Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Cooking with Love, Not Lard: Lessons from Lulu with guest T.I. Lowe


Cooking with Love not Lard: Lessons from Lulu with guest T.I. Lowe on Seekerville

The South is steeped in traditions as rich as chocolate gravy over hot buttermilk biscuits, and we take our traditions just as seriously as our biscuits. An endearing custom of my small town is that we love on you with food. Are you sick? Soup is on the way. Did someone pass away in your family? Make room in your freezer, because an assortment of casseroles will be lining your countertops and any other surface we can find. Having a baby? Yep, more food is on the way.

In my home, I have a giant sign over the pantry door that says GROCERY. I point to it when guests arrive and then to the fridge, while delivering a sweet yet firm warning that I’ll be offended if they do not make themselves at home. Seriously, a visit doesn’t seem successful if guests leave without eating or drinking something. And do not dare turn a Southerner down when they offer you some food to take home with you!

Do you even want me to get started about Southern holiday traditions? It’s all centered around the oven, I tell ya. Baked goods galore. We celebrate with food. We mourn with food. We love with food.


Although I think this tradition is charming, it’s given me pause at times. Especially when I sat down to write Lulu’s Café. The “loving on you with food” had to be there, but I decided to explore the possibility of presenting it in a healthier way. I’m sure this is making some of you gasp. Believe me, it wasn’t an easy concept, considering I’ve been raised in the Butter Belt. I’m known for my baked goods and give them out generously as my way of loving on folks.

While coming up with ways for Lulu to use healthier ingredients in her Southern dishes, I also pondered the entire idea of how people show their love to others—food being only one way in an infinite array of possibilities. Although we may all have a different perspective on this, there is one thing we all have in common that we can use to help show our love. We have a limited amount of this and do not know exactly when the supply of it will run out, but I’ve come to view it as one of the greatest gifts we have.

Time. We all have the gift of time.


The twenty-layer chocolate cake I make on a very rare occasion for my family comes to mind. It’s a giant, super-decadent treat. No way can we eat all of it in one day. There will most likely be leftover cake to enjoy the next day, too. This is not the case with our time. Once a day is gone, it’s gone. There are no leftover hours or minutes or even seconds you can carry over for another slice of time.

I often wonder if I’ve loved my family with enough of my time. What will they remember me by when my time limit is up? Did I stop and listen enough? Did we laugh enough? Did I pay enough attention when they had tears in their eyes? Did they know they could depend on me for more than delicious servings of cake?

Lulu made a good point in the book—At the moment, the girl didn’t need to listen. She needed to be heard. If you’ve ever sat down with me over a cup of coffee, then you know I can talk your ear off. However, I also understand what Lulu meant. Listening is a gift. My children have things they need to say, and they need to be heard. Remembering this, I stopped while typing just now to go hang out with them for a little while, giving them the chance to speak. Honestly, I don’t always get this gift of love right. The busyness of life can get in the way, but it’s up to us to be mindful of not allowing it to take over.


Don’t get me wrong, I’m still loving on my family and others with food. It’s a part of my Southern makeup, after all. But when I deliver a casserole or cake to someone, I try to give them a serving of my time to listen as well. Suppertime in the Lowe house is always done together at least five days a week. My crowd is so spoiled—in a good way—that they wrinkle their noses at the idea of take-out most nights, but I don’t mind . . . mostly. I love cooking up nourishing meals, knowing they will enjoy them and it will be much healthier for their bodies. That, in itself, is a gift I love giving.

How about you? What gifts of love do you enjoy sharing with others? Any traditions other than food? And if it’s food, any unique dishes?



Celebrating release day for Lulu's Café!

When a damaged young woman is given a chance to reclaim her life in a small South Carolina town, she must reckon with the dark secrets she left behind in order to accept the love she deserves.

On the run from a violent past, Leah Allen arrived in tiny Rivertown, South Carolina, battered and broken, but ready to reinvent herself. By a stroke of fate, Leah is drawn to the Southern hospitality of a small café, looking for a warm meal but finding so much more. Lulu, the owner, offers her a job, a place to stay and a new lease on life. Through Lulu's tenacious warmth and generosity, Leah quickly finds herself embraced by the quaint community as she tries to put herself back together. Given she's accustomed to cruelty, the kindness is overwhelming.

