the dirt under that same tree, playing in the barn and learning to ride bikes on the country road that runs in front of the house. Their own kids were all wide-eyed as they listened to these stories and tried to imagine their parents as children.


 
As the day ended I took a moment to think about how very valuable these type of family gatherings are.  While my own family doesn't do family reunions per se, we traditionally all gather at my Mom's house during the days leading up to Christmas. Since we are now counting great-grandkids among our group, the holiday gathering can number into the 30s or 40s. And it is the same pattern - lots of food, reminiscences, vigorous but ultimately friendly debates, games and laughter. So I am lucky to have these sorts of gatherings on both sides of my kids family tree.

So what are some of those valuable takeaways?

They allow us to keep in touch with family that has moved away and who we might never see otherwise. While, texts, emails and social media postings can help, there is nothing like being face-to-face to remind us of all we share.

They give the newer generations a feel for where they come from – the people, the values, the heritage. They learn about family lore, places, history and personalities.

They allow us to create new memories and new traditions that knit the newer members in with those who have been around much longer, they let us form stronger connections between the generations.

And to bring this around to something writing related, if you open yourself up to these kinds of wonderful experiences, you can draw on them later to add another layer of richness and texture to the backstory of your characters.

 


So, does your family do reunions, either formal or informal? Can you think of any benefits I left off?

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9 comments:

  1. I've been reflecting on these same things lately, Winnie. We had my husband's family's annual pheasant hunt/family reunion this last weekend and we discovered that they have been gathering like this for 48 years in a row! We're already thinking ahead to how we can honor the tradition in a few years with #50 :) The food and stories were plentiful and it's a wonderful way to stay connected with each other when we all live so far apart.

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    1. Wow, 48 years is quite an accomplishment. Hubby's family has been doing these since the late 70s but there have been several years in there where they couldn't be held for various reaasons.

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  2. I'm envious of your reunion, Winnie! I'm an only child and my parents are deceased. I often joke that my family reunion could fill a half-bath. :) But we do have three wonderful children and four adorable grands, and we spend a week at the beach together each summer as our own small family gathering. Getting everyone together is a challenge but always so special. There's nothing like family.

    I think your blogpost is an outline for a future book. I see the family moving from one activity to another with memories coming alive on the page...maybe some secrets revealed too. Just an idea!

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    1. It sounds as if you are laying a wonderful groundwork for family reunions for your crew. And as those grands grow they'll build those wonderful cousin bonds that keep family memories alive and vibrant.
      And as for it being fodder for a book, something to think about... :)

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  3. Thank you for taking us along on a virtual visit to your family reunions, Winnie!

    We live so far from family that getting together - well, we just don't get to do it. Yes, there are reunions every year for both my family and my husband's, but they're scheduled when we can't be there. Our trips East are few and far between, and the short time we're there is spent with our elderly parents as much as possible.
    BUT - My family, recognizing that there are many among the group who can't make it to the annual reunion, has everyone send a letter updating our family activities. These are printed off and made available. That way, even though we don't see each other face-to-face, we've attended the gathering in a way.
    And I agree with Debby - there's a book in your post!

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    1. Oh Jan, I LOVE that idea of using letters to include those who can't make it - I may have to steal that idea for our next gathering!

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  4. I enjoyed reading about your husband's family reunions. I was 12 years old when my paternal grandmother died, followed by my grandfather a year later, and that summer my father and his siblings scheduled their first family reunion. Many of them lived out of state so this was a way to have everyone together at one time. As the years passed, many of my daddy's siblings passed away but their children and grandchildren carried on the tradition. I had second cousins (or is it really cousins twice removed?) that I never saw but this one time each year. Now, some of my cousins are gone, along with my parents, so my brother and a few remaining cousins are the ones left to carry the torch. I've only missed one reunion since the first one and that was due to it being canceled in 2019 because of Covid. Will it continue to thrive when the core group of grandchildren aren't able to attend longer? I hope so but many of the younger family members aren't as invested.
    Sorry that I began to ramble without answering your questions. Eating too much food, joining together for love and fellowship, recalling the times of our youth, and making new memories... these are what I call a family reunion!

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    1. It was actually 2020 when it was canceled due to the epidemic.

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    2. Ramble away! I love hearing about other groups' traditions. And yes, we too wonder if the next generation will pick up the banner for the whole or if they'll splinter off into smaller groups. In a way that' s a natural progression - sort of like planting churches to flourish and grow elsewhere :)

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