Friday, October 19, 2018

A Personal Note and Tips for Adding Vivid Detail


Hello everyone, Winnie Griggs here. I hope you'll excuse me while I indulge in a bit of personal reflection before I get to the actual writing-related part of this blog..


My son got married this past Saturday, and it was an absolutely beautiful celebration. The bridal party included, among others, my three daughters and the bride's sister as bridesmaids, one of my son-in-laws as a groomsman, my two grandsons as ushers and my other son-in-law, a preacher, performed the ceremony, so it was very much a family affair.

The ceremony itself was biblically based, with wonderful touches of personalization and light humor sprinkled in.  My sister, who is a cake artist, made both the wedding and groom's cakes (transporting them from her home nearly 300 miles away!)

And after much praying (and yes, worrying!) my foot decided to cooperate enough to let me walk down the aisle with only the aid of my grandson's arm, and better yet, have the mother-son dance with my son (though we did more swaying and shuffling than actual dancing :) )

And, of course, I just have to share a few pictures. Note: These are candid shots captured by various attendees so the clarity is not always of the best, but the emotion depicted is genuine :)









And now on to the writing portion of this post!

When crafting a scene, one key task for the writer is to make certain the reader can visualize the ‘where’ and ‘what’ surrounding and infusing your action.   How do you do that?  By focusing on the details of course. 

As writers, we all aspire to create a compelling emotional response and a clear mental picture that will stay with readers long after they finish the last page.  Memorable characters and powerful scenes are achieved through vivid writing. 

But what is vivid writing?  You may recognize it when you see it, but do you know how to create those same distinct images on the pages of your own manuscript?

Here are some things to think about when crafting (or editing) your scenes that I believe will help you start on the path to more vivid writing.


ENVIRONMENT
  • What is the weather/temperature/climate
  • What kind of lighting is present
  • What time of day is it
  • What time of year is it


SETS
  • If your character is indoors :
    • What is the type and size of the room/enclosure she is occupying?
    • How is it furnished?
  • If your character is outdoors:
    • What is the terrain (hilly, marshy, rocky, lush, dusty, etc)?
    • What plants, insects, animals, structures are visible?
  • If your character is in a vehicle
    • What is the type of vehicle?
    • Is it well maintained or falling apart?
    • Is it still or in motion?
    • What view of the outside world is available?
    • What is the look and feel of the interior?
    • What are the occupants’ comfort level?



ATTIRE  Think of your characters’ garments in the following terms:
  • Fit - are they restrictive, flowing, form-fitting, oversized
  • Fabric - is the touch smooth or textured, does it rustle, scratch, caress, is it heavy or light
  • Condition - are they new, old, torn, worn, clean, soiled, crisp, limp, wrinkled
  • Style - would the look be described as classic, chic, dated, formal, casual, businesslike
  • Color - bright, muted, flashy, print, solid, clashing, coordinated
  • Accessories - hats, handbags, belts, jewelry, shoes, gloves


USE OF FIVE SENSES
  • What can each character see?
  • What can each character hear?
  • What can each character smell?
  • What can each character taste? (don’t forget - this can be internal, such as bile rising in the throat or blood from a cut lip)
  • What can each character physically feel/touch

PHYSICAL PRESENCE
  • Where are the characters in relation to each other? Did you remain true to this throughout the scene ? (i.e.: he can’t see that she’s wrinkling her nose if her back is to him)
  • How would you describe their general appearance
    • Do they appear neat, disheveled, comfortable?
    • Are they wearing make-up, glasses, five o’clock shadow?
    • Is their hair up, slicked back, braided, loose?
  • Speech patterns and tone
    • Is your characters’ voice soft, abrasive, throaty, sibilant, whiny?
    • Do they use colloquialisms, clichés, ostentatious words, catch phrases?
  • Are they exhibiting any nervous/unconscious mannerisms?
  • What are they doing with their upper body - hand gestures, fingers drumming, head movements, facial expressions, stiff-backed posture, slumped shoulders, bobbing adam’s apple, heaving chest?
  • What are they doing with their lower body - sitting, crouching, limping, pacing, legs crossed, legs swinging, foot tapping?
  • Which character dominates the stage? Can the scene be improved if someone else took the spotlight?
  • Who is your Point Of View character? Can the scene be improved by changing this?
EMOTIONS

  • What emotions are each of your characters experiencing inwardly?
  • What emotions are each of your characters expressing outwardly?
  • How attuned is each character to the emotions and nature of the other characters around him/her?