Soon Leah meets Crowley Mason, the most eligible bachelor in town. A lawyer and friend of Lulu's, Crowley is wary of Leah's sudden, mysterious arrival. Despite his reserve, something sparks between them that can't be denied. But after all she's been through, can Leah allow herself to truly love and be loved, especially when her first urge is to run?

Exploring the resiliency of both the heart and the spirit, Lulu's Café gorgeously illustrates how old scars can finally heal no matter how deep they seem.



Bestselling author T.I. Lowe sees herself as an ordinary country girl who loves to tell extraordinary stories. She knows she's just getting started and has many more stories to tell. A wife and mother and active in her church community, she resides in coastal South Carolina with her family.

For a complete list of Lowe's published books, biography, upcoming events, and other information, visit tilowe.com and be sure to check out her blog, COFFEE CUP, while you're there!

51 comments:

  1. Welcome to Seekerville, T. I. Lowe!

    So do you go by "T"? We've never met, and I am unsure what to call folks who use initials... so let me/us know what works for you. And this book sounds absolutely charming, I love the premise that it's not all about food... that the heart needs to be heard. So wonderful!

    I brought fresh coffee... and I hope you all don't mind if I brought along some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, too, the ones I didn't leave in the oven and go outside with my brother and FORGOT.....

    You don't want those.

    But there were plenty of tended-to cookies, so I brought them along instead!

    Thank you for being with us today and best of luck with your success!

    Ruthy

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  2. Good morning, Ruth!
    I see I'm not the only early riser!
    My name is Tonya Inez Lowe. Y'all are welcome to call me Tonya or T.I.
    I'm sipping on my coffee too! Sure wish I had some of those cookies to go with it!
    Thank you for the warm welcome. I look forward to chatting with everyone throughout the day!
    Warmly,
    Tonya aka T.I.

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    1. I just saw your tweet to me that Blogger was being a brat, so I'm so glad you're here, Tonya! Or "T.I.".... :)

      The cookies are amazing, and Tonya, they're right there on the table next to the coffee system. :)

      So tell us about you and your books... indie or traditional, what you like to do. I want to hear more about this cool Southern author.

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    2. Now my internet won’t load the site so I had to unplug the internet and am using my phone to reply. My eyes aren’t as good as they used to be. Just warning there may be typos. Lol. I done told the devil to get behind me!
      Thank you for calling me cool! I call myself a dork! Lol. I live to learn new things so Publishing indie and then traditional has been such an epic journey of learning and discovery. The two ways are greatly different yet the goal is the same: share a story. I consider myself but only a dork but a storyteller, so I present my stories more like a conversation. I hope my readers will make a new friend or two
      By the end of my book. My characters endure life struggles just as we do, so I hope readers will also find inspiration amongst the pages. Life is tough but one must take the time to find the humor too.

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    3. Tonya, it sounds like you've had the best of both worlds in publishing! And you're right about it being a journey of learning and discovery.

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    4. Believe so too. 😊🙌🏼

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  3. Good morning from Texas, Tonya! I enjoyed your post so much. Such a great reminder. My husband and I were recently blessed with a 6th grandchild and I'm stunned by how fast time is flying by. I spend every minute I can with all six of them. I'm not a great cook, but I hope they always remember the love and laughter they found here. Thanks for a great post, and congratulations on your book. "Lulu's Cafe" sounds so interesting.

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    1. Laura, congratulations on the new grandchild!! You're blessed!

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  4. Good morning, Laura! I feel you about time flying by. My oldest, Nathan, graduates this Thursday from high school and is going off to college in August. I keep asking myself, "How did this happen?!"
    And you're absolutely right. Love and laughter will be remembered!
    I appreciate you reading my blog post and spending a little of your time with me this morning!

