Wednesday, May 13, 2020

10 Ways to Conquer Fear with Focus & Faith

It's been two months now. Over two months since I first started researching what was going on in China... and having watched "One Child Nation", a documentary released in 2019 about China's one-child policy, the emotional distancing, the choices, the  lack of choices and the long and short-term effects.  I was watching it from an adoption angle, but then whispers of a new virus kept invading my research. As I watched the news releases from China, and the more surreptitious talk, it became more clear that this could be another SARS-like breakout... of course we know now that this one is worse for several reasons.

It infects people more readily.
It lurks in the throat and nose without causing symptoms for days, widening the spread.
It has "sneak attack" features that allow a person to carry it, unknown to them.
It loves crowded rooms, funerals and gatherings inside.
It targets the elderly, but isn't afraid to take its share of other folks, too... but to a far less degree.
It really likes people with co-morbidities, immune-suppressed, diabetic, lung problems, heart problems and obesity are particular favorites.
It's persistent. And it is particularly happy in overcrowded conditions, spreading quickly which made NYC a prime target.

As these things became known, the world hit "PAUSE":

And it hasn't been able to hit "RESET" as yet.


We're slowly creeping toward Reset in Western New York. Because NYC became an epicenter, things in New York will move slowly. Others are able to move more quickly, and that's good because a world can't pause forever, can it? But this isn't a debate about opening/not opening.

Not my job, not my pay grade.

My job is to help writers figure out how to conquer the spinning brain, the out-of-body experiences that say you should be writing (those are correct, by the way) but you can't get your brain to cooperate. (Brains are funny things.)

This has become difficult for contracted authors. That means it might even be harder for people striving for that goal because there's no money riding on it. That's not said to be mean, it's the common sense of the situation: If your paycheck demands you write, then you write. Eventually.

So how do we conquer this? How do we set fear aside and focus on moving forward?



Faith in God and faith in ourselves. The Novel Corona Virus didn't take our talent. Nor has it taken our brains. What it's done is capture our attention, so our current task is to change the visual and contextual and get back to work.

OR--

Use it as a basis for getting back to work because not since WW2 has there been such a target-rich environment for story building from every direction, mindset, demographic, setting available.

Those choices are up to you, the author, the writer. The news abounds: pick a story and flesh it out fictionally.

And here are ten ways to re-set your personal brain:

1. Stop watching ubiquitous news coverage. Allow yourself twenty minutes/day to check news, local and/or national, then walk away until your brain is no longer mush. Mushy brains do not write good books. Heck, they don't even write good lists.

2. Do something nice for others. The busier you are being good to others, the less inclined you are to sit and think about yourself or the world condition. The world has been around for a very long time. It will continue to spin, and good things and bad things will continue to happen. Focus on others. Make things to donate, write letters of encouragement to people, bake things and drop them on doorsteps, order things to be delivered to folks who are in need. Give gift cards to cashiers and delivery people. Be kind. Be noble. Be faith-filled.

3. Go outside. Get out of the house, even on the bad weather days (tornadoes and hurricanes excepting) and walk. Ride a bike if you have one, but if you don't, take walks. It will be good for your body, cleansing for your soul, help your lungs and give you more stamina if you do get sick.

4. Avoid social media. If your brain is spinning, social media is the last place you should be with the constant arguments about this, that and the other thing. One thing about crises that's held true through millennia: There are bad people who will take advantage to their own ends/power/finances and good people who will keep things going. Today is no different, it's just your new normal. Use it as a history lesson.

5. The Serenity Prayer. A beautiful, simplistic way of re-organizing your brain to focus on what can be helped, changed, and your opportunity to do it... or to bide your time, pray and know that God is listening.

6. Write.  Make yourself sit down, get that butt into a chair and those hands on the keyboard and let your brain immerse in something fun... or in something earth-shattering if that's the way your brain works. Some authors do well in the crush of the moment, bringing tragedy to the page as it whirls around them. Others want rainbows and Kermit-the-Frog and reassurance of sweet romance or fairy tales. BOTH ARE WONDERFUL.  And both can be blessedly therapeutic.

