Missy Tippens
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| Photo Credit: Bigstock/Ammentorp |
A few of months ago, I read a wonderful post by Edie Melson on her blog, The Write Conversation. She shared 9 Tips for Supporting Your Writing Spouse. In it, she shared ways her husband has helped support her career--a very inspiring post!
Edie's post gave me the idea to come up with my own suggestions we writers can share with our family and friends, especially if we have trouble asking for support. Now, we can just send them a link to this post! :) And you who are readers can share this with your family as well, to help them know how to support you in your creative pursuits.
--If we’re writing (or knitting or making jewelry or…) as a career, then please respect that it’s actually a career. Please don’t call it a hobby or act as if it’s less important than any other job.
--Offer to read our work. If you’re good at grammar, offer to proof it for us. If you’re not, but enjoy reading, offer to read it and give feedback. Also, please give encouraging and positive feedback along with the constructive criticism. (Use the “sandwich method” of sandwiching criticism between two slices of positive!) :)
--When we’re stuck, help us brainstorm ideas. Your different view of the world can give us lots of new ideas.
--At holidays and birthdays, writerly gifts (including cash to go toward conferences, contests, and office supplies) are much appreciated! A writer can never have too many cool pens or notebooks.
--Please be our supporter. Your encouragement can make all the difference in an industry that can be tough sometimes. When we’re down, it helps to know you’re on our side. Let us vent to you, but please keep that confidential. Then, if needed, give us a little tough love that boots us out of our pity party.
--If you like our books, please share them by giving a shout out on social media or by word of mouth. It can make all the difference in our sales!
--Please allow us time and space to think and write. Don’t feel offended when our mind suddenly goes off into our fictional world in moments of inspiration. Just be happy for us when our characters start to speak!
--If we don’t have a designated office, please allow us to claim some space for our computer, books and papers. We know things can get chaotic before a deadline, so bear with us!
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| Photo credit: Crestock / fotodesign_jegg |
--Speaking of deadlines… Please forgive us for all the frozen pizzas and bowls of cereal you may be fed when we’re responsible for meals around deadline time. It would be a huge blessing to us if you took over and offered to cook! (This is especially helpful when small children are involved.)
--Please know that we often experience guilt for time and money taken away from the family, especially before we’re published. Your generosity and reassurance through that period can make all the difference.
--Following our dream takes courage. It helps to know you understand and are proud of us for making sacrifices to pursue that dream.
--For many of us, writing (or knitting or making jewelry or…) is a calling. We feel led by God to make this journey. We hope you’ll honor our calling as we honor your calling.
--We love you, our family and friends, and thank you for supporting us!
Now, Seekerville, I hope you’ll add to my list! What would you like others to know about how to best support your creative endeavors?
After more than 10 years of pursuing her dream of publication, Missy Tippens, a pastor’s wife and mom of three from near Atlanta, Georgia, made her first sale to Harlequin Love Inspired in 2007. Her books have since been nominated for the Booksellers Best, Holt Medallion, American Christian Fiction Writers Carol Award, Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, Maggie Award, Beacon Contest, RT Reviewer’s Choice Award, and the Romance Writers of America RITA® Award. Visit Missy at www.missytippens.com, https://twitter.com/MissyTippens and http://www.facebook.com/missy.tippens.readers.
Missy, there is so much truth to this. It's hard for folks to understand that we consider this a job, even pre-publication, because we're not getting paid yet. Conversely, if a soccer player or a football star is spending hours each day working out and running drills to make a team, people accept that.
ReplyDeleteAren't we funny folks?
Practicing writing and storytelling is a huge part of building and polishing our talents. Great ideas here. Thank you!
(From Ruthy Must Hide From The Farm Now And Again)
Ruthy, I hope your pumpkins and mums are wildly successful again this year! But I also hope you can find that time to hide a bit. :)
DeleteBy the way, I loved your pumpkin photos the other day on FB!! That stack of three is what I did on my porch last year (or the year before) and is what I plan to do again this year. Wish I could run up there to buy from you!