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    1. Tonya, it's tough to let the oldest go! Of course, it wan't much easier with my next two. haha

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    2. Makes my heart hurt just thinking about August. I'd never hold him back, but I sure am going to miss him. Lydia is 5 years younger. I understand it not getting any easier!

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  5. Welcome, Tonya. I'm from Nebraska, and I think food is a normal comfort item everywhere. I often take food to people who have had a new baby, had surgery, had a death in the family, or whatever situation where a meal might be useful. The main dish I usually make is a spaghetti bake. Now my son has taken on this tradition, too. Recently he made this meal to take to a young woman in his young adult church group who had lost her mother.

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    1. Sandy, that's a wonderful tradition to pass to your son!

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  6. Aww, Sandy! Sounds like you've raised one fine young man! A spaghetti bake us one of my favorites!

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  7. I really enjoyed this post! I spotted your new release on the Christian fiction shelf in my Barnes & Noble a few days ago. I was running late, so I didn't get to pick it up. I'm going to have to go back and get it today. After I eat something, since your post has made me hungry :)

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    1. Oh that’s! Awesome that it’s in a store near you! I just indulged in a piece of cake for the book birthday!! Thank you for taking the time to chat with me!

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    2. Chris, how fun that you saw the book!

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    3. Enjoy that cake! Book birthdays are the best :)

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    4. Missy, I was so excited when I saw T.I.'s book because I had it on my TBR list already. I recognized her name and the cover right away. It's always fun to see authors we've met online in an actual bookstore.

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    5. It's hard to believe you're talking about ME!! Still cannot wrap my mind around all this! Thank you for being a part of my story!

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  8. Thanks for being here today, Tonya! I'm especially looking forward to reading Lulu's Cafe and your post makes me hungry!

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    1. Thank you, Beth! It’s been an exciting time. I’m so grateful to be sharing it with y’all! And just wait until you read the book! Lulu will make you even more hungry!

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  10. Hi T. I.

    Have you've been to LuLu's in Gulf Shores, Alabama? It's Jimmy Buffet's sister's place for southern cooking and great sea food. A local landmark. I think you might be asked about this from time to time when touring.

    I love what you are saying in your book.

    My mother always asked us four kids at the dinner table what we learned in school that day. (The family always ate together. We didn't know back then that there was any option to do otherwise).

    Each of us had to talk and were listened to in turn. Many years later at Toastmaster's meetings we had to do much the same thing only they called it 'Table Topics'! It was supposed to be a great extemporaneous learning experience for future Toastmasters. I was well prepared.

    I think really listening helps a child's self-esteem far more than phony awards like participation certificates. Spend the time and really listen.

    To me listening to young and old people, (really listening that is), rates as a ninth beatitude.

    Looking forward to reading your book.

    Vince

    P.S. If you ever go to LuLu's be sure to try the fried green tomatoes.

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    1. I totally agree, Vince, that we all need to listen much more!
      I live just inland of Myrtle Beach SC. They opened a Lulu's not too long ago. I had the shrimp po boy. I'll have to try the fried green tomatoes next time! Thanks for that tip!

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    2. Vince, I believe LuLu's is where we ate last time we were at Orange Beach! It was really good.

      My husband has always asked the kids (usually at meals) what was the worst thing that happened that day and what was the best thing that happened that day. Now that they're all grown, when he asks it, they just laugh but do go ahead and answer. :)

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  11. Mmm. Chocolate gravy and biscuits sounds so good right now. In college, my northern friends turned their noses up at it, but my family practically licks their plates clean.:-)
    I am all about loving with food. Maybe because I have been loved on in that way many times before. Also, shared experiences. As much fun as it is to visit the zoo or see a show, it's so much better with those you love.

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    1. Isn't chocolate gravy the best! I have my Texas native character in an upcoming book make it. Also will include the recipe in the back of the book!
      And that's the truth about experiencing life and moments with your loved ones. We need to collect as many memories like we do souvenirs as we can!
      Thanks for sharing with me!

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    2. Well, I admit, I haven't had chocolate gravy before! I actually had to look it up. And yes, it's exactly as described. :)

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  12. T.I., welcome! We're so glad you joined us today!