7. Make a decision about what is ruling your life: Fear or Focus. No matter what kind of person you are, introvert or extrovert, fussy or calm, Type A, B or whatever... your personal choice has a huge effect on your actions. Choose to move forward. Standing still gets us nowhere. This doesn't mean you have to rejoin the dance in the public square. It means you're actively engaging your brain to allocate a "And This Too Shall Pass" mindset to the current situation and letting it play out while you get things done. They don't have to be big things: But they do have to be something.

8. How badly do you want to be a writer?  Sometimes the test isn't in the circumstances, but in the person. Another decision to make, because writing is a job like any other, and there's only so much leeway. Publishers don't make money if they don't produce books, and sometimes we write under great pressure, internal and external. There are only so many "Get Out of Jail (Deadline) Free" cards issued. Something to consider because self-discipline is key to a successful career, or even a shot at a career at all.

9. Breathe deeply. That sounds silly, right? It's not. Taking that deep, cleansing breath through your nose... holding it to expand your lungs... then doing a slow, controlled release helps us to feel in charge and it helps strengthen our lungs, two important factors in fighting this virus and the blues. Take those deep breaths... hold 'em a bit... and then let them go slowly. It's a metaphor for taking charge of your life by taking charge of your lungs, your air, your breathing patterns.

10. Pray. Give your life, your fear, your joy, your anxiety, your acceptance, your praise over to God. If you're not a believer, this is the best time to change that status, darlings! And if you are, then remember that God is here, with us, Emmanuel. The blessing of the Holy Spirit dwells within us. We are not abandoned. We are never alone. We are His... and as His creations we were formed in an image and likeness that offers us the strength to tackle whatever comes our way. Pray... and use His shoulder to lean on. Let Him carry you, but that doesn't mean you should slack off because then the spin starts all over again and darlings... no one has time for that.



Be well. Be kind. Be safe. And remember that while we may embrace different opinions as things move forward, your normal isn't someone else's normal and that's an important distinction.

I've got a $20.20 Amazon gift card to give away today, but not for you... if you win it, I want you to give it to someone in need, okay? I'm not going to check up on you... If you really need it, well, go ahead and use it, my friend!

:)

THIS JUST IN!!! An anonymous author has just donated a second $20.20 gift card for a second winner to share! You guys are the best! Now we'll be giving away two gift cards for folks to share with others, just a little way to share the love....

But I'm a firm believer that the more we care for others, the less we sit around worrying about ourselves. And that's a lesson I think we've all learned at one time or another!



USA Today Bestselling author Ruth Logan Herne is blessed to be living her dream of writing sweet books with unforgettable characters while she's tucked in her very cold corner of New York State (which really should give it up on winter, for pity's sake, right???) She has been known to rescue tulips from the cold, loves puppies and dogs, her mini-donkeys, the occasional cat and does not like mice or snakes. She refuses to apologize for that. With over 50 books published, Ruthy has been touching the hearts and souls of readers for ten years... and hopes for many more, God willing! Email her at loganherne@gmail.com, visit her website ruthloganherne.com, friend her on Facebook where she loves to chat the antics of family, kids, critters and life on a pumpkin farm.

59 comments:

  1. Hi Ruth:

    Sometimes I don't seek the serenity of accepting that which cannot be changed.

    I think of the story of the thousands of starfish which were washed up on the beach by a very high tied. A boy was walking along the shore and throwing the fish back into the water one at a time.

    An old man, perhaps with ample serenity, told the boy that there were so many starfish to save that his efforts would make no difference. The boy hurled another fish back into the water and said, "It made a difference to that one."

    Just because you can't change things doesn't mean you can't do anything. Save the starfish and give the serenity of survival. With God all things are possible.

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    1. Hey, you! I've used that story in books, but I think it proves my point... he saw what he could change and acted... He saved what he could. That's my kind of guy/gal. Do what you can, when you can.

      That goes hand-in-hand with my "Never say never" mantra because the world always has its share of nay-sayers but if we choose to live with hope, faith and focus, it's amazing what we can do.

      You and I are actually on the same page here, my friend. And I'm so glad to see you!!!!!

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    2. Hi Ruth:

      Yes, I'd say we really are on the same page, mostly, (that's a Ruthism), and by the way, I have actually thrown a few starfish back into the sea as a child, and yet, it boils down to this philosophical question:

      Is there really ever anything that cannot be changed, at least, in some way, for the better?