MISC
  • Is there something you can do to heighten the physical awareness/sexual tension of this scene?
  • Can you throw bigger obstacles at your characters or otherwise heighten the conflict in this scene?
  • Is there any foreshadowing you can do of the secrets your characters are hiding, or of pivotal scenes to come?
  • Have you made the best word choices to provide the pacing and convey the mood, level of tension and nuances of character you desire?


Caution:  You won’t need, or even want, to use every element on the list in each scene.  Rather, carefully pick those nuggets that are most significant to the particular scene you are working on, providing the punch and nuances you wish to convey.   

Once you’ve selected the details you wish to use, you must determine how to reveal them.  Your goal should be to weave them into the story in such a way as to maximize their impact without slowing the pace.  
A few techniques to consider are listed below:

Unfold the setting through your character’s action. 
Most people don’t enter a new environment and absorb everything immediately.  Just so, don’t stop the action of your scene by dumping in a block of description all at once.  Let your character notice things as he moves across the stage: how he must step around the massive planter as he crosses the patio, how her finger leaves a trail across the dusty desk, how uncomfortable he is negotiating around the knick-knack cluttered room.

Filter the setting through your character’s background and life experiences.
Would a ten year old be more likely to focus on the style of furniture in the room or on the collection of antique toys just out of her reach?  When a techno-geek enters a hotel room, will he look first for the view from his balcony or the computer connectivity options?

Color the setting through your character’s emotions and senses.
Is your character happy, afraid, bitter, heartbroken, in pain?  Those emotions will influence how he perceives the things around him.  For instance, the same rainstorm can be viewed by two people, but one sees it as a disaster because it means a cancelled outing, while the other views it as a godsend because it ends a drought that could have spelled financial disaster.  In the same way, the scent of a particular perfume can evoke cherished memories of a lover, or painful memories of an abusive parent.

There you have it.  Apply these techniques to your scenes and you’ll be on your way to making each one a sensory delight for your readers. 




So what do you think - was this checklist helpful? Do you have a checklist of your own that you use? Please do share.  And I'll be giving away a copy of the rerelease of my book The Christmas Journey, part of a new 2-in-1 collection from Love Inspired, to one person who leaves a comment on this post.



31 comments:

  1. Winnie.

    This is a writing class disguised as a blog.

    OH MY STARS!!!!!!!

    Every aspiring and published author should print this off and post it on a wall as a reminder of what each scene needs to jump off the page, straight into readers' hearts!

    So well done.

    And the wedding pics, and the set-up of family... Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!

    I love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies


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  2. The wedding looks so beautiful! Thank you for sharing pictures with us! And thank you for the great information as well!

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  3. I'm in full agreement with Ruthy. This is a post that should be printed out for reference. Winnie, there is so much great information in here. And I love the wedding photos. Funny, right before I pulled up you post, I was thinking about you and wondering how the wedding went. Gotta love instant gratification. Those cakes look AMAZING. What a wonderful event and I'm glad your foot cooperated.

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    Replies
    1. Awww, thanks for thinking of me Mindy. And thanks so much for your kind words about both the pictures and the post.

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  4. Winnie, this is a good post, lots of "meat" for the writer.
    I can't stay long today, secular work and shopping with my daughter. It's a beautiful fall day in NH, cold, crisp and bright. Still a lot of the iconic "fall foliage." Which factors into my WIP as the hero, a California boy, can't believe that New Englanders drive around in cars to LOOK AT LEAVES, and even have daily "foliage reports." I had fun with that one.
    Going to check in on the WE tomorrow, then off to Quincy, Mass. My husband has a meeting at one of our denomination's colleges, and I shall go along and ensconce myself (don't worry, I don't use the word "ensconce" in my "real" writing), anyway, ensconce myself in their library and work for three hours straight on revisions to my Genesis story. Looking forward to working in peace, and may sneak in a fall walk down to the Quincy waterfront.
    Kathy "Autumn in New England" Bailey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kathy. And wow, it sounds like you're going to have a busy weekend, but a productive on.
      I love your descriptions of (and enthusiasm for) the Fall season. Here in Louisiana it is nowhere near that colorful. Sounds gorgeous!