    I love southern hospitality and love to read it in books. I try to show it in my books about small Georgia towns. I love sharing a piece of what I experience in real life! :)

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    1. Georgia is such an inspiring place! Been all over it and have set a few books in Georgia as well! I'm actually spending the day in Savannah this Friday with my family. 😊

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    2. Oh, how fun! I love Savannah but haven't been there in years.

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    3. I have an entire day planned to explore the city and then eat at The Pirate House. Hopefully, the rain will hold off.

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  13. Oh, and congratulations on the new release!

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  14. Quick off-topic question!! If any of you subscribe to our blog by email with Feedburner, can you tell me if you're still getting your emails okay?

    Thanks!

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  15. T.I. isn't writing fiction an amazing thing? It teaches us so much, all within the structure of a story. I appreciate your thoughts on time and the skill of listening. Thanks for coming by Seekerville today, and congratulations on your new release!

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    1. I've heard that if you do what you love then you will never work a day in your life. I agree. Writing is me doing what I love! Thank you for having me today. It's been such fun to chat with new friends. And let's be clear: if you are a bibliophile you are my friend. You my kind of people.

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  16. Tonya, such a lovely post! Thanks for being with us today. I'm a foodie and love on people with food. My heart is happiest when my children and grandchildren are sitting at my table, enjoying a meal I prepared with love for them.

    We always ate together as a family when my children were growing up. Usually we waited until the last person was home from sports practice or my hubby home from a late day at the office. Even when the kids were little, we always waited for Dad! There's something spiritual about the dinner table and a family coming together to share the bits and pieces of their days. We've all heard "the family that prays together stays together." You can add "eats together" to the adage as well.

    Did you want some sweet tea with your biscuits and gravy? Cornbread and buttermilk? Maybe a slice of pecan pie or red velvet cake?

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    1. Hey, Debby! I totally agree with adding "eats together". And is there anything sweeter than the serving of conversation shared with that slice of pie or cake? Thank you for sharing you family tradition. It's one we should all add to our own.

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  17. It's the same down here (or should I say over here?) in Mississippi. Food for every occasion and then some. :)

    But as I read the part about your family having dinner together 5 days a week, I felt a bit sad. As a young wife, I wanted to have that sit-down dinner at 6 pm every night like I'd seen on Mayberry and The Waltons. As farmers, we'd never had that too much at home as we were coming and going at all hours. As luck would have it, I married a farmer who had a regular 40 hour work-week in construction, so the sit-down dinners have been fewer for us than they were for me as a kid/teen. But maybe growing up on a farm helped me adjust faster than a girl who'd grown up with a formal dinner hour, then married a farmer or a guy who didn't have that same mindset. :)

    Also, I recently downloaded an app called Ate. You just take a photo of your plate and it logs the date and time. Simple, easy way to keep up with meals and when & what I ate. You can add some notes:

    Why did you eat? (hungry, it was time, bored, etc.)
    Who did you eat with? (friends, family, by myself, etc.)
    How was it?
    Where did you eat?
    How was it made?
    How did it make you feel?

    I've been a little sad that SO many of my meals are BY MYSELF. But I do work from home, so I don't know why I'm surprised. lol

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    1. Hi, Pam. I completely understand the eating alone since I work from home too. Today I had a piece of cake to celebrate my book release all by myself. A little sad but then I refocused on all the good. And there's a whole heaping lot of it. I'm blessed well past my woes.
      I'll have to check out that app. Thanks for sharing the info about it!

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    2. My daughter is home from college, so I've got a little company for lunch on occasion now! I'm getting spoiled.

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  18. And... I meant to say, Congrats on the release of Lulu's Cafe!

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  19. I enjoy baking and sharing especially cupcakes. Congratulations on Lulu’s cafe. Sometimes my siblings call me LuLu.

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  20. Thanks so much T.I. Lowe for sharing how you "love on" people. :) I enjoy taking meals and some cheerful flowers to friends and family when they are going through a rough time, along with a card and Scripture verse that I hope is encouraging. Lee-Ann

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