      Even the finality of death itself can be changed for the better if we but change our very perception of death.

      Serenity and the sublime may best be left for the world beyond.

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    3. Vince, you're right... everything can be changed or altered and there's an infinite number of ways, but there are variables and people and situations we can't control or change... and that's the awareness factor that's crucial, especially in times of trouble.

      Do what you can, be your best... and have the courage to move on.

      Now, that's not an easy concept for a parent or a child or a friend or spouse faced with wretched behaviors.... drugs, alcoholism, abuse, deceit, criminal activity and even with mental illness... those can be game changers.

      But then there comes the other side of the mental health coin when we see things spiraling out of control and have to realize what we can do... and what we can't.

      I love when my philosopher friend stops by!!!!

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    4. Hi Ruth:

      Wonderful.

      I can't disagree with anything you've written above.

      Actually, when it comes right down to it, I just don't like the word 'serenity' in this prayer. I never have. It always grates.

      It seems odd to me that one should be serene because she accepts that another, for all practical purposes, is a hopeless alcoholic. I would have preferred the word 'fortitude'. To me it takes strength of character to accept what you cannot change but desperately wish you could.

      I guess if I were wise, while I cannot change the Serenity Prayer now that it is so well known, I can change it when I pray it. God willing.

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  2. Very good post. Thank you for the chance to give a person in eesomething. I can't do much but I know just the person who could use this.

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    1. Cathy, I'm tossing your name in! And thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I'm a big fan of helping others even in the least of ways. It's amazing what a smile and encouragement can do... and cookies.

      I am a big fan of making friends and healing hearts via cookies.

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  3. As believers we are encouraged (exhorted!) to walk in faith not fear. You’ve listed some very good ideas to help keep one’s focus on what is needful. I especially like the one to limit listening to the news. My family tends to be news junkies so I catch a listen here and there and then just turn up my audiobook to drown out the TV 😉 thanks for sharing and for the reminder to bless others!

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    1. Hi, Anne! I've heard that from so many people, that especially the men are caught up in the ongoing news cycles and it becomes that brain spin... I hear you! And glad you've got audiobooks to help. I love audio books!!!!

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  4. I have quit watching the slanted news coverage and choose faith over fear. Great article. Thank you for sharing. Have a blessed day.

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    1. Lucy, three cheers for you! Faith over fear is a blessing... and a strength.

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  5. Ruthy, lots of good "meat" in this post. There is so much that could derail us right now, but people need our stories more than ever.
    I WISH I had another contract right now, or a deadline. For the newly-pubbed or unpubbed writer this is a delicate time and we have to work really hard to reassure ourselves that yes, we should be doing this. This is why I liked that encouragement post earlier this week. If you have a contract or a deadline, or even one published book, it gives you something to hang on to. Like the old-timers said in camp meeting, you "drive a stake." I hang on to the fact that someone did think enough of my work to publish it and that a second book is in the pipeline. SO THERE, doubt!
    It's important to formulate good writing habits in the good times, so they can carry us through the bad. If we have good habits in place they will usually work in the bad times, albeit we may have to adjust them a little.
    I agree with you about watching news. After a certain point in the day they're really not going to tell us anything new, they're just going to rehash it. I tune in every night to my local station (not too hard, New Hampshire has only one commercial station and PBS), and I get the update from my governor and his task force. Then I pretty much go about my day. What's left of it.
    I'm a huge supporter of the "write something!" philosophy. If I'm blocked on my main project, the third Western Dreams book, I'll go and spend some time on my next Christmas novella or hack away at future blog posts. And if I'm REALLY not feeling creative, there's always editing and plotting.
    And as a "fixer" and a do-er, the Serenity Prayer resonates with me because there's so much I can't fix. Like all of it.
    Only thing we CAN control is our attitudes.
    Great idea about giving away the gift card!
    Talk to you soon,
    KB

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    1. KayBee, good morning! So nice to see you here, lovely lady and I agree. If we control our attitudes, what we put out there for the world, we have the opportunity to make the world shine brighter or worry more... and what did worry ever achieve?

      Nothing but growing fear.

      Now that doesn't mean I'm a sheep and I sit and think it's cool for others to make my decisions for me.

      I don't believe that at all, so to me a measured directive and my chosen response are the important things.