Missy, these are great tips. My husband has always been supportive and proud, even back when I was writing for Sunday School papers. He likes to talk -- A LOT -- but when I tell him I'm on deadline or whatever he recedes. He retires next year, so guess we'll have to make some adjustments.
ReplyDeleteI have gone through the "you're not REALLY working" stage from friends and extended family. I went through it early on because of my journalism career. Even when I was a staff writer, I did some side gigs from home, and I had to learn to keep the world at bay. But I guess that goes for anybody who works from home.
My husband has a great knowledge of Native American customs and lore, which has come in handy in my Western work. We just finished watching Stephen Ives' "The West" and another documentary about the Indian Wars. He also has a Bible degree, so you can imagine how handy THAT comes in.
My adult daughters are also great cheerleaders. I have been fortunate.
Wow RUthy you do have your hands full with a whole farm, all I have to deal with is a small vegetable garden and a woodpile. But I bet the pumpkins are gorgeous.
New Hampshire is rusting its way into fall and foliage. When I come back from ACFW it will be almost October. Sheesh.
Back in a bit, I was working on my "brand" over the weekend and held the branding iron on a little too long. Looking for some ointment.
Kathy Bailey
Kathy, I hope you're okay! I'm trying to figure out if you mean literally or figuratively!
DeleteI'll be at ACFW this year. I look forward to seeing you!
Oh, Missy, I WAS joking. It's my subtle New England wit.
DeleteLOL! I suspected you meant writer brand but just had to make sure you weren't getting crafty somehow with an iron! haha
DeleteOn my desk I have a large teddy bear with a shirt that reads "Samantha, God bless you as you write." My family has their masters degree in support. :0)
ReplyDeleteI would add the tip for loved one's to pray for/over our creative work.
Samantha, I love that bear!! And love your addition of prayer. Thank you for that reminder!
DeleteMissy, I love your post and I'm going to share it because it's non-judgmental for family and friends to read and I think that's the best way to keep them in our corner. I'm blessed with a husband who loves to read over my chapters to check my grammar (even after it's been through the grammar software) and for "big picture" things such as how many times I've referred to "snow" etc., before I send a piece in to my editor. He's not bad on brainstorming as long as I catch him between his own work call-outs. That's how he likes to feel connected to my writing and luckily for me, he's the one in the family who loves to cook!
ReplyDeleteLaurie, my husband always reads and proofs my stories as well. He's great at grammar and such. And boy, he loves his red pen! haha
DeleteBut unfortunately, he's not a cook at all. My goal whenever he retires is to teach him to cook! :)
Missy, this is a lovely post! Unfortunately, I have a family that is not the most supportive. They think my writing is a fun little hobby. Most of the time they complain that it gets in the way because there are times I don't go laces with them or do things because I'm writing.
ReplyDeleteOne good thing about my husband though, and a good thing for your list, is to listen to us ramble as we work out plot problems. We went for a drive this weekend and I spent 75% of the time talking about my plot issues with the story. Hubby couldn't have cared less about my story or its issues, but he dutifully listened and let me ramble without interrupting or telling me how stupid it was.
LeAnne, I hope they'll grow to see how important your writing is to you. At least your hubby listens! Maybe he'll start adding ideas at some point. :)
DeleteSuch an important post, Missy! Thankfully, my family is very supportive. My husband helps when I need to brainstorm ideas or verbally go over my plot points. He's also my beta reader.
ReplyDeleteI'm the one who feels guilty when I'm holed up in my office too long. We're empty nesters so I try to spend time with him each evening. Of course, when a deadline looms, he often has to fend for himself. Bless his heart, he'll take over washing the dishes and other odd jobs so I have more time to write.
Debby, I, too, feel guilty, especially on Fridays, which is my hubby's day off. It's tough to find just the right balance.