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    2. Kathy, it does sound like you are going to have a great weekend. We went to New England 19 years ago this fall and can't wait until we can go back again.

      Delete
  5. If only I was an author! Winnie, you have certainly offered some valuable advice in this post and as I read it I realized it just how much these different "ingredients" affect a book. A story would be very boring without them.
    Thanks for sharing and congratulations to the bridal couple!
    Blessings!
    Connie
    cps1950(at)gmail(dot)com

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Connie! And you're correct - sprinkling the right details is one of the things that can help make a story pop.

      Delete
  6. This post was helpful so much so that I printed it out.

    Thank you.

    I would love a copy of your book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh wow! thanks Wilani, that's a wonderful compliment and I'm so pleased you found such value in it.

      Delete
  7. I was shocked on my weekly trip to Walmart that they have taken out most of the print books and now they have a huge kiosk for downloading e-books. More and more the older generation is being cut out from having books. I find it so much easier to read print books.

    Besides if I want to download an e book I do it at home on-line. I don't need to drive in to Walmart to download a book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. let me know if I need to delete this. My purpose is not to gain sympathy just to let people know what is going on. I posted on the Love Inspired Readers group and it had to be removed because of the stir it caused.

      Delete
    2. No, I think it's fine to share, Wilani. It's always good to keep up with what's going on in publishing.

      I need to check out my local Walmart to see what books are available. I had been glad to hear about the e-books Walmart would be selling, but I assumed they'd keep all the print books as well. I hope maybe your store will again carry both. Maybe this is a transition period.

      Also, I love to order from local independent booksellers as well. That's always an option for those of us who have stores nearby. What's nice is that they can order books that aren't on the shelf at the time (as long as they're still in print and in stock at their distributor).

      Delete
  8. Winnie, congratulations!! What a perfect family day!! I'm so happy that you got to walk down the aisle and to dance!

    As for this excellent post...thank you! This is a fantastic checklist for me to use when I'm editing. (I tend to leave out a lot of this on the first draft.) I really appreciate you taking the time to compile all these ideas!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Missy. Thanks! And I'm the same way. This is my reminder checklinst for when I'm doing my polishing pass after the first draft is more or less complete.

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  9. Lee-Ann B here - thanks Winnie so much for sharing. This is an excellent list and one I`m sure I`ll refer back to. And thanks for sharing photos from your son`s wedding. BEAUTIFUL!! (would love to have my name in the draw for one of your Christmas titles. :) )

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    Replies
    1. Hi Lee-Ann. You're quite welcome - thanks for the kind words. An of course your name is in the hat!!

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  10. Fantastic post, Winnie. I plan to print this out for reference. I also enjoyed seeing the photos from your son's wedding. It sounds like a wonderful family time.

    Please put me in the drawing for the book.

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    1. Hi Sandy. Glad you enjoyed the post. And of course you're in the drawing.

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  11. Congratulations, Winnie. Enjoyed the wedding pictures. And your blog is a keeper. I'll be printing it out for future reference. Many thanks.

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    1. Hi Pat, glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for stopping by.

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  12. Congratulations to the happy couple. Winnie, the wedding photos are beautiful! Thank you for this great post!

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  13. From one Winnie to another: What a great post! I'm not a writer, but I really enjoy all the posts here on Seekerville. All the behind-the-scenes writing techniques and things you amazing writers have to think about. I love how you can all learn from each other and how willing you are to share your talents with others--both writers and readers!

    Your son's wedding pictures are beautiful! Congratulations to him and your family on the happy occasion!

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    1. Thanks Winnie! Hope you're having a great weekend.

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