      I want people safe, but life doesn't guarantee safety. It never has and it never will. But for those of us who are either older or at risk, we should be taking our own personal responsibility for staying home.

      And then I saw NYC report that 66% of new patients had been staying home.

      HMMMM..... what's wrong with that picture?

      And wherein lies the truth?

      But even with all of that, intelligent people can make smart moves although nothing is foolproof.

      I think we've all hit a new "PAUSE" button waiting to see how those first steps forward go. And having said that, I have already noticed that the media is quick to report 5 cases here, 8 cases there in countries that have relaxed their stay-at-home.

      But didn't we expect that?

      Fear-mongerers are not the friend of anyone.

      But then I know an 89-year-old lady who is now insisting on doing her own shopping because she's convinced it's all a hoax.

      Now at 89 she's had a great long life, and if she passed away in her sleep, she'd still have had a great long life, right?

      But she's convinced that it's a negligible risk for an overweight, diabetic 89-year-old to go shopping because she's got a mask.

      And that's a perfect indication that we can't fix everything.

      Folks'll do what folks'll do.

      Back to Serenity Prayer. :)

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  6. Ruthy, you are so spot-on. I've had to remind myself of those exact things. There is only so much we can control. Prayer, writing, going outside, avoiding the news and social media... We've got those! Go ahead and indulge. Besides, worry causes lines and wrinkles and I've had it with those. ;)

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    1. Too many wrinkles!!! I'm going to hate doing a new author pic because of age spots and wrinkles, dagnabbit!!!! :)

      To make our own measured response and to take responsibility for our actions is a huge thing to me... but that's because we now have testing, we have ventilators (although there is a lot of speculation about the wisdom of using them, and I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV...) we have ideas for how the virus runs its course... and then today there are reports that it might come back 50 days later, after you think you're over it.

      So if it's an opportunistic virus, our choices are to find a cure/vaccine/or develop immunity because if it goes latent for months... and then we get sick again... that's a new factoid, if true.

      But we don't know what's true, what's circumstantial, and what we do know is that it's a tough road for a small percentage... but of a lot of people because of the infection rate.

      I don't have answers, but like you I know that I have jobs to do. I will get them done. And we'll do it as safely as we can because that's so important.

      We're planning to spread out the farm displays over another 3/4 acre of space to keep things sufficiently distant so folks will walk more, but they won't be as contained come September... and we'll spread out folks waiting on them, too.

      But I look at things being canceled in the fall, outdoor things, and I'm wondering what the motivation is to cancel outdoor events slated for September and October in May... especially if you have time to adjust things?

      Clearly I put my Ruthy-Runs-The-World hat firmly in place today, Mindy!

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  7. Hi Ruthy. You are such a blessing to many. You always share the most valuable information. Thank you for bringing light during a difficult time. Our church small group have been collecting food and other items to families in need.
    Gail

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    1. Gail, I love that! Good for you, that's awesome. And if 100 small churches do 100 things, that's well beyond a big church effort! :) Bless you!

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  8. Hi Ruthie,

    I love your posts. They always make me think. I totally agree about
    not watching the news. Too depressing & too slanted most of the time. I love to help others & wish I could do more at this time. I do have a person who is giving things away from her home & a free book box where I can & do donate but hopefully I think the most important thing I can do is care & pray & connect so I do. If I would win this I could definitely find the right person to give it to. I think I have a lady in mind now. God bless you today & tomorrow & always. Thanks for great writing both books & blogs.

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    1. Pam, how are you? I'm so glad you stopped by today! Such a pleasure to see you... and I'm tucking your name right into the drawing... I even cleaned out the cat dish, the fancy one! :) Nothing like an old-fashioned cat-dish drawing, that's what I say.

      Agree on 100%. We forget that prayer is the most powerful blessing of all, that it transcends everything because it puts our dependence on God. I am the worst at remembering that when I should!!! Silly me. And then I remind myself and I breathe.... and that helps so much.