DeleteMissy, love this post! I do a lot of editing, proofreading, and beta reading for others. My husband now starts his conversations with, "Are you working or playing?" That's been huge for me. If I'm editing or writing and I'm at a stopping point, I'll stop so we can talk. If not, I'll tell him to give me a few minutes.
ReplyDeleteMy son reads all my writing. He's good for feedback and editing issues. I started a new story, and he's patiently (impatiently) waiting for me to finish it. A good friend of mine also reads my first work and helps me figure out what's happening, what's going to happen, and is my biggest supporter. Without her and my son, I would have given up writing long ago.
Sally, that's wonderful that you have such support!! I especially love that your son is impatiently waiting on your story. That means it's really working well! :)
DeleteGreat post, Missy. I'm blessed with a husband who supports my dream. I was really trying to finish up my manuscript by the end of August. Though I didn't meet my deadline, my husband gave me the gift of taking over the boys' needs every evening so I could work. He gave me time over the weekends. I think having a spouse who understands the importance of our dreams and gets behind us to help us is an amazing gift.
ReplyDeleteHe's also given me the gift of 2 Saturday morning a month to work on my book. I go for coffee at my favorite shop and work for four hours.
Jeanne, that's such a special gift from your husband!! I still cherish a note my husband wrote years ago when he said he'd watch the kids to I could go to the coffee shop to do a read-through on my mss. (You know how difficult it is to concentrate to do a straight read-through!)
DeleteGreat advice. I was always a crafter especially turning others junk into a treasure, but never received any support, so I stopped. Now my dear husband of five years encourages me and is proud of the things I make for our home.
ReplyDeleteLucy, I'm so happy for you that you now have that support! I love the idea of turning junk into treasure. :) Do you sell any of your items?
DeleteGood post, Missy. I am glad to have the support of my husband for my writing. He takes care of a lot around the house and is a good cook, so that all helps when I am busy with writing. I haven't had a lot of deadlines to worry about yet, but I know I will have his support when that time comes.
ReplyDeleteSandy, I'm so glad to hear it!
DeleteThis is a great post Missy. My husband is quite fantastic when it comes to encouraging me with writing. He'll push me out the door if I complain I haven't been able to write because of the kids or whatnot had to be done - a few hours at the library seems to clear that up! :) Lee-Ann B
ReplyDeleteThat's great, Lee-Ann!
DeleteI have to say I'm amazed at how many people today have commented on the support they receive. I feared there might be a lot of our readers who don't feel supported. However, maybe they don't feel comfortable commenting publicly. I hadn't thought of that while writing the post. If any of you are out there don't have support, and these suggestions ring true to you, I hope you'll be able to find the right opportunity to share them with your friends and family.
ReplyDeleteSo thoughtful, as always! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm blessed to have a supportive hubs also, but others I've spoken to most definitely do NOT have good support at home or really from many others. Sharing your post as it rings so true.
Thank you for sharing it. :)
Happy fall, y'all!
Thanks for sharing, KC! I hope you have a beautiful fall, too!
DeleteHi Missy:
ReplyDeleteThe Power of Selective Encouragement…
Consider this example:
You can be playing a terrible round of golf but on one hole you hit a powerful 220 yard, two iron shot, straight and true, which comes to rest just three inches from the pin. You know, right then and there, that that shot is going to make your day and bring you back to play again and again.
That one great shot, out of 114 hacker whacks, has the power of selective encouragement. This is an amazing power which takes almost no effort by the giver but which can greatly energize the recipient's motivation to continue.
Here's what to do:
When reading an author, look for something that that writer does so well that it stands out and is objectively better than most other authors do. This 'sparkle' should be demonstrably true so that your praise comes across as sincere and thus provides the power of selective encouragement.
As a reader you can do it. It's a blessing and it costs you nothing but a bit of kindness.
Vince
I love this, Vince! It's been a while since I've written to an author (I know, shame on me!). So I will do this next time I finish a great book. :)
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