Cooking with Love, Not Lard: Lessons from Lulu with guest T.I. Lowe

The South is steeped in traditions as rich as chocolate gravy over hot buttermilk biscuits, and we take our traditions just as seriously as our biscuits. An endearing custom of my small town is that we love on you with food. Are you sick? Soup is on the way. Did someone pass away in your family? Make room in your freezer, because an assortment of casseroles will be lining your countertops and any other surface we can find. Having a baby? Yep, more food is on the way.

In my home, I have a giant sign over the pantry door that says GROCERY. I point to it when guests arrive and then to the fridge, while delivering a sweet yet firm warning that I’ll be offended if they do not make themselves at home. Seriously, a visit doesn’t seem successful if guests leave without eating or drinking something. And do not dare turn a Southerner down when they offer you some food to take home with you!

Do you even want me to get started about Southern holiday traditions? It’s all centered around the oven, I tell ya. Baked goods galore. We celebrate with food. We mourn with food. We love with food.


Although I think this tradition is charming, it’s given me pause at times. Especially when I sat down to write Lulu’s Café. The “loving on you with food” had to be there, but I decided to explore the possibility of presenting it in a healthier way. I’m sure this is making some of you gasp. Believe me, it wasn’t an easy concept, considering I’ve been raised in the Butter Belt. I’m known for my baked goods and give them out generously as my way of loving on folks.

While coming up with ways for Lulu to use healthier ingredients in her Southern dishes, I also pondered the entire idea of how people show their love to others—food being only one way in an infinite array of possibilities. Although we may all have a different perspective on this, there is one thing we all have in common that we can use to help show our love. We have a limited amount of this and do not know exactly when the supply of it will run out, but I’ve come to view it as one of the greatest gifts we have.

Time. We all have the gift of time.

The twenty-layer chocolate cake I make on a very rare occasion for my family comes to mind. It’s a giant, super-decadent treat. No way can we eat all of it in one day. There will most likely be leftover cake to enjoy the next day, too. This is not the case with our time. Once a day is gone, it’s gone. There are no leftover hours or minutes or even seconds you can carry over for another slice of time.

I often wonder if I’ve loved my family with enough of my time. What will they remember me by when my time limit is up? Did I stop and listen enough? Did we laugh enough? Did I pay enough attention when they had tears in their eyes? Did they know they could depend on me for more than delicious servings of cake?

Lulu made a good point in the book—At the moment, the girl didn’t need to listen. She needed to be heard. If you’ve ever sat down with me over a cup of coffee, then you know I can talk your ear off. However, I also understand what Lulu meant. Listening is a gift. My children have things they need to say, and they need to be heard. Remembering this, I stopped while typing just now to go hang out with them for a little while, giving them the chance to speak. Honestly, I don’t always get this gift of love right. The busyness of life can get in the way, but it’s up to us to be mindful of not allowing it to take over.


Don’t get me wrong, I’m still loving on my family and others with food. It’s a part of my Southern makeup, after all. But when I deliver a casserole or cake to someone, I try to give them a serving of my time to listen as well. Suppertime in the Lowe house is always done together at least five days a week. My crowd is so spoiled—in a good way—that they wrinkle their noses at the idea of take-out most nights, but I don’t mind . . . mostly. I love cooking up nourishing meals, knowing they will enjoy them and it will be much healthier for their bodies. That, in itself, is a gift I love giving.

How about you? What gifts of love do you enjoy sharing with others? Any traditions other than food? And if it’s food, any unique dishes?

Celebrating release day for Lulu's Café!

When a damaged young woman is given a chance to reclaim her life in a small South Carolina town, she must reckon with the dark secrets she left behind in order to accept the love she deserves.

On the run from a violent past, Leah Allen arrived in tiny Rivertown, South Carolina, battered and broken, but ready to reinvent herself. By a stroke of fate, Leah is drawn to the Southern hospitality of a small café, looking for a warm meal but finding so much more. Lulu, the owner, offers her a job, a place to stay and a new lease on life. Through Lulu's tenacious warmth and generosity, Leah quickly finds herself embraced by the quaint community as she tries to put herself back together. Given she's accustomed to cruelty, the kindness is overwhelming.

Soon Leah meets Crowley Mason, the most eligible bachelor in town. A lawyer and friend of Lulu's, Crowley is wary of Leah's sudden, mysterious arrival. Despite his reserve, something sparks between them that can't be denied. But after all she's been through, can Leah allow herself to truly love and be loved, especially when her first urge is to run?

Exploring the resiliency of both the heart and the spirit, Lulu's Café gorgeously illustrates how old scars can finally heal no matter how deep they seem.

Lulu's Café is available now!

Bestselling author T.I. Lowe sees herself as an ordinary country girl who loves to tell extraordinary stories. She knows she's just getting started and has many more stories to tell. A wife and mother and active in her church community, she resides in coastal South Carolina with her family.

For a complete list of Lowe's published books, biography, upcoming events, and other information, visit tilowe.com and be sure to check out her blog, COFFEE CUP, while you're there!