      :)

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  9. This is a wonderful post. A great reminder. You are spot on with all of these.
    My mom taught all five of us kids that fear will only destroy us. That we need to constantly look to the one who destroys fear and replaces it with peace. She taught us to always be compassionate and to care for others even if we didnt want to because it seems like they dont want it. We dont know what is going on in their lives at the moment. We need to be strong enough in the Lord that we look past all of that and show them what the Lord has given us. Peace. And I just pray that to those that I have encountered and shared with pick up some of His Peace. This is how we have raised our two children, and it looks like they picked it up real well.
    quilting dash lady at comcast dot net

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    1. Lori. Lori. Lori. I would love your mother because I think we were twins separated at birth. That beautiful thought of "we don't know what is going on in their lives at the moment"... I have seen that repeatedly over the years, and it has taught me to be less judgmental (and I needed that lesson) and more open-hearted. Two really good things to make me a better person.

      You are a blessing, Lori. I hope you know that!

      Delete
  10. Awww, Ruthy. I loved, loved this post! And the thing I have to keep coming back to is what's ruling my thoughts? Fear or focus? That was such a great point.

    I also love, love that you are giving away an Amazon card to give away. What a beautiful thing!

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    1. Forced Generosity, LOL! :) And honestly if the person who wins it spends it, I'll never know (although a true conspiracy theorist would embed a chip into the card and track it, right????) and I'll assume they just plain needed it. :)

      But the joy of sharing is like no other.

      Well, not quite as cool as raising kids, but joyful, nonetheless!

      Thanks for coming by, Jeanne! Good to see you!

      Delete
  11. Great post, Ruthy! Sometimes I feel like we're caught in a slow whirlpool, unable to move beyond.

    But the circumstances aren't as important as our response to the circumstances. And you brought up the perfect question - do we respond in faith or in fear? I choose faith, and focus on what God has asked me to do.

    The gift card idea - so brilliant. :-)

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    1. I am writing down the brilliant phrase and showing it to my children and I'm not telling them that I stole the idea from our New Year's Eve party last year when someone (Connealy, maybe???) came up with the let's give away $20.19 gift cards.... :)

      I am such a copycat. :) Love you, Jan!

      Faith conquers fear.

      If we let it.

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  12. Ruthy, thanks for sharing your tips! I've had a really tough time focusing over the last couple of months. Lately, thanks to support from my writer friend Lindi, who has been texting me almost daily, I've been able to accomplish some things.

    I love your giveaway idea!! I pray this gift will be multiplied. :)

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    1. Right???? One good turn deserves another, and that kind of thing. Sharing is caring. :)

      And I'm so glad that Lindi is helping you! A chorus of "That's what friends are for" is running through my mind right now.

      Faith over fear to find and grab hold of our focus.

      Love you, Missy.

      Delete
  13. Dear Ruthy, I can always count on you for a thought-provoking, well-written post full of amazing Ruthy wisdom! I'm not a writer (other than book reviews), but I can definitely use these ideas!

    What a fun gift card idea! I can think of a couple of family members and friends that could use some help right now. Hugs, sweet friend!

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    1. Winnie, hi! I'm tucking your name right in and I am so blessed to know you... and you're right, these ideas transcend job descriptions... they're good ol' common sense for all of us. So nice to see you today, thank you for taking the time to come over!

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  14. Needed this today, Ruthy! I truly have Pandemic Fatigue. I'm going to set a reasonable writing goal today, then walk for a bit, and then see what I can do to make someone's day better. :)

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    1. Oh, BEST IDEA EVER. :) I find that to be the best balm for troubled souls because there's always someone having a rougher time than me, and oftentimes it's a much rougher time.

      Loaves & fishes.

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  15. Ruthy, great advice today. Thank you! Putting others first is the key to a happy life, isn't it? And especially in this time of Corona. There's always someone who could use a phone call or a sweet note.

    Love your Amazon giveaway for the winner to give away! :)

    Sending cyber hugs upstate!

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    1. Oh, I agree wholeheartedly. And yes, now a giving heart is clutch because there are so many troubled hearts out there. Share the blessings and the kindnesses.... And I do find that baked goods on doorsteps (or dinners) is a huge help to folks who are having problems. Just knowing that someone cares is a huge thing.

      Grabbing those cyber hugs!!!!!

      Delete
  16. Perfect thoughts, Ruthy!

    When the lockdown was ordered for our state, we were away from home. My husband had planned a long distance hiking adventure. Deciding to shelter-in-place, we continued our planned stay, but the time was uncomfortable. I worried about my family, and I missed being in our own community. I had planned to focus on writing while my husband hiked, but I was in a fog. I survived the time away with prayer and by practicing placing my trust in Him that He would keep my family safe. And I need a great deal of practice in “Do not fear.”

    Returning home, I feel back in my routine...just so much more grateful for what God has given me. Thank you for your always spot-on advice!

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    1. Sherida, I've talked with so many writers who feel the same way. The fog. The brain spin. And I can't imagine how hard it was to be away from home. OUCH... It's like when the pioneers were threatened, they circled the wagons because we feel better knowing we're not in it alone. It's a mental thing as well as a physical thing... so I can imagine your emotions.

      And men are different. They just are. So it was probably not as troubling for him, right?

      And I love that "more grateful for what God has given me."

      Amen to that!

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  17. Dear Ruthy, Thank you so much for this advice. I always love a dose of Ruthy common sense, practical wisdom. The one nice thing about being a writer is having a chance to focus on something other than everything going on right now, but you're right. There are days I check the news more than 20 minutes a day, and those are the days I let the fear get the better of me. Thank you, Ruthy!!!

    And I love the part about reminding to give to others. Here I've been whining my husband likes to binge bake, and now I realize the next time he does, we're immediately packing up half and giving it to someone else.

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    1. Tanya, that's exactly what I do because baking is my therapy. It relaxes me. One year I tried to give it up for Lent.

      I always give things up for Lent, but I couldn't do it. I caved by week two because I love making things and giving them away. Or just feeding a crew...

      Good for you and hubby and I'm tucking your name into the drawing... and so good to see you today! Go you!

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  18. Wonderful post, Ruthy! You are truly spot on. A giving heart is especially important in these corona days! Thanks for your generosity. I have a couple in mind who could benefit. Blessings~~~

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    1. Jackie, thank you for your sweet words, and I totally agree... tucking your name into the cat dish and thank you for all you do to help authors (including me!) and to be just simply the person you are. You bless so many.

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  19. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your specific list just solidified the similar nebulous thoughts drifting around in my foggy brain!

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    1. Linda, honey, we've all has our share of that brain fog... so we understand 100%. So glad you came by today, you are always welcome here. And you used an SAT word: nebulous.

      AWESOME! :)

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  20. Thanks, Ruthy.

    I just read an interesting article about the neurology of how this affects us. It was particularly about people having difficulty concentrating to read, but it applies to writing too.

    https://www.vox.com/culture/2020/5/11/21250518/oliver-j-robinson-interview-pandemic-anxiety-reading?fbclid=IwAR0f3QQtgr66pBB5TgBvdswDNlwXZZw0KCmXS7JJi1SxP7lHlV0lk_oK9jo

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    1. Thank you Cate for this article! I LOVE to read but have been struggling to read
      esp. suspense books and I couldn't figure out why.

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  21. Thanks Ruthy for a great article and list of 10 ways to re-set our brains! Great suggestions!

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  22. I agree. Focusing on others makes my problems fade.

    I find if I tell even one person my goals for the day, I'm more likely to make progress. If I write my goals in my prayer journal, I work even harder to accomplish my goals.

    Have a great day and stay safe!

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    1. Jackie, that's such a nugget of wisdom. It's like when we make a promise to God, we work hard to keep it.

      So glad you stopped in today and thanks for being a guest blogger this week. That's so cool!

      Delete
  23. I love the extra anonymous giveaway!! Makes my heart happy. :)

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  24. As long as this pandemic has lasted, I know that it won't be over quickly for many. I try to focus on how much easier my quarantine has been than it is for some. I may be out of work, but my husband isn't. I may be out of work for a while because I am pregnant and due in August, but we can live on my husband's income. I know that for many, they don't have a second income left for their household. For some, one income isn't enough. And I know that for some (my parents included) they don't have the option of staying home.
    I decided the best way for me to combat my loneliness, self-pity, and boredom is to begin something new. I decided to try writing. As much as I enjoy reading, and as naturally as essays always came for me, I thought this would be a fun challenge. I have written (unpublished) children's books. Some I have given to local teachers to use. This newest challenge will keep me busy until after Baby arrives, but I lack the deadline. I have asked a few people to keep me accountable. But how do I work that for myself? How can I ensure that I don't burn out when I reach a point where the novelty has left?

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